#daddy rant

My little round wife and I have tumblr accounts and I follow a lot of soon-to-be-dads, like me. And see mumblr blogs. I notice many of them have spurts of confidence then they post a long thing about how they don't know what they are doing and are just freaking out. What worries me is, not the fact that they are freaking out; it is the fact that they, they have horrible taste in "baby mommas" and they talk about excessive drug and alcohol use.

Now, I know there is a certain mentality a person must have, to publicly display every nook and cranny of their life online. But, you are on a “daddy blog” meant for you to post things like “my daughter had a blow out, I am proud of her” or “I haven’t slept for eight days straight, and the stuffed giraffe looks bewildered by my five o’ clock shadow.”

The thought of these little brats thinking they are impressing someone like me, is entertaining. In real life I am not impressed by a parent who can't keep a job that a temp agency, or the jfs helped you get. I am not impressed that you can't see your child because baby momma won't let you. It's a new age, laws have become progressive, two men can adopt a child, I am pretty sure that a guy with his shit together can get custody of his kid, most of the time. When life seems to beat them down they escape to substance abuse. I assume their thought is "Well, if I can't see my child, or I can't take care of them why not waste my last $20 on myself and get f'ed."

Future dads out there need to not go out and get a recess from reality. Some dads need to come back down to earth and get their stuff in order. When you have a child, it is time for you to stop being a manchild. Grow up, grow a pair and maybe your kid, your baby momma and your family might give two shits about your feelings.

Father's day.

I fucking hate father's day. But that's probably because I have a father, just not a dad. I want to mend all of our issues, I want to tell him that I hate him and love him and miss him all at the same time.

How do you say, "hey father, haven't seen you in eleven years because you're selfish and your wife is a morbidly obese, controlling, cunt. Hope your father's day is great, and that you enjoy celebrating it with children that aren't even yours, while your three blood related kids are all hours away." Yeah, it'll end up in a facebook message, saying "Happy Father's Day." No I love you's," no "Thank you sweetie's," and especially not an "I miss you."

I mean honestly, I get that I only knew you in your alcoholic, abusive phase. I understand that things are different now. But I wish that you could understand that just because you're sober and you're a good dad to your other children, doesn't mean that all is right in the world.

I guess I'm going to just be sitting here waiting for an apology that will never come until I finally get the balls to fly out to your house and stand on your front doorstep saying, "I need to tell you how I've been feeling all of these years."