#dangerbox

Our good buddy, Curtis (we won't say his last name explicitly just in case his ex googles him and sees this), wrote an epic poem about an ex girlfriend of his and we wanted to share it with you.

For those of you who give a hoot, Curtis is a freshman at NYU and a member of NYU’s improv team Dangerbox. He’s a hilarious son of gun with a talent for writing songs and poems about poop. If you’d like to learn more about Curtis, such as what’s his favorite Starbucks beverage or what’s his social security number, send us a message and we’ll make sure he receives it! Also, follow him on Twitter here! Enough of this intro garbage- without further ado, here is…

The Tale of Diarrhea Claire

by Curtis

Come gather ‘round children, and I’ll spin you a yarn

‘Bout a girl who produced more foul smells than a barn

Handmade by the Lord, to earth she was sent down

To fulfill a holy prophecy of brown

But her presence brought not the end, twasn’t the rapture

But the heart of God’s nemesis she was to capture

A bespectacled lad with unruly blonde hair

Had been doubting God, asserting he wasn’t there

To silence his doubt, drown in brown his dissent

To earth a spirit of evil God sent

He sent her to the south, birthed in Tennessee

A true southern belle, ‘til she left after week three

She voyaged to Glen Ellyn, where her victim awaited

But many years were to pass before the two dated

She waited patiently to take this boy’s life and spoil it

(Most of this waiting took place on the toilet)

Have such patience children, for ‘tis now time to share

The most woeful tale of Diarrhea Claire

  She nestled in Glen Ellyn, won the villagers’ hearts

Then retired to privacy and unleashed her sharts

For Claire’s great secret, that I shall now reveal

Was that she had mad diarrhea after every meal

Chick-fil-a and McDonald’s, they were her vice,

Though her doctors she told that she dined on white rice

But the snack that to Claire was most highly rated,

Was whatever the dicks she sucked ejaculated

She gave head in the Starbucks lot with great glee

While mother awaited her presence patiently

When the vile act was over she shared mother’s drink

But the splooj made her have sticky ‘rrhea in the sink

She bounced about friendships, went group to group

But told none the liquid nature of her poop

‘Twas in year eleven she set sights on her victim

Gave all ‘round her the illusion she’d picked’em

Yet the ultimate fate of which all were unaware

Progressive House

ID - Johan Vilborg

I've been sitting on this song for a little over 4 months now, but I couldn't wait until it was finished. This song is only a sneak preview of what is to come, but Johan Vilborg is in the works with a complete track. At the age of 11, Johan Vilborg discovered trance music, at the age of 16 he found a program called FL Studio, and a few years after that he released his first EP called Don't Hold Me Back on his alias Feeltz. Since then, he has released a few more EP's that have earned the backing and respect from artists such as Armin Van Buuren, Above & Beyond, Markus Schulz, and Paul Van Dyk, just to name a few. This is a perfect song for any occasion and I hope everyone can groove to this track like I can.