#dadddyyyyyyy

Tagged: @x0babymeganx0

A/N: sooo, this is part two. in this, we see a softer side of Joker’s. I feel like this is a little out of character for him since I’ve never really seen his soft side. I’m pretty sure he does have one but not like this lol I decided not to write a summary for this since its in the first one and I can’t write one without spoiling the story, ah! there will be a part three. I know how you guys hate to wait but it bothers me how long it’s going to be for some reason haha! but don’t hate meeee, anyway, hope you enjoy. this part is dark too.

Warnings: swearing, sexual abuse, surgery

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y/n wakes up. she had a bad dream. she couldn’t really remember what it was but she was sweating and panting. it was about 3 am. J woke up to her panting.

“are you all right?” he said as he tried to grab her shoulder. she flinched. her eyes are filled with tears.

“I—im fine, I just had a bad dream.” she said, with her eyes closed, inhaling and exhaling. “my head kinda hurts.” she whined.

J gets up and goes downstairs to go get her some aspirin and water. he comes back and she’s sobbing. he sighs and walks over to her side of the bed and sits on the edge as he sets down the stuff her got her on the night stand.

“what’s wrong, doll?” he says, stroking her hair. she instantly feels disgusted. not with Mr. J but with herself.

“no, please, don’t touch me..” she sobs, backing away.

“are you still mad? y/n, just let me explain—”

“no!” she sniffled. “I’m still very upset with you but that’s not why— look, I can’t explain but just please leave me alone.” she says, still crying and looking away.

J’s non existent eyebrows furrow. he gets up to get a pillow and blanket and walks out slamming the door. he didn’t think he made her that upset. he walks downstairs to the living room to go to sleep on the couch.

————————————————

its been over two months now. there has been tension between them every day since that night. he’s hardly ever home because he’s out looking for the guy who fucked her up. he’s destroyed every place in Gotham trying to look for him. whenever he tried to stay home so he can be with her, she refused to be around him. she remembered everything and decided to forgive him after he explained himself. she was tired of being mad anyway. she hasn’t told him about the rape so she’s been dealing with it herself. she doesn’t want Mr. J looking for the guy either because she just wants to forget about it. she knows if she tells him, it’ll be a whole lot worse. she’s not very comfortable around any guy anymore. not even J. the house is always filled with men, so she usually stays in the room now. it always bothered J how she acted around him or his henchmen but he never said anything. until now.

J decided that he wanted to celebrate a huge heist that went perfect. he thought he and y/n needed to loosen up a bit. he wanted to get her happy again so he thought a night out would cheer her up a bit. he decided to make dinner reservations at a 5 star restaurant. of course, he still has most of his guys looking for the scumbag but he wanted to take a break.

“y/n, darling?” he knocked on the bedroom door.

“come in.” her voice was barely audible.

“I have a surprise for you, baby.” he grins, approaching the bed to sit on the edge.

she was buried under the bed sheets reading a book.

her eyes lit up.

“what is it?” she said, closing the book as she sits up.

“just get dressed and meet me downstairs, doll.” he replied.

he reached out to stroke her face but she flinched and back away. she frowns and looks down.

Instantly, J becomes pissed off.

“what has gotten into you?” he growled as he got up. he smoothed his hair down roughly. “I haven’t been able to touch you for weeks! you know, I have needs, y/n. your kidnapping happened weeks ago, why are you still acting like this?!” he shouts.

y/n wanted to cry but she held the tears back and replaced her sadness with anger. she gets up and starts shouting too.

“are you fucking kidding me? do you really think I’d be over this in a fucking month or two? it was TRAUMATIZING, J!” her eyes filled up with tears. “this shit could take YEARS! you don’t want to deal with it? you don’t fucking have to! go get yourself someone that can actually fulfill your needs, someone that didn’t go through what I did, make shit easier on yourself!” she spat. she was panting from how angry she was.

“you know what?!—”

before he can say anything else, she starts to feel nauseous. J notices and pauses. she feels her stomach acting up and runs to the bathroom. she starts throwing up whatever she ate earlier and the day before. J followed her and stayed in the door way. it was pretty bad. the smell and sight of vomit just made her want to throw up more.

“What the fuck is going on, y/n?” he asked, in the midst of her throwing up.

she finished and flushed the toilet.

“I-I..” she said, trying not to break her voice.

“just say it, god damn it!” he growled.

she gets up infuriated.

“I WAS RAPED, OKAY? RAPED! THERE! YOU HAPPY?!” she shouted, bursting out in tears. she puts down the toilet seat aggressively and sits on it.

J calms down in an instant. he felt bad. he didn’t know what to do. so many questions came to mind but only one stood out. there was a long awkward pause between them until J finally decided to ask her.

