#dahrling

[ ... ] ❛ ❛ i had a fairly good idea of what life would hold for me, & much like you, i didn't want it. ❜ ❜

out   of   breath,   lungs   aching   with   frantic   exertion   [ ... ]   alice   glances   left   &   right,   searching   desperately   for   any   sign   of   the   brilliant   blue   butterfly   she's   chased   from   the   gardens.   with   wendy   left   behind   in   a   sudden   flurry   of   rambled   excusals,   the   blonde   now   stands   in   the   center   of   a   sitting   area   carved   from   flowering   hedge   bushes   —   utterly   alone.   no   wendy,   no   absolem,   no   rabbit   hole.   alice   wants   to   scream   —   wants   to   feel   it   tear   her   throat   raw.   distraught,   she   falls   to   a   seat   upon   one   of   the   benches   [ ... ]   glassy   eyes   staring   off   into   the   distance.   (   you'll   never   make   it   back.   it   was   never   even   real   to   begin   with,   was   it   ?   )   countless   horrid   thoughts,   once   her   only   company   in   the   institute,   now   come   flooding   back   like   a   tidal   wave.   she   doesn't   consciously   hear   wendy   catching   up   to   her,   only   looking   up   when   the   other   woman's   voice   breaks   the   silence.   she's   a   needle's   breadth   away   from   shedding   the   hot tears   that   pool   beneath   beryl   eyes,   gazing   up   at   wendy   with   a   look   of   defeat.   ❛ ❛   i   thought   i   saw   ...   ❜ ❜   eyes   squeeze   shut,   alice   burying   her   head   between   hands   –   fingers   tangling   amidst   blonde   curls.   ❛ ❛   oh,   well,   nevermind   what   i   thought.   it   was   foolish to begin with.   ❜ ❜

“It’s not too much, is it?” If she was going to find a proper husband, Honoria needed to look the part of a proper debutante. Her looks needed to outweigh her family’s scandalous reputation, and her debut needed to outshine her brother’s crimes. “Mama said pink is fashionable now, but I adore this shade of blue. It suits me better, don't you think?"

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐄 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐒 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐄𝐍. having to be present someone she did not want to be for the sake of appearances, for the sake of being seen--even at the side of her sickly, aging husband. viserys did his best, she knew, but the longer times goes on ... the more ill he becomes ... the more anxiety that arises inside of alicent. ( rhaenyra is her fathers chosen heir, a decision she had backed even before becoming queen. yet, alicent knew her father. she knew he'd scheme & plot even if it were years in the making. what could she even do to stop him or could she ? ) feasts were loud, congested with people, & alicent often felt like some other version of herself who smiles, her pretends to love her king, & as someone who is not screaming on the inside. ❛ excuse me, my darling. i would like to see some of our guests ... ❜ alicent excuses herself from the table, making sure to kiss viserys on the temple before leaving. with glass in hand, brown eyes set on the first person she sees. a woman, someone surely new to court. ❛ good evening, my lady. how are you finding the ... festivities tonight ? ❜

"Sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you've been ruined."