#daichi angst

age: 10 in the fields.

"daichi!" you nudged his calf and he shifted his attention to look down at you. he was not much taller than you, but had already accepted his role as your protector. you sat in the meadow and looked up at him with wonder in your eyes. your fingers had clasped around a haphazard bouquet — a mismatch of colours and hues. "please hold this."

"princess," he sighed wearily. "we really shouldn't be here. it—" he scanned the fields with his periphery, "it could be dangerous here. out in the open."

"nothing dangerous about picking flowers, sire!" you grinned to yourself. daichi watched as you sorted through the tall standing flowers, picking more. there was dirt on your knees, your pristine silken dress tucked up over your knees so you wouldn't soil them and get scolded by your mother. some dirt had caked it's way from your fingernails onto your chubby cheeks. daichi felt his face flush, and so, he looked away to the faraway trees again. "we could land in trouble, princess."

"awh, daichi!" you pouted, still searching for more flowers, "if i get into trouble, you'd save me right?"

daichi swallowed, his gaze averted from you again. he knew the answer before you had ever asked the question. "yes. always."

you stood up, extending your palm towards him so he could hold these flowers as well. when you smiled, daichi felt his chest tighten. "then i have nothing to worry about, yes?"

"never. not as long as you have me." he could barely hear his own words over the rush of blood in his eardrums, of his heartbeat going rampant in his chest, and the feeling of something shimmering hot in his cheeks.

"good!" you beamed, brushing your hand against his as you forced the flowers into his hand. "take these flowers as a payment! for keeping me safe."

his bleary vision shifted to his palms, where the flowers blinked up at him in hues of pinks and reds and yellow. he blinked up at you, "f-for me?"

you nodded, proud. "now you cannot leave my side, for i have bequeathed you with these flowers!"

silly you, daichi thought, how could he ever leave your side?

he clutched the flowers tighter under his fist, though, until he felt the flimsy stems pop at the sheer force. his eyes fell to the ground, "we should go now."

you nodded and brushed past him. he watched you as you skipped along the meadow. he loved you. god, how he loved you.

━━━☆⭒

age: 14 in the gardens.

"you shouldn't be here, princess." daichi said sternly, standing straight as he crossed his arms and glared — well, tried to glare — at you. you looked up from your position near the grand fountain. the water fell so softly behind you, erupting in a gentle stream that fell from the top and trickled down to the bottom. the grass kissed your feet. the moon hung low in the starry, midnight sky and shaded your a pale blue. there went on another one of those pointless galas inside the palace, and you refused to spend another minute mingling with those haughty noble folk. so, you had come and hidden yourself in one of the many gardens of your estate.

"i wish to stay right here." you huffed, defying his comment with your own. daichi sighed, his eyes softening at your little fit, "this cannot do. your mother searches for you."

"let her, then!" you said plainly. there was this resolve in your eyes, one that made daichi's gaze falter away from you. "why doesn't she bother brother with these impudent matters instead? why always have me smile and wave at those proud, showy noble folks?"

"it is just how things have come to be. you cannot keep the queen waiting."

"well, that is no excuse for it to continue!" you huffed again, and daichi fought off a smile at the display of your stubbornness. you stood up and drew closer to him, "you know how i loathe these, daichi! how pointless it is to attend these galas and dote on those- those foolish men!"

he exhaled — both at the sudden closeness and the firmness of your words. "i know that."

there was a beat of silence. one in which the two of your just stared at each other. for a moment, daichi swore he felt your cheeks dust pink. however, he averted his eyes from yours and looked down at his shoes instead.

"do not force me." you turned around and sat back down at the edge of the fountain, one of your hands finding itself in the clear water again. your fingers swirled about the still water, and daichi gave it a last try, this time with a hint of emotional manipulation mixed in, "if you do not come with me, father would chastise me endlessly for allowing the princess to run away and hide."

your hand stilled in the water at his words. you craned your neck slowly towards him, "he would?"

daichi nodded, "you know how strictly he abides by the orders of the court."

"ugh." you groaned again, this time sluggishly picking yourself up, "fine, then. you win! but you—" you drew closer again, this time jamming your index finger into his chest with narrowed eyes, "you shall have to steal me a treat from the kitchen quarters tonight, sire sawamura! that is the least i deserve for what i am to endure now."

daichi laughed, something soft and airy, "yes. i promise."

you smiled, "very well, then. let us head back."

daichi did end up getting reprimanded by his father anyways, for stealing from the kitchen quarters. not like daichi could care, he would get reprimanded every day for the rest of his life if it meant that you smiled so sweetly as you did when you received that little treat. he loved you.

━━━☆⭒

age: 16 the palace library.

"you must see this! my ladies-in-waiting told me of this book!" you burst into a fit of giggles, sitting with daichi in between the maze of tall-standing, wooden shelves stacked with books upon books. in your hand, you held a thick leather-bound book and daichi couldn't help but warn you again, "if someone saw that you weren't in your room at this late hour of the night, princess—"

"sire sawamura!" you whispered feverishly, pointing to the book, "here i am, trying to impart knowledge to you and you're so worried about other, rather foolish matters! if someone finds me, so be it!"

"both of us would be stoned to death if they realize you're out of your chambers at such late hours of the night! with me, at that!"

you narrowed your eyes and stated plainly, "do you wish to read this with me, or not?"

well, you sure knew how to puppeteer him. you stood in silence and daichi sighed, weary, "what kind of knowledge is it, now?"

you inched closer to him, till your shoulder brushed against his bicep and your body warmth seeped into his. daichi's breath stuttered but you didn't seem to notice. you opened the heavy book and trailed your fingers down the fine print, "see this! right here!"

daichi found it hard to focus — courtesy of the dark and your close, feverish touch — but still whispered, "what is it?"

