I've missed this little family so much but I'm still feeling the writers block and life stresses big time...
So I thought I would try to get back to them through a Tiny Moments series. These will just be short little snippets of day-to-day moments between Reader, Cassian and Ottie (and maybe a few guests along the way)
As always, I'm open to suggestions so let me know if there's any particular moments you would like to see.
Enjoy 🥰
You can read the previous part here
The quiet moments were your most cherished; they were the ones that you never thought would matter before finding yourself so wholly in love with the little family you had joined and could no longer imagine yourself without.
Those quiet moments around the breakfast table where you were all too tired to speak. The ones where Cassian would all but grunt in acknowledgement when handing you your coffee, eyes still half closed; or when Ottie would cover her mouth when yawning, toast still in hand, accidentally spearing raspberry jam across her face. These were the moments when you would sit next to Cassian, leaning against him and gratefully taking a bite of the perfectly buttered toast he would hold out for you.
Some mornings when the frost was crisp across the lawn and the touch of night still lingered across the sky, these quiet moments tended linger. The three of you would slowly wake up together, life and energy beginning to recirculate through the bump of a hip as you and Cassian brushed your teeth side-by-side, or through the soft giggles that echoed down the hallway as Ottie showed off the mismatched outfit she had picked out all by herself.
It was in these moments, when words weren’t needed and small glances were shared, that the house seemed full to the brim with love and fondness; like when your eyes met Cassian’s in the mirror as he braided Ottie’s hair, the ever-growing 4-year-old humming absentmindedly to herself as she swayed on the spot. Or when Cassian would glance back at the house before leaving for work, knowing you and Ottie would still be standing in the doorway waving him off.
Tomorrow it would be the same, the sleepy grunts, the jam-smeared cheeks, the warmth of Cassian’s shoulder against yours. Tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. And in those quiet, simple, seemingly insignificant moments, you found everything you had ever wanted and more.
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Annnnnd- my first post for @cassianappreciationweek is a go! If you prefer AO3- you can see the story here.
Summary: Cassian just being a dad- with some sweet fluff about the traditions that he has built for his family over the years.
Rating: G
Genre: Fluff
Cassian took a step back and admired his work- the dining room decorations were complete. Nesta thought he was childish for decorating for every Prythian holiday, but he wanted their daughter to have this. He wanted her to have memories of him that made her smile. His family, his brothers had shown him what family could really be and he wanted for her to never doubt that her father would rend apart this world to protect her. And then there was Nesta, a shiver went through his body as he thought through what his mate would do if harm ever befell their daughter.
As he moved through the House of Wind, the hallways draped with decorations- he made his way towards his daughter’s room. The last area he decorated in case she woke up earlier during the night, so that the decorations would still be a surprise. This stemmed from the years where she would run screaming for their bedroom at the slightest sound and he would scoop her up in his arms to read her a book and give her some warm milk, comforting her worries away. As she grew, he kept the tradition.
He strung strands of faelights high on the walls, hovering to place them in the perfect spots. His sleepless night was absolutely worth it as he placed the pink and gold garland that currently reflected his daughter’s favorite colors. Even if he had had to get the information from Elain, because he was no longer the ‘cool’ dad, which was fine by him. He wanted the boys that had started to come to their doorsteps to be slightly intimidated by him. He placed the finishing touches- birthday breakfast- in front of her door and then moved to the nearest balcony. Where he could greet his daughter on her birthday, but give her the space that she had begun to ask for in the last year.
He stared towards the horizon, where the faintest pinks had begun to play across the sky. Seventy years, it had taken them seventy years of trying for Nesta to get pregnant the first time and another fifteen years before Furia had been born. He had almost given up on the idea of children, it had killed him to watch what each loss did to Nesta. Furia was the happiest of accidents to ever happen in their lives. A few hours ago- she had turned 18.
A hand settled on his back and he smiled as Nesta wiggled her way into his arms, joining him in staring out over Velaris. They had known peace in recent years, but the difficulties of his life made him grateful for every morning like this. Quiet days with his family, away from the needs of Rhys’ army.
A squeal went up in the corridor, as he gave Nesta a knowing look and a quick kiss. Furia had found the Valkyrie armor that signified her training would be allowed to move to the next level. It killed him to think of his daughter being in harm’s way, but Feyre had reminded him that not training her at all would be far worse. She was a target, all of their children were and that meant training from the time they could walk. Furia’s temper and stubbornness leading her towards following more directly in his footsteps than in her mother’s. The idea of her entering the Blood Rite made his blood run cold, but he would not deny her that if it was what she truly wanted.
“Eighteen pancakes, Cass?”
“Like always- although this might be the first year she doesn’t inhale them.”
Furia sprinted out onto the balcony and tackle hugged the both of them, her broad smile so much like her father’s. Her hair and eyes like her mother’s. The wings that were still perfectly functional flapping with her joy. She would never be clipped- the one tradition that Cassian refused to participate in. No- his wild daughter needed to be able to fly and run and experience the world exactly as she had been born into it. The way that so many Illyrian females had never been able to experience the world.
When Nyx went to the mountains to train, to learn the Illyrian fighting style- it had nearly killed Feyre. The brutality of the Illyrian fae had been hard for her to stomach, even with Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel checking in on him at regular intervals. He had seen a glimpse of what was to come for him and what he assumed would be his son. Instead his fiery daughter stood in front of him ready to embrace a tradition that haunted him.