“…are you pregnant?” he growled low.

y/n is still sobbing her eyes out. she’s sitting her the elbow on her lap and palm on her forehead. she took a test a few weeks before and went to the doctor’s to make sure. she was pregnant. she was trying to hide it from J until she can figure something out but it’s far too late now. she ignores his question and continues crying.

J walked up to her, to grab her face so he forces her to look at him. she flinched but he didn’t care this time. he stared into her bloodshot eyes filled with tears.

“answer me.” he snarled.

she nods. she doesn’t think he caught that but he did. his face flushed. he was shaking with rage. he releases y/n aggressively.

“I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch.” he growled.

“can you please stop?! I just want to forget about the whole thing. just drop it. stop fucking looking for him. stop fucking doing this.” she said, as she got up to get in his face.

he laughs.

“I wasn’t talking about the scumbag that did this to you.” he said, glaring at her stomach. “now he’s going to have it way worse.”

her heart instantly drops to her stomach.

“you wouldn’t.. you wouldn’t hurt me.” she said with her voice breaking, clutching her stomach.

“who said I was going to hurt you?” he whispered.

“you’re not hurting my baby, J. I swear, you try anything and I’ll leave! try me.” she snarled.

“are you serious, y/n? you’re planning on keeping that thing?” he said, raising his voice after every word. “you don’t want me looking for the asshole because you want to forget about it but yet you’re keeping the damn spawn? that little shit is going to be a constant reminder, y/n, you’ll be a mess. come on, you’re smarter than that.” he replied.

“it’s not the baby’s fault!—”

“that’s not the point! you’re so naive. it’s a baby conceived by rape. how are you gonna explain that to the kid, huh?! come on, tell me!” he shouted.

she stood quiet. she didn’t know what to say or do but cry.

“I’m not going to explain or say anything to it.” she whispered.

“then what are you gonna do? I’m not gonna act like the father, that’s for damn sure—”

“IM NOT ASKING YOU TO, OKAY?!” she yelled.

he stood quiet. he’s never seen her this mad or stressed. he was still very upset.

“I don’t want to get rid of it, J.” she said softly. “it’s not the baby’s fault.” she sniffled.

J finally feels sympathetic for her and hugs her, letting her sob into his chest.

“all I wanted was your support! y-you don’t know what it was like!” she sobbed. “it’s been so hard and I’ve been dealing with this alone!” she cried harder.

whilst holding her, he takes her to the bed so they can sit.

“baby, I’m sorry. i didn’t mean to yell at ya. I’m just stressed and you have no idea how hard I’ve been trying to make you happy.” he said, putting a piece of her hair behind her ear. “you don’t have to deal with this alone anymore. I’m here now.” he said, kissing her forehead.

she feels calmer now.

she sniffled. “thank you, J. it means a lot.” she goes in for a soft kiss.

“as for the baby, darling..” he sighed.

she rolls her eyes. she feels herself tense up again.

“I don’t do this very often but I’m begging you..” she looks her straight in the eye. “don’t keep it.”

“but, J!” she begins crying again.

he shuts his eyes and sighs deeply through his nose. she can tell he’s trying to control his anger.

“look, I know you’ve always wanted a baby. me? I just want to see you happy.” he puts his hand on her shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. “ this baby,” he paused to a second, trying to find the write words to explain himself. “isn’t going to make you happy. it’s going to make you miserable. trust me. it’s just a constant reminder.” he continued. “I don’t want to see you like this every day. I care about you, doll. but if you think it’ll make you happy, then keep it. the only reason it’ll be here, it’s because it’s yours too. i hope you don’t expect me to act fatherly towards it because I won’t. it’s not mine and it will never be. do I make myself clear?” he said, low and slow.

his mouth said keep it, but his eyes were saying something else.

he tilted her head up by lifting it with his index finger. she pulls away and nods with tears still in her eyes.

“good.” he whispers, kissing her softly.

he gets up and leaves the room so they can both calm down. maybe it worked for J but it didn’t work for y/n. he decided to cancel the dinner since he wasn’t really up for it.

after he left, she cried really hard. she didn’t know what to do. she wanted J to be happy too and she knew keeping her baby wouldn’t keep him happy. she decided to call a free clinic to make an appointment for an abortion.

’anything for him.’ she thought to herself.

the appointment was the next morning. she got up to get ready for bed. she brushed out her hair, brushed her teeth, and washed her face. when she was done, she set an alarm and crawled back into bed causing her to fall fast asleep.