"read!" you egged him. daichi read out loud, "the male enters his phallus... princess-?" daichi squeaks, his ears going red as you giggle again. "what is this...?"

"go on!"

daichi felt his entire face heat up, "the- the male enters his phallus inside the female's wettened, sweet cavern. he presses his mouth-" daichi felt his own mouth grow dry, "to hers and steals her breath away as he begins to thrust... the- the female cries, losing herself to the passion of their love."

you laughed again, and the soft voice carries itself through the vast, empty library. daichi blinked, not even looking at you after reading something so lewd. you closed the book and sighed dreamily, "how do you think it would feel to do that with somebody?"

daichi lagged, his eyes resting on your lips for just the barest fraction of a second. "i- i wouldn't know, princess."

"hm. me either." you sighed, putting the book back in it's place. you turned to him slowly, your voice teetering on the edge of silence, "but... i do not wish to not... know until i'm to be wedded off."

he swallowed, "wh-what do you mean?"

"do that."

daichi felt his sanity rip, "d-do what? the phallus—?"

"no!" you shoved his bicep, horrified at the idea. your entire face was flush, eyes dropping to the floor as your whispered, "the... pressing your lips to mine."

as if that was any better?! why did you not just ask daichi sawamura to kill himself? that would have been easier.

"i- i do not think i should..." both of you looked away from each other as daichi saved himself the heartbreak of doing that once and never again, "it's something... your husband must do, princess. not me. not your knight."

you started softly, "but i wish for it to be someone i know... someone who i know is... you."

daichi brought his eyes to your face and felt his entire brain turn to mush, "shall you not regret it?"

you shook your head quickly, "no. never."

he swallowed for the nth time and inched closer. both of yours' breaths got heavier. you closed your eyes, puckering your lips into a soft pout. you awaited something, anything — a featherlike feel of his mouth over yours, maybe a fiery kiss of passion. but instead, you felt his fingertips trace over your cheekbones. your eyes fluttered open and you found daichi staring at your face, awestruck.

his thumb rubbed circles into your cheek and you whispered into the air, "do you not wish to?"

his voice was quiet, eyes heavy with regret of what he were to say next, "i am just a mere knight, princess. that is all i am. all i would ever be."

before you could argue, he leaned forward till your lips all but touched his. his soft breath fanned your lips and your heart stuttered out a pathetic rhythm of unyielding yearning. he trailed his finger down your cheek and onto your lips. his doughy fingertips traced the outline of your lips. both of you said nothing. he then pulled himself back before you could even react, "you must return to your chambers now. it's far too late."

you nodded slowly, "yes. my apologies. i shall take your leave now."

you brushed past him and walked your way to the entrance of the library. daichi stood where he had with you, and amidst the tall shelves he felt his knees weaken. he fell to the floor, shaking thumb that had touched your forbidden skin being brought to his lips. and in his lonesome, daichi smiled to himself. he could never have you. he would never have you. but for a moment there, he touched your bare skin, and that was enough.

━━━☆⭒

age: 18 your chambers.

daichi knocked once, twice, thrice. you didn't allow him the pleasure of hearing your voice from inside your chambers. he took a deep breath, using his scarred, broad palms to push back the gilded doors and peek in.

you sat on your bed, eyes glossed over as you didn't even turn to look at in. he sighed, "may i enter?"

you sat in silence, and he felt his chest clench in vain. swallowing, he announced, "i am entering, then."

he closed the door behind him and walked till he stood in front of you. you refused to look up at him, but he could make out the bloodshot rosiness of your eye-whites and the dried tear-streaks down your face. he kneeled. your knight kneeled in front of you, at the base of your bed and started softly, "you've been crying."

you turned your head to the side, unanswering. daichi continued, looking up at you, "his royal majesty told me to come persuade you. since we have been such close companions all our lives, he believes you'd listen to me."

you scoffed, "he believes wrong."

"princess..." he tried again, despite his lips wobbling at the prospect of what he was suggesting. "you... you must consider the suitors. you are of age now."

you finally looked at him, and in your eyes, he saw it — the ache of betrayal. your eyes glossed over, "you too, daichi? you are- hic- you too are going to tell me to get married?"

of course, it felt like daichi was engraving something sinister in his very heart but he nodded, remembering his duty, his station. his love couldn't make you his. so, he nodded. "you must."

"why?" your voice broke, "i-i do not love any of them."

"you'd grow to love them." he hated himself for saying that. oh, he loathed himself.

"i wouldn't!" tears fell down your cheeks and daichi's fingers twitched. oh, how he just wanted to jump forward and wipe those wretched tears off of your face. oh, how he could hold you in his arms and beg you to never fall in love with any of them. oh, how he longed to be the man you loved instead. but all those fantasies were just that — fantasies. you looked down to your lap as your tears fell in a steady pitter-patter, "i would never... fall in love with them, daichi."

what was daichi to do, now? he — as your bodyguard, as sire sawamura, should tell you to cease your crying and comply. but as your daichi, he couldn't bear to hurt you.

he rose slowly, "i understand. i will tell your father i was unable to persuade you."

he began to turn and felt your nimble fingers wrap around his wrist. he looked back, startled, "princess...?"

you looked up at him, teary-eyed and flushed. your libs wobbled as you came to stand up. you inched closer to him and your fingers still held his flesh at his wrist. you whispered, "help me run away, daichi."

daichi's eyes widened, his lips falling agape, "w-what?"

