#dance verse

The first time Kurt goes on stage with actual lines there’s a small basket of violets for him, next to David’s roses and the mixed bouquet from his dad and Carole. The card reads “in honor of what’s surely to be only the first in a line of successful performances”.

It’s signed Carmen Tibideaux.

She’s just kissing up, Kurt thinks, but. Flowers are always nice (almost always) and truth be told, so’s kissing up.

Not that it happens to him that often, but. He definitely deserves it, and so he’ll enjoy it while he can.

It’s not like it’ll happen again, after all.

It happens again.

And again.

Every time Kurt goes on in a new role, or a new show, there’s another basket of violets and a small card. After a while he even begins to think that the congratulations are sincere. Oh, there is, or at least was, some guilt involved, but really. Who sends flowers like this, for this long, and to someone they don’t even really know, just because of guilt?

When Kurt’s musical premieres the (by now expected) basket of violets is a little larger than usual, and accompanied by a small but in no way cheap bottle of champagne.

More unexpectedly it’s also accompanied by the madame herself, something that makes Kurt almost choke on air.

He knows from experience that the New York to Toronto flight is an easy one, short and not particularly expensive, having taken it himself on several occasions. Still, for Carmen Tibideaux to actually buy a ticket for his show (his!) and travel to be there, when Kurt knows she could go see any number of shows for free just a short subway trip away, is shocking and honestly more than a little intimidating.

If he’d been less of a professional Kurt probably would have stumbled over his own feet or forgotten the lyrics (regardless of the fact that he’s written them himself) but by now he’s used to pressure. He allows the madame to become just another face, another body, and focuses on becoming someone else. And then he proceeds to knock everyone’s socks off.

Afterwards, when he’s still riding the high of the performance and the applause Kurt talks to Carmen Tibideaux for the first time since hearing her repeat Rachel’s, and Mr Schue’s, lies. Looks her in the eyes for the first time since, and tries to not feel too pleased about the lingering shame he sees there.

He wants to be better than that, and he is better than that, most of the time. Petty impulses be damned.

So Kurt pastes on a pleasant smile, the one he uses for clients and investors and reporters that don’t rate a real on, and greets the woman who once ruined all his hopes about experiencing exactly this.

They talk about the show, and the songs, and the performers, and Toronto, and do most certainly not talk about NYADA or anything related to that.

Until it’s time to part, that is.

“Mr Hummel? From what I’ve seen tonight, NYADA is a poorer place for not having you. Now, I know that that is on me, and not you, but that doesn’t make it any less true. You would have been an asset to, and a great pride for, our institution for many years.

“However, I’m not sure we would have done quite as well by you. What you’ve accomplished so far... I cannot honestly say that NYADA would have helped you - or even allowed you - do so. So, as much as I wish I could have claimed you as one of mine, I truly think you made the better choice.”

She lifts a hand, waving off an argument Kurt hasn’t made, and is that a blush on her cheeks?

“Oh, none of that makes up for how things went down - nothing can, really - but it eases my guilt a little that I didn’t completely ruin things.

“I wish you the best in your future endeavours, Mr Hummel, and I expect many great things to come from you.”

It doesn’t make things miraculously perfect, no, but the words do soothe some remaining hurts. As Kurt mull over the talk he comes to the surprising conclusion that he’s ready to let it go. He’s done hating Carmen Tibideaux.

Because she’s right. NYADA could never have been this good to him.

When the show premieres on Broadway Carmen Tibideaux sends Kurt the customary basket of violets. He sends her a ticket to opening night.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Glee, nor would I care to with the way the show and the characters were ruined.

Final installment of the Dance ‘verse.

Dancing in the Dark

Part 7

Kurt looked around and smiled at the sight that met him. The foyer was practically packed, and every single face he could see looked eager. Once he would have taken that for a given, seeing as this was an audition for a Broadway play, but he'd learned differently since.

This time however, everyone was buzzing with excitement. It felt like a good sign, and soothed some of Kurt's worries. This was after all his baby. The concept for the show was all his, and a good portion of the lyrics as well. Yes, it had gotten good reviews in Toronto, and had obviously been considered good enough to be picked up for a stint at Broadway. That didn't change anything.

His dad had pointed out that the way Kurt was feeling now sounded like how Burt himself had felt when Kurt had decided to leave the country, and Kurt had apologized profoundly for what his younger self had unknowingly put his family through. He hadn't regretted a minute of it, just. He understood now.

Smiling softly Kurt moved carefully among the hopefuls to try and listen to them talk. He'd learned that you could learn a lot about people from the way they acted around those they considered peers or lower than them.

Halfway across the room he stopped, barely believing his eyes. Standing not ten feet from him was Rachel Berry. And to make things even worse, next to her was Blaine. Kurt's first impulse was to call security and have them thrown out.