Furia had begged to follow in her cousin’s footsteps and much like her mother and aunt- she was a fierce fighter. Valkyrie training was the obvious compromise, but now she was to prepare for the Blood Rite and his entire being rebelled against the idea. Nesta had been taken against her will, but this- this was Furia’s choice. And as he saw the fire and excitement in her eyes, he knew that the only thing that might hold her out of the rite was passing the qualifications. Which she had successfully done at age sixteen, but she did not know that.
“I’m flying down to see Nyx and the twins- they’ll flip over this armor. I’ll be back for birthday dinner- I promise.”
“Go wild-heart and happy birthday.”
Furia launched into the sky, a peal of laughter filling the air and he smiled as Nesta reached up and wiped a tear from his cheek. He hoped she would stay this wild. He hoped that she would stay so in love with life, so safe that she did not understand the real combat that could come from becoming all of the things that she wished to be. It was foolish to hope, but Prythian was enjoying its peace and he would enjoy every tradition he could until he was called back to defend it.
While I get back into the swing of writing again (thank you for all the requests they’re fab!!) what’s everyone’s thoughts on me doing some more one-shot type pieces for Tiny Toes? I’m stuck on the plot and chronological part of it but love this little family so much and have a heap of little ideas in mind…
While we are at it, I know it’s been a minute (*cough*months*cough*) and I will go through my inbox, but what do you want to see in Tiny Toes?
More Than A Moment: Part 3 - Cassian x Reader (AU!)
Wow! This is record time for me. Who knew the crushing weight of needing to do literally everything and anything else would be such great writing inspo!
Read part 2 here!
Hope you enjoy 🥰
Summary: After a drunken night between friends, just friends, nothing more, Y/N and Cassian’s lives end up changing forever. But maybe not in the way they had originally expected.
Word Count: 1.6k
After what felt like both hours and seconds, you let out a sigh and dropped the controller onto the couch.
“I win. Again.”
“Hardly, this was all just beginners luck.”
“Wow. How about you cast your mind back to, I don’t know, maybe every other time I’ve won Mario Kart–“
“Once. That was one time.”
“Yeah, only because you’re all a bunch of sore losers who banned me from playing any other time.”
“Well…that’s beside the point! Clearly I’m going to be off my game, what with being a bit distracted by the fact that you’re…” Cassian trailed off with a sharp intake of breath.
“Mm,” the palpable tension a stark contrast to the flashing colours still emanating from the screen. “It’s almost as if you’re implying that I wouldn’t be distracted by that.”
Cassian’s lip twitched in amusement but it was clear to both of you that time was up.
“We should talk.” The seriousness in Cassian’s tone was a stark contrast to the easy quips that had initially broken your Mario-Kart-induced silence.
“Yeah, we should,” shifting to face him, you studied Cassian’s features for a moment before quietly asking, “what’re you thinking?”
“I don’t know. I mean, it’s not what I expected you to say and I’m still sorta in shock but...,” fiddling with the drawstrings of his sweatpants, Cassian hesitated, eyes darting your way for a moment before his gaze turned back to the floor. “But,” he continued, “it’s not the worse thing you could’ve said?”
“What?”
“No, I mean… it’s just in the sense that it’s not what I expected and, yeah, I was caught off guard, but initially I thought someone had died or something. I’ve never seen you so serious and upset before.”
You gave a quiet hmm in acknowledgment as your mind began to process what he was saying. He was handling the whole situation a lot better than what you originally expected, at least on the outside, which you were selfishly grateful for.
“What about you?” Cassian asked, pulling you from your thoughts, “what’re you thinking? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine…–ish,” you added with a smile that didn’t quite meet your eyes. “It’s been two months so I definitely didn’t expect the test to actually turn up positive. And I feel like I’m all over the place, I didn’t think it was humanly possible to experience so many emotions over just a few hours—“
“That could be the hormones.” Cassian interjected with mock-seriousness, earning him a cushion to the face.
“—I just mean,” you continued, “that I don’t know what I’m thinking or feeling. My heads all over the place and I don’t know if I want to cry or sleep.”
Cassian shifted from his side of the couch, letting out a breath as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you against him. “It’s gonna be okay,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of your head that had you melting even further into him. You supposed any form of comfort would be more than welcoming in your current state…
——————
The two of you sat together in silence for some time, both deep in thought and not wanting to break the small moment of comfort you were allowing one another; the brush of Cassian’s thumb against your shoulder seemed to be the one thing keeping you tethered to reality.
“Do you even want kids? In all the years we’ve been friends, you’ve never mentioned it before.”
“Yeah, I do.” Cassian replied, voice so certain that you were surprised you didn’t already know this about him. “I know that might seem surprising given… past actions. And I don’t know if I’d be any good at being a dad, but yeah I’ve always wanted to have kids someday.”
When you didn’t respond straight away, Cassian shifted beside you, nervously fidgeting with his drawstrings once again. “I mean, obviously I’d have to change a few things… But I would do that, you know, if there was a kid in the picture. And I might not be great but I think I’d do my best and—”
“You would be a great dad, Cass.” Interrupting his nervous rambles, you straightened up, not quite moving away from his side but just enough so that you could properly look at his face; the raw emotion catching you off guard as he glanced down at you, brows pinched together as he considered your words.
“You think so?”
“I do,” your voice sincere and levelled, understanding of his apprehension and concern falling into place as you remembered that his own father had rarely been in the picture. “One, you would for sure be the fun dad and, two, more importantly, you would be there for them. Think about all the times you’ve dropped everything for one of us. Even today, you’ve been so amazing even though I’m sure you’ve been freaking out internally.” Your voice is teasing but you squeeze his hand to show that you truly mean it.