"please..." your words broke, "please. i do not wish to marry any of them."

it took all in daichi to not immediately agree. no, he had to be rational. he had to act like your protector, not like a boy in love. he replied, plain and simple. "they'd find you."

"no, they would not." you begged, "come with me. let's run away. to-to some faraway land, where nobody knows us."

daichi was silenced. his eyes searched yours and for a moment, all he wish to say was: yes. yes! let's run away. let's go somewhere where loving you isn't my greatest sin. but instead, he said, "if they find us, we're dead. dead."

you placed your hand on his cheek, "i would rather be dead with you, than live with them." the warmth from your soft palms sunk into his skin. his eyes fluttered close as you whispered, "you told me you'd protect me, that you'd never leave my side. were all those words a lie?"

his eyes opened to your face closer to his. he admitted, "they... were not."

"then, let's run away. please."

well, who was the knight to deny his princess of what she wanted?

that night, he conspired with his fellow knights — sire sugawara and sire tanaka, both of whom agreed to help him help you run away. by the time the moon hung proud and tall in the sky, you were sitting behind him on his horse. your arms were looped around his waist, your laugh soft and carefree as you felt the palace drawing farther and farther away. you rested your cheek on his back, closing your eyes and inhaling his scent in. for once, you could hold him without the fear of your station plaguing you.

a random inn, some town, far, far away.

at the counter of the inn, daichi sawamura — stuttering and five shades redder — had declared himself as your husband and you as his lawfully wedded wife, for who would allow for two unmarried youngsters in their inn?

now, daichi rested your luggage on the ground of your assigned room. it was set methodically near the entrance, in case you both had to grab it and run in the middle of the night. you looked around, wincing at how small the room really was. daichi seemed to catch onto your grievances. he apologized, "sorry, we have limited funds. this will have to do for now." you swiveled your head to him. he lingered near the door. "you should take the bed, princess. i will take the floor."

you shook your head, "no."

his brows furrowed, "if you wish for me to take another room, i shall—"

"no." you shook your head again, walking to him. "i mean... don't call me princess anymore, daichi. i am not that." the closer your came to him, the deeper his breaths became. you stood toe-to-toe with him, standing so close that your chest brushed against his. you blinked up at him, "and you are no longer my knight. we are far away from that wretched palace."

he swallowed, "what do you mean, prin-" he winced, "sorry."

you smiled, "what i mean is..." your breath faltered, a sheepish look crossing your eyes, "kiss me."

you half-expected daichi to shake his head and tell you to take the bed and go to sleep, but instead, one of his broad hands wrapped around your waist and another around your nape. he pulled you in and crashed his lips to yours. your eyes widened as the way he manhandled your body and slotted his lips against yours. his tongue licked your parted lips and delved inside. you moaned into the feeling of him, "mmph— god."

his broad hand kneaded your waist, as his lips marked you as his own. he was messy — tongue, teeth, spit. and when he pulled back, both of your lips glistened with a forbidden sheen. your heavy-lidded eyes met his similar ones and you found yourself tugging him by the wrist to the bed. he followed you without any rebellion, falling a slave to your whims and wishes like he had all his life.

settling down on the lousy, thin mattress with haste, you straddled him. for a second, the tension faded. it was just you and him, and him and you, and you and him. it was just you two. it had always been just you two.

his fingers moved through your hair, his eyes locked in against yours. under you, he was flushed and low-lidded. his breath stuttered, lips parting open to whisper, "you're beautiful."

you giggled as you leaned down to kiss him again. instantly, the soft moment turned into something more carnal. you fisted the cropped hair at the base of his neck. he sighed against your lips as you tugged at him. his own arms tightened against your waist as the kiss deepened.

"mmph hah—" you gasped as one of his palms bunched at your dress and and pulled it upwards till it bunched at your hips and left your skin bare in front of him. his lips parted from yours. eyes meets yours, slowly, he trailed his index up and down your skin. you jolted at the foreign touch, a shy whimper falling past your lips.

daichi gave you a small smile, his finger never halting, "what do you wish to do?"

you voiced your desires, "f-fuck me."

daichi's eyes widened at your request, then immediately he grinned — unabashed and free, "my, such crude words, princess."

you rolled your eyes, "do you wish to make love to me or no—?"

he stopped your words with a hasty roll of his pelvis under yours. your breath stuttered as he did the motion again. you found yourself rocking to his rhythm, moving your lower body up and down, glissading your fabric-clad cunt over his clothed erection. he groaned under you, eyes futtering shut. you did much the same. this chaste dance lasted only so long, however.

daichi wrapped his arm around your waist and hoisted you upwards. you looked at him, confused. he quickly turned you around. your back hit the mattress. you blinked up at him as he hovered over you. he didn't give you much time to think, though.

pulling back from you, the man worked quick to take off his shirt. as the fabric was pulled off of his body, his ripped body came into view. the careful muscles in his back and arms, the rippling biceps. clearly, the years of intensive training had come to be of help. you gawked at him, unwilling to take your eyes over the perfectly defined muscles.

daichi's cheeks flushed, eyes darting to the bed as he mumbled, "s-something wrong, princess?"

you giggled, shaking your head rather quickly. you bit down your bottom lip, "all those years of combat have paid off, it seems."

his ears tinged red, a nervous laugh right on his lips. he distracted himself by drawing closer to you again. a quick peck against your lips soon turned into feather-soft kisses down your jaw and throat. you made such pretty noises, all breathy and soft. daichi traveled down your body until he was nestled in between your legs. with practiced ease, he pulled the fabric of your dress upwards and bunched in at your hips. you shied your gaze away from him as your underwear came into his view.

daichi blinked at your apex, unabashed. carefully, scared, he reached out his thumb and pressed down on the growing wet-patch on the flimsy fabric. your back arched at the foreign touch, lips gaping open. daichi noticed your reaction and pressed with more pressure.