Instead he moved towards them, silently, and placed himself just right for eavesdropping. They were in the middle of an argument, but it was easy to pick up the thread. Rachel was auditioning for chorus, while Blaine thought she should aim higher. He, of course, was only auditioning for the most prominent roles.

“Listen to me, Blaine. Don't you think I'd rather have a large role? But right now I can't afford to think like that. I graduate NYADA in less than a month, and I need this. Fighting for the lead is risky – chorus is a safer bet, and right now I need a paying job more than I need status.”

“But Rachel–”

“No. You don't get it, okay, because you have another year. I don't. My rent's been paid through August, but after that I'm on my own. I need a job.” Unlike you echoed unsaid, and Kurt held back a sigh. Somethings, it seemed, never would change. Blaine never had gotten the crass reality of having to fend for yourself.

Rachel, on the other hand, sounded like she was beginning to get it, and Kurt found himself pleasantly surprised. Through Adam and his Apples Kurt had gotten a few choice tidbits regarding the antics of Miss Berry, but those had stopped after her second year. They hadn't been encouraging, but from the sounds of it something had changed.

He was just about to walk on when Rachel spotted him, and called out his name in a shaky voice.

“Kurt?”

As she continued to stare at him with equal parts non-belief and shock, and Blaine joined her, Kurt sighed and gave in.

“Hello. Here to audition, I suppose?”

Blaine puffed up and started talking about how perfect he would be for a number of parts – all of them, Kurt noticed, way out of Blaine's league. He didn't say anything, choosing instead to look at Rachel.

“Yes. I graduate this spring, and well. I think I would do a good job in the chorus.”

She stood with her back ramrod straight, and her chin up, looking defiantly back at him. Maybe she thought he would try to tear her down, for old time's sake, or that he would act like Blaine. Or, Kurt realized, she was bracing herself for round two of Blaine knows best. Well. He certainly wasn't there for that – for either of it, honestly.

“I think that's a sound approach. There's nothing wrong with being chorus, in fact you can learn a lot from it. Not to mention that if the PTB's think you're doing a good job in chorus that can totally work to your advantage.

“It's smart of you not to overreach at this point. This is a demanding musical, for everyone, and the choreography is killer at some points. You can do it, if you work hard and listen to direction, but chorus allows you a little more leeway.”

It was obvious that his analysis wasn't exactly what Rachel had hoped for, but she tried hard to take it like the pro she wanted to be. Kurt was a little impressed, despite himself.

Of course, Blaine wasn't going to let them leave him out of the conversation, regardless of the fact that it had nothing to do with him. Sooo, pretty much as usual, then.

He was red in the face and gestured wildly as he spat out nonsense about Rachel's choices, Kurt's qualifications for giving advice, and well, Kurt's everything. While an embarrassed Rachel tried to make him stop, Kurt just looked at him like he was a particularly boring lab specimen.

It had always been best to let Blaine run out of steam before trying to deal with him, or leave, and it wasn't as if anything he had to say would have an impact on Kurt. Not any more.

“And you're saying this, what, out of the kindness of your heart? I'm sure it has nothing to do with you auditioning, now does it.”

Blaine sounded so patronizing, and Kurt wondered when he'd gotten that good at it. Or maybe he'd always sounded like that, and Kurt had just missed it. Either way he wasn't going to stand for it any longer.

“First of all, 'out of the kindness of my heart'? Oh Blaine, are you truly that naïve that you think there's any kindness in my heart for the two of you? Because there's not, nor anything else, for that matter.

“Second, what would me auditioning have anything to do with Rachel? I'm not, by the way,” and he saw a glimmer of something – relief – in Blaine's eyes, “but if I was, then I still wouldn't be competing against her. I enjoy singing songs by female artists, sure, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm a man, and any part I audition for is going to reflect that.

“Now, you on the other hand, you I could be considered going up against for a part. Only I don't actually consider you competition. By the time I left you were showing serious signs of vocal damage, and your range was shrinking instead of increasing. Also, you were showing exactly zero improvement when it came to dancing.”

To his amusement Kurt saw that Blaine's face was almost purple now, and if he'd still cared he would have worried about Blaine bursting a blood-vessel in his brain. As it was he just kept talking, voice cool and detached.

“Maybe you've spent the last four years working on that, I don't know. I don't really care, to be honest, because in the end, what I do know? It's this: the people in there, the ones in charge of casting? They don't want to work with your kind.

“And before you actually give yourself an aneurysm or try to twist that around, I'm talking about your sense of ethics. No one wants to subject themselves and their project to that.

“Me, however? Me they do want to work with. The reason I'm not auditioning is that I don't need to. I'm already under contract.”

Kurt knew his voice was colored by pride, but he didn't care. He had every reason to feel that way. He was only 22 years old, and he was about to make his Broadway debut – twice over even. And he'd made it without a fancy school, and without people rearranging everything to accommodate him.