“Oh. Well, thanks, Y/N,” A soft squeeze of your hand in response has a short-lived smile gracing your features, one that quickly disappears when Cassian turns the conversation back onto you. “We’ve spent an awful lot of this talk discussing what I’m thinking and feeling. Don’t think I haven’t noticed those deflection skills coming out.”
“What deflection skills? I was just asking you about yourself.”
“Those deflection skills. We’ve managed to talk a whole heap about the current situation without actually getting anywhere with it. Now, what do you want to do?”
Scrunching your nose, you let out a groan and slump against the back of the couch. “I want to drink.”
“Easy. I’ll grab us some drinks and then we can… Wait, hang on. No, you can’t drink. Right?” Your pouted lip gave Cassian his answer. “Right, okay, no drinking. I can get us some paper and a pen? You love a pros and cons list. That could help us work out if we’re going to keep them or not.”
Cassian hesitated midway off the couch as he noticed the glistening in your eyes which you quickly tried to hide with a sniff as you looked away. While you had both been mulling over the question all day, neither of you had directly mentioned the details of the decision you needed to make.
“I don’t know what to do, Cassian. I just… I don’t know what to do. It wasn’t meant to happen like this, or now. There’s still so much I haven’t done and I… I don’t know how I’m going to do this,” you managed to maintain a relatively stable voice, despite the tears streaming down your face, as you looked desperately to Cassian as though hoping he would have all the answers. “What do you think we should do?”
“I don’t know, Y/N. It’s up to you—”
“No, you can’t leave it all to me. That’s not fair, I shouldn’t have to make this decision by myself.” Your frustration was evident as you snapped back at him, knowing it was unfair in the way Cassian held his hands up in defence but being too clouded and overwhelmed to take it back.
“If you’d let me finish,” Cassian fixed you with a pointed look to which you offered an apologetic smile in return, “I was going to say, it shouldn’t be up to me because I’m not the one who would be carrying them and growing them for the next few months. But whatever you decide to do, I’ll fully back you and stand by your side. You won’t be doing this alone.”
The two of you sat in silence as you mulled over everything Cassian had said; contemplating what he had, whether knowingly or not, admitted through his choice of words.
“So,” you started, avoiding Cassian’s eye, “you think we should keep it?”
“I didn’t say that-“
“You didn’t have to,” you offered a small smile before continuing, “you wouldn’t be the one carrying them, I would be, as in you’re thinking about a future where this happens. You’ve started referring to it - them - as them, as a person, not just a potential blob of cells. You want this baby.”
Cassian tensed, eyes darting across your face, mouth opening and closing as though wanting to say something and thinking better of it.
“Cass?”
“I think so,” despite the slight shake to his voice, the expression on his face was one of certainty. “Yes. Y/N, I do want this baby. And that isn’t to say that you don’t have final say in the matter. But… I dunno, sure this is so, so far from the fragment of a plan or timeline I had in mind for myself. And maybe we aren’t in the ideal position but I really think we could make this work. We both have good jobs, a good group of people around us, we get along… look, put it this way, if I had to have an unplanned and unexpected baby with someone, well, I’d be happy to have one with you.”
You couldn’t help the tug of your lips when you took in Cassian’s slightly flustered appearance, a faint red tinged his cheeks as he looked at you cautiously from under his lashes. Hearing his words, his true thoughts about the matter at hand, had the tension and uncertainty ebbing away. Yes, you will still beyond stressed and scared and every other possible emotion. But now you were also certain that Cassian would stick by your side, solidifying the potential future your mind had been pulling you towards all day.
“Alright then, looks like we’re having a baby.”
——————
I would love to hear any thoughts/suggestions/ideas you have 😍
Also, let me know if you would like to be tagged xx
More Than A Moment: Part 2 - Cassian x Reader (AU!)
So that took a minute but here’s part 2 to More Than A Moment
This is a bit more of a filler/exposition chapter in setting up Cassian and Y/N’s friendship/history but I’ve got a doc that’s currently 13k long with ideas and little scenes written out (please send through any ideas you have or would want to see)
Hope you enjoy 🥰
Summary: After a drunken night between friends, just friends, nothing more, Y/N and Cassian’s lives end up changing forever. But maybe not in the way they had originally expected.
Word Count: 1.6k
“Cass, I’m pregnant.”
You held your breath as you stared across the table at your friend waiting for his response, your vision narrowing in on his expression as the rest of the world dissipated into a fast-moving blur.
“You’re… what?” Cassian let out a disbelieving huff of a laugh, as if waiting for you to crack a smile and tell him it was all a joke. The look on your face pulled him far away from that thought though as he took in a deep breath and lent back against his chair, hands running through his hair. “Fuck. You… you’re sure?”
“Feel free to double check the ten other tests I have littered across my bathroom floor, but yeah, I’m pretty sure.”
“And it’s mine? I mean, I don’t mean for it to sound like… it’s just that that night was, what, two months ago?”
“It’s yours, Cass.”
“You’re pregnant.”
“I’m pregnant.”
It was as though saying the words aloud gave life to the thought itself, leading it to become a fact, a hard hitting reality that had what felt like the weight of the world tumbling down around you. A wave of panic coursed through you as you tried to even out your breathing, but the blur in your vision, amplified by the sudden onset of tears, did little to calm your racing heart.
Cassian was quick to get out of his seat, kneeling beside you as he clasped your hands in his, giving them a reassuring squeeze. “Hey, hey, hey. It’s going to be alright. We’ll sort something out, okay? Let’s just…,” Cassian looked at you, taking in the panic and fear that he was sure wasn’t too dissimilar to what had flickered across his face moments earlier, before glancing around the busy cafe. “Okay, you wait here, I’m going to get our drinks to-go then we can head back to mine to talk, alright? I’ll be right back.”