"m-move your fingers. in a circle-like motion..." you said, still shy and red from the feeling of your promised knight — who once refused to even kiss you — tease your heat so, so lewdly. focusing on the gentle throbs of your nub and your stuttered breath.

daichi followed your words like they were his holy grail. soon, his fingers used the flimsy fabric to rub 8-figures on your throbbing nub. the muscles in your thighs tensed. daichi looked up at you, "have you done this before? touched yourself...?"

you nodded, curt, "haven't you?"

"i have, but then again i am just a mere commoner. i didn't know princesses found themselves entangled in such..." daichi brought his other hand upwards, pulling at the strap of your dress to let it fall. the fabric cascaded down your skin and exposed the curves of your breast. the bare air teased your nipples taut. your breath slowed as he quickened his fingers. "compromising situations."

you raised an eyebrow, "for just a mere commoner, you sure are in the same bed as me."

"it seems i am." daichi grinned, smug. his nimble fingers pulled the flimsy fabric to the side. the cool, night air kissed your exposed cunt. you whined as his fingers made contact with your flesh. his gaze fixated on your heat — your fluttering, shy hole and enticing clit. "you're... wet."

"i'm aroused." you corrected.

daichi laid in between your thighs, quickly bringing his lips to your cunt. before you could protest, before you could ready yourself for the prospect of your knight burying his face into your heat, he was already lapping at your sex with such vigor.

his eyes met yours, tongue moving up and down in long, fat stripes. you tightened your thighs around his face, head falling back into the thin pillows at the feeling of his hot, wet tongue inside your hole — teasing, probing.

his lips latched around your clit, his fingers coming to circle your entrance. he waited a beat, and you nodded, urging him to do what he should do next. you had read about all of these in those forbidden books. daichi slipped one of his thick fingers in, and then another. your jaw hung open, soundless screams echoing through your body. he began moving his fingers in a pace that complimented the rhythm of his tongue.

one of your hands fisted the sheets, other his hair, "d-daichi."

he hummed around you, his eyes shutting in the ecstasy of your taste on his tongue. in your sex-crazed state, you noticed the soft drivels of his hips rutting into the sheets underneath. he moaned around your sex, the sound of it reverberating to your spine and forcing an orgasm out of you.

your toes curled, eyes rolled back and lips fell open, "i- gosh-!"

your apex stuttered around him, trying to tear apart from his lecherous, devil-like mouth. your knight wrapped his muscled arms around your thighs tighter and kissed your sloppy cunt harder as his ruts grew more needy. your walls clenched around his digits, clamping tight around him till it became hard for him to move them. your essence dribbled out of your cunt, travelling down his hand as you finally rode out of the waves of your orgasm.

you expected sire sawamura to pull up, for him to take off his pants and do as men and women do when they are in love. instead, daichi moved his fingers yet again. you whined, "'s sensitive—!"

daichi let go of your swollen, red clit with a pop. worry overwrote his hazed expression, "does it hurt?"

well, yes. but in a good way. so, you shook your head, "n-no."

"then, let me." with that, the man buried himself into yourself again. no foolish arguments could now stop the man. not until you were orgasming into his mouth again. he drank down your fluids like water, licked up your slit with a ravenous need, and kissed your sensitive bud like it was all but a human need.

after three round of you screaming god's name, daichi finally parted from your pussy — though, rather woefully. he hovered over you and kissed you again, driving his knee against your open cunt for good measure. once your sanity came back to your frayed body, you looked up and him and confessed, "should i not repay your kindness, sire?"

daichi's ears tinged red again, he looked away from you — somewhat embarrassed. your eyes fell to his crotch, where the fabric of his pants were wet now. before you could ask, he confessed, "i- i came undone."

"while..." your eyes widened, "while you were between my thighs?"

he nodded, too embarrassed to utter such pathetic words out loud. though, his eyes met yours and he smiled, "well, i am to serve you. am i not?"

you smiled back, "not anymore. you're not my knight, sire." you met his lips with yours, "you're my husband, it seems."

he grinned against you, "it seems, indeed."

your hand flew to pants, tugging them downwards, "well, then. we shall do what husbands and wives do."

he nodded, solemn, "we must, indeed."

you giggled, tugging the fabric down. needless to say, the night was long and next morning, daichi received a fair complaint from the inn owner about the lack of sleep he got last night because of you and him. all daichi could do was nod and promise not to do it again. he broke the promise the very next night.