Yes, he'd been given help, and lots of it, but most of that had been because of his talent. He'd made it the rest of the way on his own, and he'd worked hard for everything he had. Without that there was no way he'd have a contract for the production.

Yes, he had originated the part, and yes, he was one of the show's writers, but neither of that would have guaranteed him a spot. It was his talent, his hard work, and his dedication that had made the producers decide to offer him a contract when picking up the show for Broadway.

Kurt Hummel was finally being seen as the star he was meant to be.

He threw one last look at his ex, relishing in the impotent fury he saw, and noting how little Blaine's looks (or Blaine's anything really) did for him now. And then he closed the door on that part of his life for good.

“Well, as interesting as this has been, I have somewhere else to be. Rachel,” he nodded, and walked away.

He could hear sputtering behind him, but didn't care. As the angry sounds petered out they were replaced by quickly approaching footsteps. Kurt sighed, and begged the universe to have it be anyone but Blaine. Anyone.

“Kurt?”

Thank god it's Rachel. And to think that felt really, really weird.

“Yes?”

“You really got a part in the show? In a Broadway production?” Kurt felt his hackles rise, but before he could snap Rachel continued.

“I'm really happy for you. You deserve it. And not that I think you want or need to hear this, but you deserve an apology as well. What I did to you, it was so wrong. I get that now. I don't expect you to forgive me, or believe me, but still. I'm trying to be a better person now.”

Which, maybe she was, and maybe she was just trying to curry favor. Either way she was right about one thing: Kurt wasn't going to forgive her.

“And... I know I don't deserve to know, but please, Finn? Is he okay?”

Ah. Kurt looked at her, trying to decide what to believe and what – if anything – to tell her. Finally he nodded.

“He's fine. He's beyond okay – in fact, I don't think I've ever seen him this happy. He's in school, and he's doing great. I really think he's found his thing. And, ehm, he's dating someone, someone who loves and respects him the way he deserves. The way he's never had before.”

“I did that!”

“Rachel, no. You loved Finn, yes, I don't doubt that. But you didn't respect him. Not really. Look at everything you did, the cheating, the lies, the manipulation... Look at what you did to me, a member of Finn's family. Do you really think trying to ruin his brother showed respect?”

As far as Kurt was concerned it didn't exactly show love either, but that was him. Rachel was...well, Rachel. He wasn't going to trash her anymore – he didn't need to. Her pale face, wet eyes and shaking hands told him she'd had quite enough as it was. Besides, he thought she would probably be worse on herself than he could stomach being.

Strange. Once he would have relished in this chance to tear her down, to give her some of her own medicine. It was, he suspected, a sign of how far he'd come and how much he'd grown.

“I see. Thank you for telling me. I guess there's someone in your life as well? You're engaged?”

Kurt looked down at his hand, at the still shiny ring, and smiled. He was nowhere near getting over that thrill.

“Married, actually. But Rachel, I need to go. Auditions are about to start, and I don't want to miss anything. Break a leg, I guess.”

He began to turn, hesitated, and faced her again.

“Rachel? One last piece of advice, from someone who used to love you. Be careful about Blaine. I don't know how close the two of you are today, but he's a bit more comfortable stabbing people in the back than you might think.

“He knows about what you and Mr Schue did.” Kurt saw Rachel's color turn into a sickly pale with red splotches, and could practically taste the shame coming from her. “He overheard you talk to Carmen, and instead of interrupting or setting her straight, or at the very least tell me what was going on, he decided to take advantage.

“Blaine claimed to love me. And he still had no problem whatsoever sacrificing my dream. He threw me to the wolves, so to speak, because it suited his purposes. If he was willing to do that to me, after repeatedly telling me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, then what do you think he would do to you?”

He didn't wait for an answer, instead choosing to just walk away, absentmindedly thumbing his ring for comfort. Maybe it was a bit crazy, getting married at his age, but it had felt right. David and he had been together for three years, and had built a strong foundation as friends first. They had a healthy relationship, and while Kurt couldn't swear on forever, he wanted that. It was a risk, sure, but what relationship wasn't?

And unlike some others, David had proven himself worth the second chance Kurt had given him – and more.

And speaking of second chances, and being worthy... Seeing Rachel and Blaine had really brought home how much things had changed since the last time he'd seen them, and more importantly how much he himself had changed.

He had been alone. He had been in the dark. And he had been scared. But being alone had taught Kurt to stand on his own, and who was worth his trust. Being in the dark had taught him to find his way, and to appreciate the light. Being scared had taught him to be brave.

And now, now he was neither of those things.

Kurt Hummel lived a life full of light, on and off stage, and had someone at his side. He was happy, and in a way he never would have envisioned.

As he walked through the doors he found himself humming an old familiar tune.

This time, boys, I'm taking the bows and

Everything's coming up Kurt

~ The End ~