It was as though the world had veered right down into slow motion as your eyes trailed Cassian, watching as he approached the counter and spoke to the disgruntled waiter from earlier who nodded before walking away. Cassian turned back to face you, offering you a tight smile which you attempted to return. Taking in a deep breath and blinking back the remainder of your tears, you stood up, grabbing Cassian’s jackets that had been draped over his seat, before making your over to him in somewhat of a daze.
“Thanks,” the tight lipped smile remained as he took the jacket from you and slipped into it, eyes lingering on your face as his thoughts began to spiral. The sight of you looking so lost and terrified had his own racing heart aching for you. With a sigh he pulled you against him in a one-armed hug as you waited for your drinks. “We’ll figure this out, together, alright?”
“Really?” Your voice sounded so small — over all the years of friendship he had never seen you like this.
Ignoring the slight punch to the gut at your question — did you really think he would make you deal with this alone? — Cassian bumped his hip against yours, “Yes, really. I mean, what else are friends for? Other than getting them knocked up whilst drunk at a work event.”
The joke fell flat and Cassian cringed as his mind raced with what else to say. He wasn’t good at this. Humour was his default when it came to cheering people up but he had never found himself in this particular situation; he was torn between wanting to comfort you, to do anything to make the furrow between your brows and the slight quiver of your lip to make way for the smile he knew so well, whilst also needing a moment to process his own thoughts and the role he had to play in what was occurring.
In silence, the two of you waited for your drinks before making your way back to the apartment Cassian shared with Rhys. As if the universe were trying to mock the pair of you, it seemed that every second person you passed was either pushing a stroller or running after the resounding giggle of children running.
“Rhys isn’t home, said something about heading away for the weekend,” Cassian started, finally breaking the long stretch of quiet that had settled between you as he held the apartment door open and gestured you inside. When all you could muster in return was a small sound of acknowledgment, he continued, unsure of how to even begin to have this conversation. “Have you told anyone else? Feyre? Mor?”
Sitting across from him on the slightly-worn couch, you offered a shake of your head. “No, just you. Mor had work this morning and I’ve got no idea where Feyre is. I took the test and came straight here. Sorry, by the way.”
“Sorry? Why are you sorry?”
“I should’ve called beforehand, I didn’t even consider you might have plans or… well, company.”
“Oh, right. Well, that doesn’t matter.”
The silence returned in a heavy wave. Despite the pair of you having been friends for years, rarely had there been a moment that required such seriousness, instead, opting for the easy banter that had naturally evolved over the course of your friendship.
“I don’t know how this happened,” you quietly said, pulling Cassian away from his thoughts. “We were safe, right? That night when…?”
Cassian nodded quickly, slightly taken aback by the intensity in the way your wide eyes landed on him, your sudden increase in pace a vast difference from the detachment you had been displaying since arriving at the cafe.
“And I’m on the pill. We were safe.” Cassian wasn’t sure if you were talking to him or just voicing your thoughts as you listed off all the reasons why it didn’t make sense that you were pregnant. “I didn’t have any symptoms, it only clicked because I realised I hadn’t had my period in ages and…”
“That’s not true,” Cassian cut you off, breaking your train of thought as your eyes darted back to him. “About you not having any symptoms. You were sick a few weeks ago.”
“Hmm? Oh, no that was just a stomach bug…” Your voice trailed and Cassian had to hold back a chuckle as your mouth fell open in realisation. “Oh shit, well that makes sense. So, I’m pregnant then.”
“That seems to be the case.” Cassian laughed, he wasn’t quite sure what at but before he knew it you were laughing too, an almost manic air to it that had his own laughter increasing. This was short lived, however, as you took a deep breath and quickly dissolved into tears.
“Fuck,” Cassian said, seemingly to himself. “Sorry, I wasn’t laughing at you. I dunno why I was laughing. I think this whole mess just caught up to me and… wait, no, not that this is a mess, its just unexpected… shit. It’s gonna be okay, Y/N.”
Slumping back against the couch you sniffed and took a few deep breaths, not noticing Cassian glaring to himself as he tried to reel in the word vomit he had just dumped on you.
“You alright?” Cassian asked, cautiously watching you whilst also trying to work out what he should be doing: Giving you a hug? Making you a cup of tea? Offering suggestions on what to do about the baby…?
He cut the thought off, mind not wanting to go there just yet. The fact that one of his friends was pregnant, let alone the fact that he was the father, had barely started to make sense to him.
“Yeah.” Your voice was gruff as your rubbed at your face, eyes closing as you tried to quieten your thoughts. Fuck. This was not how you expected today to go. A million questions and scenarios raced around your head, all quite pressing given the situation but all you wanted in that moment was for everything to go quiet, to give yourself a few moments of peace before figuring out the next step.
Your eyes swept over to the other end of the couch, taking in Cassian’s expression as he stared blankly at the wall, brows furrowed and mouth pinched, clearly lost in his own thoughts. Letting out a sigh, you let your eyes flutter shut once more. This wasn’t just happening to you, you reminded yourself, he was also trying to process and make sense of the earth shattering news you dropped on his lap on a seemingly normal Sunday morning.
“You said Rhys isn’t home today?”
“Hmm?” Cassian looked over at you, quirking his head in question. “Oh right. Yeah, he’s away for the weekend.”
“Okay. Good, that’s good.”
Cassian sat in a confused state of silence, waiting for you to explain your thoughts.