━━━☆⭒

age: 21 a far, far away kingdom.

you carefully filled the bucket full of clear water from the shallow river stream. it would take you another fifteen minutes to walk back to your cottage, where no doubt your husband would be cutting the tree branches into careful wooden blocks.

you and daichi had made a life for yourself — a small cottage nearby a stream in a far, far land. he cut trees and sold them in the nearby market, you took interest in botany and made medicinal concoctions in your free time. it was good. it was enough. no amount of gilded thrones and silken dresses could have made you half as happy as this life did.

you gently traced the path you always took, walking back to the hut. as it came into view, you expected the regular view — daichi smiling big as he waited for you. he would be standing with an axe in his hand, standing in front of his table as he chopped wood. instead, you saw... guards. guards in recognizable uniforms. guards from your kingdom.

your eyes widened, the bucket of water slipping from your hands and falling to the soft earth. you ran. your feet struck the forested path as you ran towards your home. daichi. daichi was alone.

your heart hammered in your chest, blood roaring in your ears. your ran, and ran, and ran till the sinews of your legs burned. when you reached your cottage, your voice was hoarse, worn. "DAICHI!"

"there you are, princess." the head guard turned to you with a fake, candied smile. "we have been looking for you for a very, very long time."

there were a pack of ten guards there, all looking at you. but you didn't care. what happened to you didn't matter. instead, you searched for your husband. your frenzied gaze fell to the ground and there you saw sire daichi sawamura — your knight, your protector, your husband — with a growing pool of blood under him. the blood soaked his shirt — the same shirt you had sewed for him. you fell to your knees, crawling to him. mud clung onto your mortal body as you clawed your way to him.

"d-daichi." immediately, you were cradling his body in your lap, uncaring for when the blood tainted your skin and dress. his face was pale, eyes half-shut as he looked up at you. tears welled up in your eyes, lips croaking out syllables that no longer sounded human.

with the least of his energy left, he gave you a smile. bile rose to your throat. you shook your head feverishly, as if that will undo what has happened, "no. no. no. daichi- daichi. please."

he croaked, "p-princess..." and then his body fell limp.

"NO—!" a scream tore through your larynx, you pressed the man to your chest and sobbed, "NO. NO. DAICHI. C-COME BACK."

your husband stayed mute. unresponsive. you sobbed harder, till your tears fell onto his face and you had uttered every iteration of his name into the cursed air.

"take her." you heard the head guard say. foreign, stronger arms came to wrap around your shoulders. you kicked, and cried, and thrashed but it was all futile. so futile. the guards dragged you away from his body, from your daichi's body. screams ripped out of you at the distance, at his lifeless corpse. your daichi — with soulless eyes and agape lips. your daichi — who in his last moments could only call you by your station and prove that he was your servant, forever and evermore.

the head guard ordered around his subordinates, "take the princess. take this man's body too. the king would need proof of his death."

"LET GO OF ME. L-LET ME— DAICHI!" you screamed and cried and thrashed, and repeated the same cycle until the guards knocked you out. next you knew, you were at the palace. they put you in beautiful gowns and extensive makeup, enough to hide your sunken eye sockets and paling face. a gala was to be held — to celebrate your return, and to celebrate the death of the man that had kidnapped you for three long years. sire sawamura became a traitor on the tainted sheets of history — the man who were to protect you, but instead stole you away. sire sawamura — who was a liar. well... he was a liar. wasn't he? he said he'd protect you but he was nowhere to be found now. nowhere to be found in this wretched world.

ah, sire sawamura was indeed a simple man. he knew of his station, of his duty, and of his standing in the royal court. he was allowed to look at you, but never to even dream of you.

sire sawamura was a simple man. he was your personal knight — the one that was to stand by your side, the one that was to protect you, the one that was to always be with you but never ever have you.

but sire sawamura did something that was forbidden, and now there was nothing else to be said.

a.n: NOT PRROFREAD. this might be one of my favs that i've ever written. daichi is SO underappreciated and i know there's like barely 15 people who give a fuck about him so it makes no sense to write such an intensive story but listen, here's the thing, I DON'T CARE. DAICHI SAWAMURA I AM ALWAYS GONNA BE YOUR NUMBER 1. also sorry for the angst :) tagging fellow daichi-enthusiasts: @huhukai @briokayama @lolikestoread @tsukimuta @synd1caate @magicalgirlwithnopowers @chocolatebearstrawberry @champagne-swizzle @crystal-lilac @lxnlian @iicherrycore @hoemegirlriri @ryujinxzyy @mariee-27 @hauszau @ellak419 [you guys commented/reblogged my last daichi fic lol] link to another daichi fic: under the influence!

“aw, is my wittle baby hurt?” he sarcastically asked, you rolled his eyes before shoving an energy drink you brought for him towards his chest.

he took it, eyeing it suspiciously. you snorted at his actions.

“i can be a caring s/o, too.”

“didn’t say anything.” you sighed and sat beside him as he uncapped the drink before taking a sip.

“what’s got you in a bad mood?” he asked sitting down beside you, the volleyball team taking a break as hinata managed to hit tanaka with a ball to the face.

“it’s nothing, really.” you said quietly, the shame of the failed grade overcoming your thoughts once more.

“it can’t be nothing if you’re not spewing sarcastic remarks at me that much,” tsukishima pointed out. you sighed, knowing your boyfriend was right.

“so, what is it?” he asked again. you purse your lips, before letting out yet another sigh.

“remember ms. yuki’s class?” you asked, he nodded.

“so… i may or may not have failed the recent exam.” you said quietly, you think he hasn’t heard you. suddenly, an obnoxiously loud laugh came out from your boyfriend.

“ms. yuki’s class is the easiest. how did you manage to fail that?” that did not help your mood at all. you stayed quiet, not wanting to answer because you fear that this might lead to a fight. and fighting with tsukishima will probably be the cheery on top to your already terrible day.

“look, i just got confused with the terms.” you tried to explain yourself.

“how do you confuse the terms? it’s literally the easiest on that exam.” he continued, still laughing at you.

