#d-b-w

He sat and stared out the hospital window because he couldn’t bare the view that awaited him once he turned towards the other side of this uncomfortable bed. To think that with a turn of his head he could bare witness to the most beautiful view of his life. 

And yet...

He couldn’t bare it. 

He had been so close to death this time; he kept his promise to you but at what cost? 

He came back, right? 

Did he?

Sleepless nights, rivers of tears. You probably shed some years as you sat in this room, waiting for him to wake up. 

The constant stress you face because of his bravado was an endless storm of heartache and sorrow. 

He feared so much that you would drown, but somehow you kept both his and your feet on solid ground. Through the failures, through the horrors. Through the loneliness and the pain. 

Aizawa didn’t understand how you remained here beside him despite all the time and patience you’ve dedicated to explain. 

“I am nothing without you.”

“We are one and the same.” 

“You take my heart with you every time you go.”

“Your lips set every inch of me aflame.”

Aizawa stopped your words from continuing their war path against his. 

Because no matter how much he loved you and you loved him. 

He wasn’t actually expecting you to keep making love to this broken, fucked up version of him. For what could you see in someone like this? 

Before these thoughts were bad; now they were consuming him. 

You didn’t deserve any of this, you deserved so much more. 

Sunsets and kittens running through your bedroom door. A house full of laughter and love and care. 

Not this living hell, not this bitter nightmare. 

The dark cloud of thoughts was interrumpted, the light sound of the rustling of sheets hitting the cold tile made him tense. Since when was he a coward, this didn’t make sense. 

The dip of the bed, the heat of your touch. The warm trail of kisses you left on the nape of his sore neck as you brushed his hair away with practiced gentleness. 

Aizawa sank into your warmth as your arms pulled him in and back into your orbit. Selfishly he surrendered and didn’t think to pull away for a second. 

Despite all the suffering and fear and pain he still recognized your love and your healing embrace. He relinquished himself to sleep, finally feeling safe. 

Nowhere in the world was he treated with such care, except within the embrace of the one his heart he shared.

And despite every horror, every monster he faced. 

Despite everything, you remained right there.

 Ever since he saw you in the sports festival, he had been enchanted by you. Your strength and smarts amazed him. The camp incident only strengthened those feelings, he watched helplessly as you fought tooth and nail to protect everyone around you. As if that wasn’t enough, you chased after him. Trying to save him from the villains. You didn’t even talk to each other, for fuck’s sake! And there you were, covered in blood and dirt. Ready to take on the world for him. Your strong fearless actions were a juxtaposition to your very kind and soft soul. He found amazing how you could kick villain ass and then turn around to give the most comforting smile to anyone in need.

 Bakugou snarled at himself at his thoughts, how the hell was he even supposed to get you something when you didn’t even talk. He hated that he was constantly pining for you like an idiot. What he didn’t know was that he had also been in your thoughts. And that maybe, just maybe you wished he would come and say happy birthday to you. Your heart had always had a special place for him. Understanding that his anger came from deep insecurities and fear. You knew he meant well, and you also knew that he was slowly growing and changing for the best. You saw it in the little ways he took care of others or how he would be softer with you. Picking up the things you left behind. Lightly scolding you as you overworked yourself or put others before you.

 You observed the boy scowl in your direction and you shrunk in your seat. The other girls noticed, and some glared at him a bit. But you couldn’t bring yourself to feel upset. You didn’t know what you had done to earn his distaste but it left you feeling empty. Why must the object of your affection be such a grump? But then again, he wouldn’t be him if he wasn’t grumpy. You gave him a small smile and a wave. You watched as he turned his face away and trudged out of the room. A small sigh left your lips.

 “That stupid jerk.” Toru snarked at the retreating boy, “I don’t get why he’s always glaring at you.”

“I mean, she is competing with him for the top…” Uraraka mused.

“And she bested him in training last week.” Yaomomo took a sip of her tea as she eyed Jirou carefully.

Jirou shook her head at the tall girl but didn’t expect the words to fall from Mina’s mouth.

“Maybe it’s not what you think- OW!” she cried as Jirou smacked her shoulder.

“Wait, what?” you looked at both girls, eyes shining bright.

“Nothing.” Jirou glared at the other girls.

Your shoulders fell a bit, she didn’t elaborate but you felt a bit of hope grow in your chest.

 Of course, as soon as the hope bloomed it was crushed by the shouts of the angry blonde in the hallway.

“FUCK OFF! IT’S JUST A BIRTHDAY!!!!”

Kirishima walked back in with the blonde, their bags slung around their shoulders as he tried to appease the ferocious boy. The red head met Mina’s eyes and shrugged but then grimaced when he saw the look in your eye. It was unmistakable, so unmistakable that even the dense Todoroki had noticed how you deflated. Bakugou pretended he didn’t just see the hurt in your gaze and marched out to class. Kirishima followed quietly. Guilt eating him up at what he had indirectly caused. Bakugou’s heart ached but fuck. He didn’t have the time for this… but he didn’t want to hurt you either.

 Training had been a bitch that day, you found yourself lying on your back and staring at the beautiful clear sky. You relished the warmth the sun gave you until a long dark shadow was cast over you. You met the heated scowl of the infamous King Explosion Murder. You sat up only to feel something cold bump onto your forehead. You grabbed the bottle he offered but before you could say anything, he was already walking back to Kirishima. A puzzled look came over your features, but you shrugged it off. He sometimes made sure you had some water lately. He usually snarked at you too, though.