“I don’t want to have to think or…decide anything yet,” Your tone was heavy, pointed, confirming to Cassian that, like him, you hadn’t yet made up your mind about whether or not you wanted to keep the baby. “I don’t even know what I should be thinking or feeling. So can we just, I dunno, play Mario Kart or something?”
“You want to play Mario Kart? Now?” You shrugged, slumping against the back of the couch and raising your eyebrows at Cassian. “Fuck it, why not? Lets play some Mario Kart.”
—————
Read Part 3 here!
Again, I have so many ideas (13k words + of them) but if you’ve got any requests for this fic or anything else please send them through!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Hi! It's been awhile and I'm so so so sorry for not posting anything the past few weeks. I've made this part extra long to make up for the wait but have honestly been feeling a little off with my writing at the moment so bear with me while I get back into it 🥰
Also, writing this while being in the middle of an endo flare up was incredibly therapeutic!
Summary: Reader gets her period + Ottie being a menace + family time + fluffy Cassian/reader moments
Word Count: 4.5k
You can read the previous part here
A sharp, stabbing pain tore you from your sleep and had you quickly sitting up in bed as you let out a quiet cry of pain. “Fuck,” you murmured to yourself as you sluggishly pushed the sheets off your too-hot body, mindful of not disturbing Cassian who was fast asleep and softly snoring beside you.
On shaky legs you managed to get yourself to the bathroom, carefully closing the door before turning to look at yourself in the mirror. Wincing at your reflection, you took in the dark circles under your eyes, the pasty, clammy complexion of your skin as you leant heavily against the counter, suddenly overcome by another shot of pain. Turning on the faucet, you splashed your face with the cool stream of water, a momentary reprieve before that unbearable pain made itself known and you found yourself crumbling to the floor, legs unable to keep you upright. The cold tiles offered some comfort as your curled in on yourself and despite knowing that a hot bath would help with the pain, you couldn’t bring yourself to move.
*****
“Y/N?” The sudden call of your name had you jerking awake and blearily blinking up at the bathroom ceiling. The momentary confusion was swept away by the onset of another throbbing cramp that had you squeezing your eyes tightly shut as you breathed through your nose.
“Y/N? Are you in her– Y/N! What happened? What’s wrong?” The comfort of Cassian kneeling beside you and pulling you into his warm body did little to alleviate the pain coursing through you. You desperately held onto his arms as you leant against him, breathing heavily as you waited for the current cramp to subside. You focused on the soothing rise and fall of his chest and the way his fingers softly caressed over your skin before pulling back slightly to look up at his concerned face and offer a small smile that you were sure was more of a grimace.
“I’m fine,” your voice was hoarse and utterly unconvincing judging by the quirked eyebrow Cassian raised at you. “Really, it’s nothing. Just my cycle…” you trailed off as another wave of pain took over. You slumped against Cassian who let out a tut of concern as his fingers wove through your hair, pushing the strands away from your sweaty forehead.
“What do you need?” Cassian asked after a few moments when he felt your body finally relax against him. Shifting so that your face was buried in the crook of his neck you let out a small sigh, snuggling in closer when you felt the press of his lips against the top of your head.
“To be knocked unconscious for the next week.” Cassian’s huff of a laugh caused a small smile to tug at your lips as you let out another sigh against the pain.
“Well I won’t be helping you with that, so how about I run you a bath instead?”
“Fine,” you grumbled as Cassian helped you to your feet and gently lifted you up to sit on the counter, leaving you with a kiss, before he went about filling the bathtub with hot water and soothing oils.
“There, how’s that?” he asked, guiding you over to the steaming tub and helping you peel off your pyjamas.
“Perfect,” you replied as you let the hot water envelop you, “you’re perfect.” You reached out to grab his hand, pressing a grateful kiss to the back of it as you sunk further into the warmth, breathing in deeply as the smell of the oils filled your senses.
You grinned at the soft tinge of pink that spread over Cassian’s cheeks at your words, but he just shot you a playful look before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your cheek then the top of your head. The moment was short lived, however, as another cramp took hold.
“What else can I do?” Cassian’s words were laced with helplessness as he sat on the edge of the bathtub, staring down at you with worry etched across his face. You remained silent, willing the pain to pass as you held onto his hand like a lifeline and stared into the swirls of the water around you.
“I don’t know. Maybe… maybe just a cup of tea? One of Madja’s teas that helps with the pain? It’s in the cupboard –”
“In the cupboard next to the window, right at the back of the shelf in the brown jar. Don’t worry, I remember from last time. What else?” He asked almost desperately. You blinked up at him, the attentiveness and thoughtfulness of the male in front of you still managed to take your breath away even though it should no longer be a surprise to you.
“Other than joining me?” you gave him a mischievous grin, scrunching your nose up and laughing as he flicked water at you with a smirk. “Honestly though, this is enough. More than enough, thank you.”
“No need to thank me,” he said softly, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips. “I’ll be right back with your tea, okay? Let me sort a few things out for today, then if Ottie is still sleeping, we’ll see about me joining you. Although, with her track record of interrupting us lately, she’ll be awake the second I get in.”
You laughed at the disappointment in his voice; he wasn’t wrong though. Lately Ottie had seemed to pick up the habit of walking in or making herself known just as things were getting heated, luckily, she was too young to understand what was going on and was seemingly oblivious to the two of you spluttering and jumping apart.
But shit. Now that your mind had trailed to the young Illyrian sleeping soundly down the hall, you remembered the plans you had made with her for today and knew you would have to cancel given your current state. Biting your lip in worry, you missed Cassian returning, steaming mug of tea in hand.