“did you lie about studying just to impress me again? remember what happened last time?” his words hurt. you spent most of your time trying to understand the lessons. you know you weren’t exactly the smartest, but you know that you understood the lesson.

“hey, (y/n)? did that exam also dumb down your vocabulary? why aren’t you responding?” he continued taunting you.

you clenched your teeth, trying so hard not to show your irritation.

you were already feeling down, and it hurts even more to know that your own boyfriend is invalidating what you feel.

“tsukishima, please shut up.” you muttered, clenching your fist on your bag.

“aw, now you can’t even talk back? come on. it’s not that big of a deal.” yes. it was a big deal to you. the time you spent memorizing and comprehending the lesson went down the drain as a low score on the test paper greeted you made it a big deal.

“i’m sorry, i can’t be as smart as you.” you said in a small voice, wanting nothing more but to curl up in your room and cry all your emotions out.

at this point it wasn’t the bad grade that frustrated you. it was how your own boyfriend can’t read the room and make your mood even shittier than it already was. it was how he, right off the bat, laughed at your struggle and invalidated all the time you spent on the subject.

“i have to go.” you said, standing up.

“there’s only a few minutes before practice ends, wait for me and i’ll walk you home.” tsukishima said, finally looking at you. his eyes widened at the sight of your red face and the tears pooling in your eyes.

he was too absorbed into poking fun with you that he didn’t realize he was the only one left laughing.

“(y/n)-”

“okay! everybody, go back to your positions!” daichi yelled out. tanaka was lying down on the floor in a daze while staring at kiyoko who has her hand holding a bag of ice and holding it down tanaka’s face. you stood up and walked out, your face was seen by sugawara who could only give tsukishima a disappointed look.

it was then he knew that he had gone too far.

when practice ended, he basically ran to the direction of your house. yamaguchi was confused at the uncharacteristic action of his best friend. he yelled a small ‘get home safe’ before walking with the other team members.

tsukishima felt like shit. he knew that his words were aggressive, but he never knew he would push his limit enough to make you feel bad about yourself. it was the last thing he wanted to do.

at the sight of your house, your mother opened the door and saw the distressed look on tsukishima’s face.

“they’re in their room.” was the only thing she said before tsukishima ran to your room and opened it, only to see you sitting slump on your desk, dried tears were on the sides of your face and you were staring blankly at your notes.

“oi.” tsukishima called out, you turned to look at him with a blank look before turning back to your notebook, wanting to ignore his presence in the room.

he strode over to where you were and closed your notebook. placing it somewhere he knows you couldn’t reach.

“tsukishima, give me back my notebook.” you said, he internally flinched at the lack of emotion in your voice.

“your head won’t retain any information if you’re this drained, (y/n). you know this.”

“give me my notebook.”

“no. you need to listen to m-”

“just give me the damned notebook.” you said loudly, before it turned to a soft whimper. “please.”

and with that you broke down into tears. tsukishima almost immediately lifted you up from your position and carried you to your bed.

“please. i need to learn this.”

“you need to rest.” he argued, holding you against his chest, drawing what he thinks are comforting shapes on your back. you shook your head, struggling against his hold.

“i… i just want to be smarter for you.” you said, voice lowering down. tsukishima’s grip on you tightened.

“i already got enough talks about that embarrassing grade. i didn’t need you to press down the wound with salt.” you started.

“i already feel dumb enough as i am. i didn’t need you invalidating me.” you said through your tears, wiping them away harshly.

“god, why am i even crying i-”

“i’m sorry.” tsukishima cut you off. your lips pursed, trying to contain your sobs inside. tsukishima felt like the biggest asshole alive. he never meant to go this far. he should’ve considered your feelings more.

“i’m sorry for invalidating what you feel. i won’t try to justify what i did because i know that as a dick move on my part.” he said, earning a laugh mixed with a sob from you. he rubbed your back before kissing your forehead softly.

“you are one of the most intelligent people i know.”

“shut up.” he continued. you gave him an offended look.

“i didn’t even say anything!” you said, hitting his chest slightly. he flicked your forehead as response.

“i know those words i said a while may seem insensitive.”

“glad you know.” he gave you a look, you pecked his chin. he continued with his narrative.

“but i hope you know i didn’t mean to hurt you. i was laughing with you before i realized that you weren’t laughing with me at all. i’m sorry if i invalidated your opinions.” you knew tsukishima meant every word he said. he was never the type to lie anyway.

you nodded in acceptance to his apology, his hand coming to run through your hair, calming you down in the process.

“tell you what, i’ll help you study tomorrow but for now, let’s just rest your pretty little head.” you smiled at the idea, nodding your head. you wrapped your arm around tsukishima’s neck.

“now go to sleep.” you rolled your eyes but closed your eyes anyway, the steady beat of your boyfriend’s heart lulling you to sleep.

daichi:

daichi dreaded going to the club room early. maybe if he were tardier then he wouldn’t have to be cornered into a hotseat by the team’s idiots. the captain heaved a sigh as the two second years babbled on their ideal types. 

he opened his gym locker, taking off his uniform and replacing it with his practice clothes. once he changed, he saw nishinoya and tanaka staring at him with mischievous grins plastered on their faces. 

“what?” daichi shouldn’t have asked. “it’s not fair you heard about our tastes and you’re all quiet on us, daichi-san!” nishinoya answered, as if he were whining. daichi looked at them with a deadpan expression. 

