Jan 17, 2021
a little sketch of Solas and Lavellan :3
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a little sketch of Solas and Lavellan :3
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Hi, I just wanted to share that Da'len is an absolute monster and grew almost 1.5" in one week and gained 22g.
Thinking about how when she was younger Da'len was not a terribly cuddly dog, she was very nervous and didn't want to sit in your lap at all. Now she cries if I'm on my phone or my computer until I put everything down and let her climb up on my chest. She doesn't do that to anyone else, and I love this tiny spoiled childe so much. It's very nice to think that she loves me as much as I love her. Get a tiny dog, they are life changing.
CONFESSION:
I call my daughter ‘da'len’. Most people just think I’m calling her 'darling’ with a weird accent but every now and then I get a side eye and smile from people who know better.
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Losing Max has been one of the hardest things I've gone through in my life. He came to us right before my health got really bad. He got me out of bed in the morning. There were days where him being there literally saved my life. My therapist said something that really hit home to me: he was a soul companion, and it feels like a piece of my soul is missing now. I made the decision a long time ago not to have kids for multiple reasons, some out of my control, so when I have pets they're like children to me. It's been weeks and I still have nights where I break down crying like it's the day we lost him. I haven't been in a good state because of it. I know it's been incredibly hard on my husband as well.
My husband made a good point that we have so much love to give to a pet, and it may be hurting especially hard because we have all that love bottled up and nowhere to give it. It's a special kind of love you can't really give to people. We’re pet people. We always will be. We need that little companion in our lives to feel whole. I still feel like a huge chunk of me is missing. I broke down again last night thinking about holding Max. But, we do need something special in our lives to focus on, to give me purpose during the day so that I don’t spend all my time crying (I love Max so much but my god the crying is so exhausting and I already have CFS lol). So, we found a breeder, and we now have a new little guy.
Meet Da'len, our new little bearded dragon (and his huge amount of shed that finally popped and peeled today). He is currently 16 weeks old and he eats like a complete monster 😂. It's been exciting watching him grow already in the little time we've had him. He's been shedding, and we can already see that he has the translucent gene that his breeder parents carry. Ever since he shed today he looks like he got into a bag of Doritos/Cheetos, he's just so orange. Both his breeder parents also are from paradox lines, which means he may have some nice blueish spots on him eventually like Max did. It's going to be fun watching Da'len grow and see how his colors change as he gets older. I went ahead and started him an Instagram account, so if you'd like to follow his growth he's dalendragon on there.
I still miss Max so much. His ashes are set up in the living room surrounded by photos of him, his paw prints, a little sleeping dragon sculpture we just got in the mail, and I have so many plans for ways to continue honoring his life and everything he gave us. I'm really glad I have a new little guy to focus my love and energy on during the day. I just wish we hadn't gotten all this smoke literally the week after he arrived 😂 I know it's healthy to grieve, I've just been doing it so much that it's overwhelming. And I'll still have lots of grieving to do. I think I'll always have a hole left in my heart from Max's loss. But, Da'len is already helping me stitch it up a bit, which has been nice. I can feel myself slowly climbing out of that hole. It's still gonna take time. But, it's slowly happening ❤️ I like to imagine that Max is helping guide Da'len as he grows, making sure he's going easy on me. And he's doing a pretty good job so far. He's only pooped on me once 😂
here's a painting of a dalish patrolling the woods, as usual.