Three Movie Pitch Ideas for If I Ever, for Some Reason, Guested on the Podcast Are You Afraid of the Dark Universe?
1. ISLAND OF DOCTOR MOREAU is the easiest pitch in terms of fitting it into D&D's established Dark Universe: Moreau is from a public domain novel by H.G. Wells, the same author who created The Invisible Man; Gwen the righteous werewolf would be his ideal opponent as she leads the other beast-people to revolt against the white man in the plantation suit; and it gives me a chance to talk about one of my favorite movies of all time Island of Lost Souls (which isn't a Universal Studios movie but it does feature Bela Lugosi).
2. THE COMEDY HOMAGE. When I go to Letterboxd and filter all the Universal Studios movies I've ever rated, the only ones that truly speak to me are classic comedies from the thirties and forties. So instead of trying to make myself care about dinosaurs or time machines or John Hughes, I'd see about playing to my strengths and pitching a movie where a monster attacks a traveling circus, featuring a W.C. Fields-alike as the crafty and boozy ringleader, Olsen and Johnson analogues leading the clowns, a pesky woodpecker named Woody, and an obligatory appearance by D&D's Abbott and Costello updates (as played by Larry David and Pete Davidson).
3. THE JAWS SPOOF. This is the one least likely to make the cut: I'm not actually all that into shark attack movies, even upon acknowledging that the original Jaws is one of the best of its ilk. But I am endlessly fascinated by one particular piece of Hollywood trivia: that the original pitch for Jaws 3 was to make a National Lampoon spoof titled Jaws 3, People 0. The podcast episode would probably devolve into matching SNL alumni with shark-attack gags, but it could be worth it just to discuss the fact that National Lampoon's Jaws was a real idea once upon a time.