“Here you go. Oh, sweetheart…” you looked up at the concern in his voice as he took in your troubled expression. “Drink this, hopefully it kicks in soon and takes away some of the pain.”
“It’s not that,” you explained, gratefully taking the mug from him with a soft smile. “I just remembered, Ottie and I were meant to go into the city today. We’ve had the whole day planned out for weeks.”
“And why wasn’t I invited?” he teasingly quipped, though you knew he was somewhat serious about missing out on time with the two of you. “Or is this a mummy-daughter bonding day?” The grin on his face matched the one that spread across your own at his words; Ottie had been calling you mummy for the better part of three months now and your heart still skipped a beat every single time, Cassian also couldn’t contain his grin and the look of love and adoration that spread across his face whenever he heard it.
“You weren’t invited because you have work today –”
“Had work. I just spoke with Rhys and have the rest of the week off.”
“Cass…”
“Don’t tell me I didn’t need to; I wasn’t going to leave you alone like this, love.”
You smiled softly at his words, heart pounding in your chest as you gently cupped his face and pulled him down into a kiss.
“Thank you,” you kissed him once more before letting him sit back up against the edge of the bathtub. “But what I was going to say was, you had work today so we thought it would be the perfect time to go shopping for your birthday next week. No, don’t groan about it. You went all out for my birthday so of course I’m going to do the same.”
Cassian glared down at you, and you stared right back up at him with a smug grin, “I’m over 540 years old, sweetheart, you do know that, right? We really don’t need to be celebrating at this point.”
“Okay, sure. But how many of those birthdays did I have with you? How many did Ottie? Don’t pout over the fact that we love you and want you to feel special.”
“The fact that you both love me is enough–”
“Then consider everything else we have planned for you as a bonus.”
Cassan stared you down, letting out a sigh when he realised there would be no changing your mind. “Fine. But only because I love you.”
Your smile was short lived as another cramp coursed through you, causing your breath to catch as your eyes squeezed tightly shut in response. Cassian ran a tentative hand through your hand, doing his best to sooth you and offer some form of comfort.
“Come on, lean forward and I’ll help you wash your hair, then I’m taking you back to bed so you can sleep.” A hum was the only response you could offer as you did your best to will away the pain by focusing on the feeling of Cassian’s fingers rubbing the lavender scented shampoo through your hair.
“We’ll have a bath later?” you asked in a quiet voice as Cassian finished helping you rinse out the conditioner, hands trailing down to rub soothing circles into the tight muscles along your shoulders and back.
“Anything you want, sweetheart,” he replied, pressing a kiss to your bare shoulder before helping you stand and climb out of the bath, a fresh, fluffy towel at the ready.
Once you had dried off, Cassian helped you into some clean pyjamas then led you back to bed. He climbed in first before gesturing for you to sit between his legs so that he could brush out your hair. The feeling of his body embracing you and with the constant warmth that seemed to radiate from him, you were quick to relax against him, content in having him simply holding you as you drifted back to sleep.
*****
Once he sensed that you were asleep, Cassian shifted you both so that you were laying down against the pillows, his arms wrapping around you as he did his best to massage your stomach in hopes of alleviating some of the pain without waking you. He let out a sigh, feeling completely useless as he took note of the slight grimace that tainted your soft features, even as you slept.
Cassian quickly found himself dozing off, the comforting and familiar scent of your shampoo lulling him into an easy, but short lived, sleep. A sudden commotion sounded from down the hall and had Cassian lifting his head, careful not to disturb you as you shifted further into the blankets. He slowly pulled away from you, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead as he quietly walked over to the door, closing it behind him with a soft click.
“Morning, daddy,” Ottie cheerfully called out to him from where she stood by the stairs, “want to see what I’ve been practicing?”
If he hadn’t been so worried about you, Cassian would have taken a second to think about what Ottie could have been practicing by the stairs, what could have caused the commotion he had heard. Instead, with a hesitant glance towards the bedroom door, he absentmindedly answered, “go on then, princess,” and watched in horror as Ottie all but threw herself down the stairs.
“OTTIE!”
Cassian couldn’t remember a time he had moved so fast in his life as he bounded after her. With all the years of standing against multiple enemies, fighting across multiple battlefields, not once had his heart stopped as it did in that moment, utter, undiluted fear coursing through his veins.
But the delighted giggles that sounded from his daughter broke through that fear as he watched from halfway down the stairs as Ottie flung her wings out and landed with a soft thud at the bottom of the stairs.
Cassian stared at her, frozen to the spot before lowering himself down to sit on the steps, his heart hammering rapidly in his chest as he placed his head in his hands and drew in a deep breath.
“Ottie?” he could hear the strain in his voice.
“Yes, daddy?”
“Promise me,” he started, looking at her as she tiled her head to the side in curiosity, “that, under no circumstances, will you ever do that again.”
“But –”
“No buts. You will not do that again.”
“But mummy will like it, she will want to see it.” Ottie stared back at him, a defiant expression on her face as she crossed her arms.
“No, princess, she will not. New rule, no more flying inside, alright? Or there will be no more lessons for the next four weeks. Including lessons from Uncle Rhys and Uncle Az.” He sternly added when she opened her mouth to argue back.
“Fine,” she finally agreed but Cassian could clearly hear the resentment in her tone. “Don’t you have work today? You’re going to be late.”
He raised an eyebrow at his daughter. Was she trying to coax him out of the house?
“I did but I’m staying home today. Mummy isn’t feeling well,” he explained while ushering her into the kitchen to get a start on breakfast.
