#d.r.f.

It's only been five days since you suddenly ended things. I stopped breathing. Five days since we last spoke, said "I love you". I keep thinking the days will get easier but at times I think it's getting worse.

Day one: I couldn't breathe. I cried for hours and hours. I begged for you to talk to me. I couldn't eat. I felt sick. My chest and gut hurt.

Day two: I didn't want to get out of bed. I still couldn't eat. I texted you. I kept to myself. I barely smiled or laughed. I got drunk. I fell in a creek.

Day three: I was hungover. I threw up less than an hour before the party. I still couldn't eat. I pretended I was going to get through the day. I had a panic attack within the first hour of seeing you. My heart broke a little more each time you looked at me. I had to keep walking away because I couldn't hold myself together. I texted you "goodbye" when I left. I finally ate. I had a dream we got back together.

Day four: I felt sad because of my dream. My appetite seemed to be back. I couldn't get you out of my mind. I texted you. I gained hope that you miss me too. I barely slept. I cried myself to sleep.

Day five: I didn't want to get out of bed. I couldn't go back to sleep. I had a panic attack. I cried. I laid numb.

I can only feel your touch, see your face, hear your laugh, and fall in your eyes. I still feel numb. I don't want to eat. I just want to feel your love again.