“why does my type concern you?” tanaka and nishinoya shuddered at the tone their captain sent them, but they weren’t going to stop. they wanted to know if daichi was relatively interested in anyone at all. and their captain’s intimidation isn’t going to stop them from knowing so. 

“come on, daichi-san! surely someone like you has a type.” nishinoya urged on, the door of the clubroom opened, revealing sugawara and asahi who were chatting amongst themselves. daichi thought he could finally breathe a sigh of relief, knowing the conversation would shift into a new topic. 

sadly, he was wrong as sugawara asked why the second year duo were staring at the captain. 

“we just want to know the captain’s type! suga-san, do you know?” nishinoya risked asking the vice-captain, and to daichi’s displeasure, sugawara gave back a mischievous grin. 

“i don’t think-” asahi started before effectively getting cut off by sugawara slapping a hand over his mouth. “of course i do!” sugawara gleefully said. 

daichi sighed, knowing he couldn’t shut the vice-captain up.

“so, so?” tanaka and nishinoya said in tandem, making the vice-captain laugh. “well. i don’t want to get into detail, but… your captain loves something he can grab in front.” sugawara winked, the second years both tilted their heads in confusion. not getting sugawara’s innuendo. 

ennoshita, who came in a few seconds ago sighed at the dumb second years. “he means he likes people with big bre-” “don’t ruin the fun!” sugawara tsked. ennoshita rolled his eyes before getting ready for practice. 

nishinoya and tanaka both looked at each other before letting out a sound of understanding. “oh, so like… michimiya?”

“are the three of you done?” daichi’s voice made the team shiver, not knowing if they went a bit too far. but apparently, nishinoya didn’t get the hint. 

“you didn’t deny it, daichi-san!” “get to practice, now.” the team took his statement as confirmation that he indeed had a type and nishinoya and tanaka were going to make the most out of it. 

like schoolgirls, they skipped out of the club room, giggling amongst themselves. unbeknownst to them, you were by the door, waiting to give something to daichi. 

you heard every single detail, you didn't mean to. but this was nishinoya and tanaka we’re talking about, it was bound to get loud eventually. 

“oh, (y/n)-san! i didn’t notice you there.” nishinoya waved, daichi froze as he went out of the door to see you smiling back at him. he hopes that you didn’t hear the conversation. 

the two of you decided to keep it lowkey afterall. it was a mutual decision, surely you couldn’t blame him that he didn’t confirm nor deny their suspicions, right?

“hey, noya, tanaka.” you nod at them, they smiled at you with lovestruck gazes before skipping away in awe. 

“uh… hey. what brings you here?” daichi asked, closing the door behind him. you smiled before gesturing to some club reports he forgot by his desk. daichi let out a sigh of relief at the sight of them.

“thank you, (y/n). would you wanna watch the practice?” daichi asked, you smiled softly and shook your head. “i’d love to, but (f/n) is waiting for me, we have a project to get to.” you explained, daichi nodded in understanding before looking around. 

seeing no one in sight, he placed a quick peck on your lips and pulled you into a swift hug. “text me when you get home, love.” you smiled once more before nodding and walking away. 

somehow, daichi felt as if something was wrong. 

-

the following weeks, daichi couldn’t help but question the sudden shift in your eating habits. you began drinking more milk, and eating more nuts and soybean. not only that, but you’ve been reluctantly eating more papaya. and you hated papaya. 

it was a rest day from practice, daichi decided to spend his resting time with you. because not only does he miss spending time with you, but he can tell that something was clearly wrong. 

he could only hope it wasn’t because of that conversation. 

but for now, he’s content with holding you in his arms. 

“hey, baby. can you stand up real quick? i just need to use the bathroom.” you state, he nods and sits up sleepily. you peck his forehead before walking off to your said location. 

to pass time, daichi fished for his phone, unknowingly taking yours and opening it with his fingerprint. he should’ve realized that it wasn’t his phone that he was currently holding. 

‘how to grow breast size?’ daichi’s eyes bulged at the incognito tab that appeared once he opened the surfing browser. with curiosity, he viewed the other tabs that were related to enlarging breasts. from myths to actual helpful tips. 

that was then he realized. you heard. 

no wonder your diet suddenly shifted. you were following some site that said so. daichi couldn’t help but feel guilty, now confirming that you heard the conversation for weeks. 

“daichi?” he almost dropped your phone from shock. you were standing there, staring at your phone in his hand. 

“uh...” “i think we need to talk.” 

you nod, sitting at the same couch with a small amount of distance. 

“i heard.” you started, not looking at him. daichi heaved out a sigh, not knowing what to say. 

“i do think that you and michi-” “none of that.” he sharply said, effectively shutting you up. daichi seemed to realize that his tone came off as harsh before sighing softly and taking your hand in his. 

“look. please know i didn’t say anything just to shut them up.” daichi tried explaining, you nod, but the both of you knew you weren’t convinced. 

“love, i’m not dating you because of your body.” he starts, snaking his hand in between the both of you to hold yours. “i could care less about how you look, much less your breast size. it doesn’t matter to me.” 

“i love you just as you are. you don’t need to change anything, especially just to fit in my standards.” daichi continued, tears were pricking in your eyes. you didn’t know what to say, you only endured this because you wanted daichi to be proud to be seen with you. 

“i’m sorry that you had to hear that.” daichi raised your hand to his lips before placing a soft peck on your knuckles. “i’m sorry for not confronting you about it.” you whisper. daichi shook his head at your words. 

“no, love. i should’ve realized something was wrong when you began changing your eating habits weeks ago.” you smiled softly, feeling lighter than before.