“Oh,” Ottie climbed up onto one of the bench stools and waited for Cassian to pass her a plate of toast and a glass of orange juice.
“What’s wrong with her?” she asked between a mouthful of food.
Cassian gave her a look, knowing he was in no position to lecture, but nevertheless, “don’t talk with your mouth full, Otts.”
Making a show of swallowing the mouthful of toast she had been talking around, Ottie cleared her throat then repeated, “what’s wrong with mummy? We were meant to go into Velaris to buy you a – we were going to do something today.” Ottie quickly cut herself off, eyes going wide upon realising she had almost ruined the birthday surprise the two of you had planned for him.
“There’s nothing wrong with her, she’s just got her cycle,” you and Cassian had decided to be completely open about these topics whenever they came up, Cassian was just scared he might stumble with this one without you there to help guide it.
“What’s a cycle?”
“A cycle happens every couple of months to grown females, they bleed for a few –”
“Mummy’s bleeding? She’s hurt?” Ottie’s wide eyes stared back and forth between Cassian and the doorway, as though debating whether to run up and check on you herself.
“No, no, no, princess. Mummy isn’t hurt, alright? It’s normal to bleed during your cycle, and it’s only a little bit. It’s the bodies way of getting ready to have a baby if–”
The excited squeal that Ottie let out had Cassian stopping mid-sentence, staring at her intently as he tried to work out what was running through her head.
“So, mummy has a cycle right now?” she clumsily asked. Cassian nodded, taking a sip of juice as he leant against the counter. “So, that means there’s a baby in her tummy?” And the sip of juice Cassian had just taken was now being spluttered across said counter.
“No, Ottie, that’s not what that means. It’s just the bodies way of…” but Cassian could tell Ottie wasn’t hearing a word of it as she kicked her feet excitedly.
“So, I’m going to have a little brother or a little sister?”
“No, Ottie, mummy isn’t pregnant, alright?” The scare you had a few weeks ago, followed up by an appointment with Madja and a stronger contraceptive made sure of that. “There’s no baby in her tummy.”
“Oh,” Cassian couldn’t help the slight ache in his heart at the dejected look that darkened Ottie’s excited expression. “But one day she might be?”
“Maybe…” the two of you hadn’t really spoken about having a child together, but now that the idea had been planted, Cassian couldn’t help but let his mind wander at the thought.
“Good because I want to be like Nyx.”
“What do you mean you want to be like Nyx?”
“You know, with a little brother or a little sister.”
Well, that was news.
“Nyx is going to have a little brother or sister, is he? And how do you know that?”
“Because he told me. He said that he heard his mummy and daddy talking about wanting to have another baby.”
Cassian found himself grinning at the thought, tucking away that snippet of information to share with you once you were awake and for when he next saw Rhys.
“Can I go and see mummy now?” Ottie asked in a tentative tone.
“She’s sleeping at the moment, princess. Let’s let her rest for now, okay? Then later in the day when she’s feeling better we can go up for cuddles.”
*****
You shifted against the plush mattress as a stream of afternoon sunlight snuck through the crack in the curtains, but it was the quiet patter of footsteps that had stirred you from your sleep. Sluggishly, you lifted your head to look towards the bedroom door where a small, winged frame was silhouetted against the light coming in through the hallway.
With a soft smile tugging at your lips, you whispered out into the dark room, “Hi, Ottie.”
“Hi, mummy,” she replied in a hesitant voice. “Daddy said I couldn’t see you until later once you had rested, but it’s been a long time now…”
“Do you want to come up here?” you asked, heart softening at the eager nod you got in return as Ottie scrambled up the bed to snuggle in beside you. “I’ve missed you today. Sorry we couldn’t go into the city to get daddy’s birthday presents.”
“That’s okay. Daddy told me about your cycle…,” she made an effort to really enunciate the word, causing a smile to spread across your face as you held back a laugh, “…and that you’re bleeding and that you’re not having a baby, yet.”
“Well, I’m still sorry we couldn’t have our day out together. I would’ve much preferred that than being stuck in bed all day.” You replied, choosing to actively ignore her comment about not having a baby yet. Ottie hummed in agreement, shifting so that she could curl up against your side, your arm wrapping around her to hold her close as she rested her head against the crook of your neck.
“What did you get up to today?” you asked in a whisper, not wanting to break the silent trance that had fallen over the room.
“I painted like Auntie Feyre showed me. And I helped daddy make lunch and then we played some games. He’s doing some work in his office, so I tip-toed past him because I wanted to see you,” she whispered back, lowering her voice even further as she explained how she managed to deceive Cassian. “Daddy was really worried about you today and kept coming up here to check on you, so I thought I would look after you while he’s busy working.”
“Well, I’m already feeling much better thanks to your cuddles.” Ottie grinned at you in delight, pressing a sloppy kiss to your check before continuing to tell you all about her day.
“Oh,” she exclaimed as though remembering something important, “Daddy also said there’s a new rule: no more flying inside. I don’t think he was very happy with me.” You stifled another laugh at the voice she put on when reciting Cassian’s new rule.
“And why wasn’t he happy with you?”
“I don’t know…”
“Ottie…”
“Because I jumped down the stairs,” she quickly said, the words muffled against your shoulder as she cuddled even closer to you.
“More like threw yourself down the stairs before catching yourself at the last minute,” Cassian’s stern tone had you both looking up to find him leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. You glanced at Ottie, who was looking at her dad with a guilt-ridden expression, before turning back to Cassian who nodded in confirmation.
