Sometimes change is a bigger fear than one would like to admit. Of course, I would like to go about my business as if I’m invincible or somehow on the same level as Captain America, but I’m not. I’m human and change is pretty scary. What’s even worse if not even attempting it, you know, to see if it actually works. My father always told me if I didn’t get out by 25, I wasn’t ever getting out. Well, I found my way out.
If there’s even a small possibility of the change being positive, fuckin cling to it. Don’t suffocate it or it’ll burn out. Nurse it at first, see how your bones feel before deciding. And my bones felt pretty good about packing it up to the other side of the country. Some could call it crazy, some could call it stupid. I call it just right. This change spreads beyond me, it spreads my roots farther than I could of imagined. I can see myself staying here. I can see myself starting over and welcoming a state of contentment back into my life. After my divorce, content is all a man can ask for. I’m not in search of a bigger happiness, I’m in search of something more. Something more within myself. I can see myself thriving in the business world and in the world of being a father. Two very different roots that have to have balance.
Maybe a man wants balance as well, what’s so wrong with that?
