#d.ear

jiteun eodumi naeryeoanjeun i georien nangman soge ttwinoldeon uriga itgo jinan sigani baeeo inneun i georineun neowa dalbicheul bego gidaetdeon got ara da jinabeorin irinde georeummada ttaraoneun uri hamkkehan sigani geujeo ireoge geotda boni hanadulssik tteoolla bamgonggie sillyeo on geuriumi beonjine jichin haruui gomindeureul naeryeonogo chan barameul deungjigo hamkke geotdeon gil namu…

💌- Han georeum deo naaganeun georago

Jinannari malhaejugo inneun geol

So whenever you ask me again how I feel

Please remember my answer is you

Meon gireul dasi doraganda haedo

Nan yeojeonhi gateun mamil tenikka

We'll be alright, I want to try again- 💌

TRY AGAIN slipped my mind at the first try, but then surprisingly came back and placed a position in my favorite playlist. Beyond visual appeals, the melodies and lyrics are open to opposite and sentimental interpretation, especially when listeners are covered in loneliness and frustration. It is like a beautiful and interesting double face coat that everyone should have in their wardrobe, which might not be usually used but definitely is a must for a rainy and doom day.

The dark side  

Due to the long time we shared  

Perhaps it's just natural our expectations increased  

Even with our countless shouts  

We couldn't reach each other's hearts  

Started with a blue tone and slow piano back sounds, the first verse tells a not so pleasure story of shouts and disappointment. I wondered the causes of “countless shouts” are countless problems or countless repetition of the same old mistakes. Being well-matched has never been an easy thing nor of destiny, but is a progress requiring bilateral efforts for continuous adjustments and personal development. Conflict is sometimes a greater good because once the problems are handled, we will get a better understanding on ourselves and our partner. However, an increasing number of unsolved conflicts over the time just more or less implies the fact that we are not meant to be. Whatever the case is, it is incomparable with the exhaustion caused by a non-stop bleeding wound when one keeps on digging their fingers in the sore. If a problem revisits us that frequent, it is us ourselves being the problem.  

So whenever you ask me again how I feel    

Please remember my answer is you    

Even if we have to go back a long way    

I will still feel the same way about you    

We'll be alright, I want to try again  

Confusion and negative flows from the previous part and the chorus provoke pains, especially the conversation “how do you feel?” - “my answer is you”. The one asking the question might not aim to seek for confirmation if the other stands by her side, but for her partner's true feeling and opinion. The pain point is rooted from lack of understanding and empathy, which can only be built up if we are honest with ourselves, and sincere with the other. Having your true heart exposed actually is a risky bet, but let’s nip the problem in the bud rather than sugarcoating them all. A bitter ending is better than an endless bitterness.  

“I will still feel the same way about you” - The more I dig into the lyrics, the less patient I turn. I should have felt more secured and confident, but why is only insecurity left in the given context. The boundary between “I love everyone” and “I love no one in particular” is indeed subtle, and “I feel the same” is neither different to “I don’t feel anything”. Being so generalized is way too confusing and boring. Long time spent together surely comes up with memories, thoughts and feelings. Then, “the same way” means the same with what feeling, what emotion, what thought? This creates a vague premonition whether the perception about a person is stuck somewhere in the other's mind, or does one just love the ideal of love instead of actually falling in love?  

The bright side  

No matter how many times we fall apart    

Due to our frequent arguments    

Like I said, we're the ones that matter the most    

We're not meaningless  

I'm taking a step forward and    

I'm telling you what the past has shown us  

Escaping the ocean of confusion, the second verse comes out with like a warmer and brighter flow. This part, the narrator clearly states his opinion, what he values most, so I know what he is standing for. Saying We're not meaningless eases me somehow. I am actually afraid of being nothing when one says everything before, and also of being a delusion. What the past has shown us more or less confirms that this relationship is real through the acknowledgement of bricks we have built together. I am not sure if this verse is a higher level of manipulation of the previous one, or actually is the light of hope. And I opt the latter.  

A bit sentimental, but I hope that this verse would come to people whenever they are covered in sadness. Things do not always follow the way we expected. We then feel down, seeing ourselves a total useless, being annoyed with no fruitfulness but failure, or overwhelmed in negative energies. Having someone there to encourage and share us the pressure is greater than great. However, regardless of being surrounded by people, there is certain time in life we feel disconnected with the outer world, being lost and completely lonely. And in such time, there is only you stay with yourself.  

The strength from inside is something undeniable but often neglected. There is no guaranteed remedy for all dilemmas. New solution/new people are things people normally think of, while in some cases, taking a break to look back the road we have gone through is worth considering either. I do not encourage falling into the past or being too relied on the same old route. But sometimes, things have changed in a very fast pace that we forget who we are. Us at the present are built from all the experiences we have ever gained, what we love/hate, and what make us happy/sad. One day, every little thing we've done will become the motivation for us to continue. It can’t be helped if we’ve tried our best but things are still struggled. At least, we do not regret :)  

So whenever you ask me again how I feel    

Please remember my answer is you    

Even if we have to go back a long way    

I will still feel the same way about you    

We'll be alright, I want to try again  

The same chorus, but this time, thanks to the connection with its previous part, produces optimistic vibe and feelings. It is a gentle whisper that I’d love to tell myself and my precious ones. My late 2022 was in a state of utter chaos. Everybody does their job well while me terribly. When I was about to give up, the chorus came and said things I needed the most that I nearly burst into tears. I just felt like I've got someone back me up to continue. Reorganizing the messy thoughts and experiences when the hard time got over, I think of this song as a gift for me. This entry is quite like a wall of text, but I just simply want to express my gratitude for the attempt of people who made this song exists.  

We'll be alright, please try again  

We can never know for sure whether what we are trying to do will come up with a good or bad outcome. However, keeping on moving at least makes us alive. I don’t like John Lennon, but I like a saying (widely assumed to be his): everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it is not the end. Yes, nothing is perfect, so if you know what is important to you, please TRY AGAIN.

And last but not least, happy your 1402 day, Jaehyun 😊