“i love you, (y/n).” “i love you more, baby.” you sigh, letting yourself fall in his embrace. 

“does this mean i can stop eating those godforsaken papayas?” you asked with a small voice, causing daichi to laugh at your statement and peck your forehead. 

“you never had to eat them in the first place, love.”

"do you think we'll get to grow old together, daichi?" you asked him softly, head resting on his shoulder and fingers intertwined with his. "yeah. i absolutely think so."

the orange and red sunset was on display right in front of you two as waves crashed and the smell of the beach lingered all around. it was one of daichi's rare days off, and you two spent it at the beach, swimming in the ocean, sunbathing, playing beach volleyball, and just treasuring your time together.

the two of you had just gotten married a month ago, and you were living the life as newly weds: loads of meetups with friends and family, countless presents for both of you, and most importantly, being able to officially know that you were each other's. for life.

even before you'd gotten married, though, you already had a feeling things were going to end up like this. after all, it had been love at first sight for both of you. when you'd first met at karasuno high school, on a completely random tuesday, entirely by accident, both of you had stopped right in your tracks. stepped to the right at the same time. bowed and apologized slightly. stepped to the left at the same time. and laughed in the exact same way.

since then, you'd gone on tons of dates, confessed to each other hundreds of times, and reminded each other of what it meant to be fully, deeply, and truly loved more times than you could count. you were teased by the karasuno boys volleyball team relentlessly at first, but it was those same people who'd had front row seats at your wedding. your family had initially doubted whether this seemingly serious man was good for a girl like you, but they were the ones who gave the longest speeches about daichi.

you had so many plans for the future, plans to start a family, to buy a cozy little landed house, to get exactly 2 dogs and one cat, and to continue making time for each other, no matter what life tried to throw at the two of you. and every time you looked down at your left ring finger, you felt a thrill go through you at the thought that you would in fact get to make all those dreams of yours come true. you'd get to live every moment alongside your husband, taking your sweet time to enjoy all of it-

"hmm, now what's on your pretty little mind, sweetheart?" he murmured against your hair, planting a soft kiss at the top of your head. you giggled softly in response, realizing you'd just been silent. "nothing, nothing. just wondering what dog breed you want for our two dogs." he hummed in thought, but you already knew what he wanted. you'd talked about it before countless times. "one german shepherd and one golden retriever." you immediately grinned as he gave the answer you'd already heard over and over. "perfect."

right after, you'd fallen back into a comfortable silence, watching the sun fully set and feeling the cool evening air hit your skin. there was no place you'd rather be. and you'd gladly spend every evening of the rest of your life here with him, watching every sunset just like this.

*genuinely if you dont want angst stop reading here*

it hadn't even been 3 weeks since that date when you received a phone call you wouldn't ever, ever recover from. "hello, is this mrs. sawamura?" "yes, it is. do you need something?" you heard a long sigh over the phone. "...i'm so sorry to tell you this, ma'am. i need you to do your very best to stay calm, we have people coming over as we speak. know that we're doing everything we can right now, but your husband was caught in the crossfire during an ambush-" you never heard the rest of it. you didn't have to. your phone slipped through your hands, and the next thing you knew, you were laying on your bed, officers and family around you, lying about how 'it's all okay' and all you needed was to 'just breathe'. what utterly useless lies.

it was just over a month since the phone call you'd received in the middle of the night, and you were back where your therapist and grief counselor told you not to visit obsessively. it was a little too late for that. you'd brought yet another bouquet to lay down at his grave, and as you did that, you realized one thing: you had lied. and daichi had lied as well. you wouldn't grow old together. sure, you might, but he wouldn't. he would stay the same age. tomorrow. and the day after. and every single day after that. he'd left you to grow old on your own, and there was nothing you could do to bring him back.

★ daichi probably did that typical guy thing where he tried to logically solve your problem instead of listening and supporting you emotionally, which just pissed you off beyond belief. he'll just sit there, unsure of what to do for a few moments, anxiously looking between you and the road. "what did i do? come on sweetheart, don't be like that..." when you get back home he stops you and makes sure to make it up to you and apologize with a much-needed hug.

★ iwaizumi tries not to let his anger get the best of him but sometimes when he's pissed off, it's hard and he'll just growl out curt responses and unintentionally be rude. when you ignore him because of that on the way home, the reality sets in and he feels real bad. he's awkwardly stiff as silence engulfs the two of you in the car. he calls out your name hesitantly soft and stops you before you get out, so he can apologize.

★ kuroo is very observant. and because of that, he knows exactly what to point out to strike a nerve. if he's had a long day, and he's annoyed, it's easy for him to speak without thinking. he did exactly that earlier and he realized when he noticed the look of disbelief in your eyes as you nodded slowly and walked to the car ahead of him. he called your name softly but you didn't respond, instead choosing to keep walking. he'd said enough. he sits in the car silently for a moment, internally panicking, not even starting the car yet. he doesn't want an awkward, tense car ride back home so he apologizes immediately, taking one of your hands in his, celebrating in his head when he turns your cheek and you let him.

★ sakusa was in a bad mood and made a somewhat rude comment to you, it was moreso the tone that offended you. and since he was wearing his mask, you couldn't tell that he had a regretful look on his face until you got to the car. his fingers are tapping against the steering wheel anxiously as you sit there silently next to him, body turned completely to the window. it takes him a little while to work up the courage to apologize, just cause he's so nervous and he hates when he makes you upset. but he always sorts things out with you, he can't sleep otherwise.