“So, the new rule,” he continued, making his way over to the bed and sitting on the edge beside you, “no more flying inside, or else…”
“…or else there will be no flying lessons for four weeks.” Ottie mumbled back.
“Exactly,” he fixed Ottie with a look before his eyes trailed over your face in concern.
“I’m fine, Cass.”
“She is,” Ottie started, speaking up before Cassian could say anything. “She said my cuddles made her feel better. Right, mummy?”
“It’s true,” you smiled, bopping her on the nose as you turned back to face Cassian. “Her cuddles are truly magical.”
“I don’t know how much help I’ll be then if I’m up against magical cuddles, but is there room for one more in there?”
“What do you think, Otts? Should we move over? Make some room for daddy?”
“I don’t know…”
“You don’t know!” Cassian exclaimed in faux offence, leaning across you to tickle Ottie as she tossed against your side to get away from him, fits of her infectious laughter filling the room.
“What about if he comes back with a cup of tea for me? Can he join us then?”
Ottie fixed a contemplative look on her face, struggling to hold back a grin as she eyed Cassian up and down.
“How about, I make mummy a cup of tea that will make her feel better, and throw in two of our special hot chocolates? How does that sound?”
“Deal.” You watched on in amusement as Ottie stretched out her small hand, Cassian taking it in his as they shook in agreement.
“Deal,”
“Come on then. I need my chocolate taste tester with me if I’m going to be making special hot chocolates.” Ottie scrambled out of your arms and ran out the bedroom door. Cassian turned to you, looking as though he was about to say something before, “Ottie! Remember to–”
“I know. Walk, don’t fly. You already told me.” Her little voice echoed back, followed by the resounding thump of disgruntled footsteps as she walked down the stairs.
Cassian shut his eyes, an exhausted expression taking hold before looking back at you with a soft smile.
“Kids, hey?” you teased, both of you listening to Ottie making the final stomp down the stairs.
“Kids,” he repeated with a shake of his head. “gotta be crazy to want them.”
You hummed in response, the silence settling between you both for a second too long as you nestled back against the pillows.
“You sure you’re feeling alright?” Cassian asked, tucking some stray strands of hair away from your face.
“Yeah, just a bit sore, but not as bad as this morning.”
“Good,” he leant down to press a kiss to your forehead, then your cheek, pulling back a bit to gently cup your face before pressing his lips against yours. “I’ll be back. Do you need anything else while I’m downstairs?”
Shaking your head with a small, content smile, you quickly reach up to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling his face back down to yours for another kiss before whispering, “thank you.”
“I already told you, no need to thank me.” He replied with a wink before making his way out the door.
You let out a sigh as you drag yourself out from underneath the sheets, stretching as you make your way over to the other side of the room to open up the curtains and the window, letting in the fresh afternoon air.
“Ottie,” You stilled as Cassian’s voice echoed up from the kitchen. “What did I say about flying inside?”
“I was helping you! You asked me to get the chocolate, I couldn’t reach it, now I can…” You couldn’t help the laugh you let out as you pictured what was currently happening downstairs.
*****
Ten minutes later Cassian and Ottie returned, one steaming mug of tea and two hot chocolates between them that were all placed carefully against the bedside table. “I’ll be back in a minute,” Ottie exclaimed before racing out of the room.
Cassian sat beside you, hiding his face against your neck with a groan as he mumbled, “she is going to be the death of me.” You stretched your arm up so that your hand could trail through his hair.
“She’s growing up.”
“And she’s already a handful. She’s lucky that I love her…” he joked as Ottie walked back into your bedroom, arms loaded with soft toys and books that were place at the end of your bed.
“These always make me feel better, so I thought they might help you too,” Ottie explained with a shrug as she passed you her favourite teddy bear.
“Thank you, sweetheart.”
“Alrighty, now that we’re all here,” Cassian said with a pointed look at Ottie’s pile of toys, causing a giggle to escape her as she settled down beside you. “One tea for you.”
“Thanks, Cass.” You said, taking the mug from him and smiling at the wink he shot your way.
“And one special hot chocolate for you.” He said, carefully handing the mug to Ottie before settling in on your other side and draping the blankets snuggly across the three of you.
“Thanks, Cass.” Ottie copied you with a cheeky grin that looked identical to Cassian’s.
“No, nuh-uh, nope,” Cassian leant forward to round on Ottie who was giggling from the safety that came from you being between them both. “You, missy, you do not call me that.”
“Why not…Cass?” she repeated.
“Because,” he looked at you for backup, eyes widening in betrayal when he found you stifling your own laughter. “Because you’re my little girl, that’s why.”
Before Ottie could jump in again, you cut her off, “I think what your dad is trying to say, is that you calling him by his name, instead of daddy, is making him feel old. He is turning 544 next week, you know.” You teased in a conspiratorial voice, nudging Cassian’s side as he scoffed and leant back against the pillows.
“So much for making me feel loved and special,” he jokingly muttered, referring back to the birthday conversation the two of you had that morning.
With a gentle nudge to Ottie’s side, you gave her a look that had her letting out an over-dramatic sigh, “I’m sorry, daddy. Sorry for making you feel old.” There was no chance of holding back your laugh at her words, especially when Cassian simply shook his head in defeat as he wrapped an arm around you and pulled you tightly against him.
Back in the warmth and comfort of his arms, with Ottie nestled in tight on your other side, you found yourself relaxing further into the mattress as the effects of the tea took hold. The soothing rise and fall of Cassian’s chest from where you rested your head, along with the playful back-and-forth banter and melodic laughter that filled the room made that excruciating pain you had been feeling all day worth it if it meant being able to have a moment like this.
