Could you do some d//eadpoo//l headcanons please? If your uncomfortable with that it’s totally cool!

Aaaaaaa thank you!! I just woke up to this ask SJXJDJDJ anon my day is off to a GREAT start now

• D.eadpool is one of those preds that is just a nuisance

• he's probably had prey try to cut him open to escape his stomach but with his regeneration he just pushes them back in askdncmmd.

• he only really eats people to annoy them, and by god does it work

• he's polite verbally, but not physically. As in, he'll be super nice when talking to prey, and then proceed to pour soy sauce on them before eating them

• any poor prey he gets his hands on will have to deal with partially-digested mush a lot, there's no real way to avoid it

• He. Will. Not. Stop. Talking. Any prey stuck in his stomach is going to be forced into listening to him ramble about something random for at least an hour before he finally gets distracted

• he definitely stuffs himself full with prey if he gets the opportunity to eat multiple. Like, past the normal limit to where it hurts. And then he sits and whines about stomachaches the whole time despite doing it to himself. And then he still won't spit a few of them out.

• he's handsy with his stomach, but not in the 'gently holds' way. It's more of a 'I have to poke them and be as annoying as possible' thing

• he can't handle crying prey. At all. Angry prey? Sure, he probably made them angry on purpose. But crying prey? He doesn't know what to do or how to fix it. And if he's the one that induced it he'll probably feel bad, even if he doesn't like the person he ate that much.

• when he eats prey that's the only time he really gives a shit about not getting hurt. He's aware of the fact that the person inside could get hurt too, and doesn't have the same abilities as him

• he can be a gentle and sweet pred, if the conditions are juuuust right. He usually only gets all fluffy and sweet about things after a fight, when he's tired. Then, his prey can expect him to be a little quieter when he's rambling, less insistent with his poking and prodding, as well as just... flat out going quiet for a few moments whenever they move inside. It's rare, but it happens.

• belly rubs don't have too much of an effect on him, but he appreciates the attention!

• this man is all about tasting. Any prey is licked a lot no matter what, and he constantly puts toppings and other things on his prey to try and spice things up. It's very annoying for the prey but any onlookers might find it hilarious to watch him dunk a tiny into strawberry ice cream before eating them

• his stomach isn't particularly loud on most days, but it can be on occasions.