New song with Jon. The song is straight acoustic cuz I'm just that kind of musician. I love acoustic jams.  If you haven't heard it, I would appreciate if you would take a sec and listen. I feel like it's worth listening to. 

If any kind of conscious/intelligent life came to our planet, I feel like they would hate us. The way we are towards each other. I feel like all the love and good things in our world is doubly over-shadowed by all the hate and misery. I honestly think we, as humans, are terrible people as a whole. I can't help but to think that we're doomed. Like we've dug ourselves our own grave and there's practically no coming back. We don't deserve anymore chances. We're like little babies. We say we're gonna change but we never will. We lie to ourselves thinking it's going to do something but it won't. It's so hard to live in a world like ours. I don't even know how we do it. I'm honestly afraid for the future. You should be to.

Had a great time...as always. I got to see my Uncle Omar who I rarely see and learned a lot of things from my childhood and about my grandparents that I didn't know. I had the entirely wrong perception of my parents and it hurts me so much to know how things actually went down when I was a child. I hate the secrecy cuz this shit is right out of a movie. My life was a lot more fucked up than I even knew. But it's water under the bridge. I'm focusing now on the future and trying to go back home for good but the grind starts here in VA.

...More specifically Nuyoricans such as myself. I feel the most comfortable around my people. There is a HUGE difference between a Puerto Rican born on the island and a Puerto Rican born in New York. I wanna be able to go up to a hispanic person and speak spanish and have them sound like me. I'm surrounded by Central Americans here. And the few Puerto Ricans I do know are all Islanders. I wanna be with MY people sometimes. I just miss it. I miss my family. I miss family parties in the house with salsa and alcohol and just having a great time. I miss Nuyorican Spanglish. I miss everything about it. I'm going home......one day.

Funny thing me and New York. I was born in VA beach, VA. Then I moved to New Jersey, then back to VA beach, then to Maryland, then to somewhere else and somewhere. My whole life I been moving around. But that house on Quincy Ave. I feel has been my real home the whole time. While my environment with my nuclear family was always changing, that house never moved. It was the once constant in my life. I love that house. I love everything about it. I love the Bronx. I love that New York has always been part of my life and one day I'm gonna live there for good. No matter what anyone thinks, the Bronx is the home that I always had. Home is where the heart is. That house in the Bronx off East Tremont is where my heart is. In all my years I spent somewhere else, I couldn't tell you much about the areas or how to get around, or what to do there. But I could tell you a shit load about how to get around in my little spot in the Bronx. I knew where to eat, which Chinese food was better (Sun's kitchen or Green Dragon....I personally like Sun's Kitchen better but I never ate much Chinese food there. Not my thing.) I could tell you that Frank's Pizza right around the corner is my favorite food in the whole world. Not just because it's New York and it's not even the BEST New York pizza, but for the memories that place created. I remember watching all the Yankees playoff games. Or specifically we were on the block and we were all just talkin shit. But something someone said I took to heart. I don't remember totally what it was cuz back then I took too many things to heart but I remember going for a walk and ending up right at Frank's and I sat there. Just thinking. I didn't even have to get pizza and the people there would just sit and talk to me. I love that pace more than they probably know. Anyways I love New York and for me to go back for any reason is the biggest thing in the world to me.

...just cuz of bottled up emotions. I try to hide things about myself from myself. Like the fact that people don't like me as much as I think I do. And that I'm nobody until people see me as somebody. I see myself much more positively than everyone else does....and it hurts. It hurts to know what I really am. But it's okay. Cuz this too shall pass. I'm gonna get out and make a new me. One that I can love without care. I'm gonna be who I always wanted to be. But for now, I'm stuck. Eye deep in bullshit. And all I wanna do is cry.

Ahh fuck it just treat it like an audio shit. Don't watch the video lol. This one's called "Fallin'".