————————————————

the next morning she woke up to her alarm. she didn’t see any sign of J anywhere. she got up and got in the shower. she took her time in the shower since she needed time to relax. the warm water running down her body helped her. when she got out, she dried her self up. she wrapped her towel around her body and walked out of the bathroom to look for some clothes to wear. she decided to wear casual clothing. black jeans and a black t shirt with combat boots. she got herself dressed then blow dried her hair. once it was dry, she braided it to the side and loosened it a bit. she moved onto her makeup and that’s when she started feeling nervous. she stared at herself in her vanity mirror.

’you gotta do this. if not for you, do it for J.’

she repeated this statement in her head countless times before continuing. she held back her tears and put on a bit of foundation. she added a light contour with some green highlight that you’d only be able to tell its green in a bright light. she winged her eyeliner and added mascara with a nude lip. she was ready.

she went downstairs to see if the coast was clear from Mr. J. everyone was gone except the housekeepers.

“hey, um, do you know where J went? or when he’ll be back?” she asked a maid.

“I don’t, I’m sorry, miss.” she replied, trying not to make eye contact.

y/n sighed. “thanks, anyway. um, I’ll be back in a few hours, okay? if he asks, just tell him I’m at the clinic.” she says with a half smile.

the maid hesitantly nods and gets back to work.

y/n exhaled and made her way out the door. she thought about taking her car but she wouldn’t be able to drive back after the procedure so she decided to call a taxi.

when she arrived at the clinic she started to tense up again. in the waiting room, she kept repeating the statement in her head again. she was interrupted when a nurse called her name.

“y/n l/n?”

she got up and followed the nurse.

they weighed her, took her blood pressure, and checked her temperature. the nurse then put her in a room where she can wait for a doctor to finish up his current patient. the nurse asked y/n some medical questions. after every answer, she would write it out on the computer.

“are you allergic to anything?”

“no.” click—type—click.

“have you had any type of surgery before?”

“don’t think so.” click—type—click.

“are you taking any medication?”

“no, not anymore. I use to take fluxotine for depression.” click—type—click.

“what’s the reason for having an abortion?”

“I was, uh, raped. my boyfriend doesn’t want it and neither do I.” she replied, holding back her tears.

the nurse looks at her.

click—type—click.

she rolls her chair towards y/n.

“I know this was a very hard decision to make. but you’ll get through it. having an abortion does not make you a bad person at all. I’m sorry this happened to you.” the nurse hands her a card. “this is a 24 hour hot-line for young adults are dealing with this type of stuff. call it whenever you want, if you need to talk to anyone about anything, okay? if you need to get back on your anti depressants then you should schedule an appointment with your doctor.” she said putting her hand on her shoulder. “the doctor will be here for you shortly.” she said with a half smile.

y/n nods and the nurse gets up and leaves.

the nurse left a gown for her to get into for when the doctor arrived. y/n got out of her clothes and into the gown. she waited for the doctor for about half an hour. she was starting to get anxious again but then the doctor came in and interrupted her thoughts.

“hello, I’m Dr. Parker. you must be..” he paused. “y/n.” she smiled.

she seemed friendly.

“um, yeah.”

“alright, do you have any questions before we start?” she asked.

“..is it gonna hurt?…” y/n hesitantly asked.

“well you have a choice to be fully awake and aware during the procedure or we can put you on heavy anesthetic. due to how far along you are, we have to give you a surgical removal. afterwards, it’ll just feel like you’re on your period. alright?”

she nods. “I just want to be on general anesthetic the whole time if that’s okay.”

“sure thing. I’m gonna have to give you a shot before we start then. lie on your back.” she smiled.

once she injected y/n, she started getting sleepy.

“alright, you won’t feel a thing, okay? just relax and go to sleep.”

y/n fell asleep as Dr. Parker moved onto the procedure.

thanks to the tablet she place between y/n’s legs earlier, it made everything go easy. the doctor placed an instrument through the neck of the womb and suctioned everything out clean. it took about more than half an hour to finish.

when she was done, she noticed y/n starting to open her eyes.

“is—is it done?” y/n slurred.

“yes, now I’ll just have a nurse escort you to the recovery room, okay? she’ll have your clothes and everything. it was a pleasure meeting you, y/n.”

the same nurse from earlier helps her get up and walk to the recovery room. she laid her down. y/n was still seeing things pretty blurry. the anesthetic took 20 mins to wear off a little bit. the nurse offered her something to drink or a snack but she declined. she felt terrible. but she knew she did the right thing. the nurse gave her pain killers for the “cramps” as they called it. once the anesthesia completely wore off, the nurse helped her get dressed and called a taxi for her. she escorted her out and helped her into the car. she gave y/n a bottle of pain killers before doing so.

the taxi took her to her house which was a long drive. it was still early in the day so she assumed J wasn’t home yet. she was wrong.