 Another bizarre thing occurred when after training you found some cute looking pens and a small notepad grace your desk. They were all elephant themed, your favorite animal. They were strong and caring creatures. You checked to see if there was a note or anything but there wasn’t. You looked around and met Bakugou’s gaze. You watched as he quickly looked away and grumbled something under his breath. You felt the embers of hope sparking up again. Your heart beating quickly as you blushed fiercely. Bakugou smirked as he sneaked a look at you and saw your flushed cheeks. Yeah, you were worth it. He would just have to bide his time. He was patient… sometimes… he could wait until tonight… he hoped.

 The day had thankfully flown by and nighttime was upon you. Your class had made a cozy dinner for your birthday; everyone had sung and cheered in celebration. You were the mom of their little class, so they tried to make you feel as loved as you made them feel. They knew you always took care of them before yourself and wanted to make sure you knew how much they appreciated that. Small gifts had been received from them and very warm hugs had been given to all except one.

 Bakugou had hung in the back of the room. Quietly observing as you tenderly thanked and loved on everyone. He watched as you embraced Deku and gave Iida a big kiss on the cheek. He watched as the girls huddled around you and began to dance with you to the stupidest song ever. He felt jealous when you pulled Kirishima and Aoyama back to the table and made sure they ate properly. He almost blew up when he saw you gently pat Todoroki’s shoulder and whisper something in his ear. What he didn’t know was that he was being watched and a small plan slowly began spinning into action.

 Todoroki gently smiled at the soft way you always spoke to him. You were one of the few who took care of not overstimulating him with loud and brash actions. So, he decided to give you an extra birthday gift. He carefully watched Bakugou glare at him as your hand squeezed his shoulder. He slowly stood and gave you a very big hug. He relished in the warmth but not before meeting the explosive boy’s gaze and sending him an obnoxious smirk. He saw the moment the boy snapped; a loud growl ripped through his throat and into the world. He marched through the common room loudly, silence engulfing everyone as Todoroki let go of you.

“What in the world…?” you spoke under your breath.

“He’ll be back.” He smiled. “Make sure you’re ready though.”

You blinked owlishly at the boy as everyone began chatting and enjoying the music again. You sat in Uraraka’s lap as Iida and Deku told a funny story, unaware of the surprise you were about to receive.

 Bakugou’s gaze locked on you as he stomped back into the small party. A grocery bag was in his hand, and he suddenly felt very inadequate. He had been buying you things for special events for a while now… but he always chickened out. Today was the day, though. He would grow a pair and finally give you everything he had ever seen that reminded him of you. He pushed through his anxious thoughts, eyes burning in fury as he watched you enjoying whatever Deku was saying. He watched as Uraraka held you loosely in her lap and felt jealousy combust his heart. He stomped over to you and before anyone could react lifted you out of Uraraka’s lap and over his shoulder. You let out a yelp as you felt yourself become a human sack of potatoes. Your friends began to protest but Kirishima and, surprisingly, Todoroki calmed them down. You heard Mina let out a loud finally before Jirou had covered her mouth with her hands.  Todoroki met your gaze and gave you a small thumbs up. He watched as your face turned even more bewildered and he chuckled. Now who was dense?

  The world was upside down as Bakugou carried you to who knows where. You tried to lift yourself but each time you tried, Bakugou would jostle you until you hung upside down again. So, you just gave up and permitted whatever this was, to happen. You let his sweet aroma calm you and enjoyed the cool summer breeze. It wasn’t until you heard some running water that you felt him slow down. Carefully he placed you on your feet, his eyes studied every line of your face. You felt yourself ignite under his stare; heart thumping so hard you thought he could hear it. Wordlessly he grabbed your hand and led you to the small fountain. You warmed at the feel of his rough hand in yours. His skin was hardened from all his training and explosions, but you didn’t mind. Those hands meant work, and dedication. They meant passion and maybe even love. 

Bakugou sat you both on a small bench nearby and shoved the grocery bag into your lap.

“What-“

“Dammit! Just open it… please.” He grumbled, his cheeks dusting pink.

You nodded hesitantly but proceeded to pull the stuff out. Your heart began beating a mile a minute as you began taking out your favorite snacks and candies from the bag. There was also very cute elephant stationary, but the icing on the cake were the plushies inside. There was a plushie for one of each of your favorite heroes. You looked at the stuffed toys in amazement. Easily recognizing Miruko, Eraserhead, and Thirteen. You hugged the plushies to you tightly as you looked at the boy.

 “Bakugou, this is too much. I don’t deser-“

“Yes, you do.” He snapped, “You deserve all that and more.”

“But I… I don’t get it.”

He turned towards you; his eyes full of unspoken emotions he was just dying to get out of his system. He grabbed the plushies in your arms, careful not to get his sweat on them, and began bagging all of your gifts.

“Of course, you don’t, dumbass.” He snarked, “You’re always making sure everyone’s happy, that everyone’s okay.”

“Yes but I don’t do it for-“

“Let me finish, dammit!” he froze at his own tone of voice but relaxed when he felt your hand on his. Gently coaxing his words out of him. The warmth that radiated from you was comforting and reassuring. His hands tightened around the bag he held as he let out a strangled breath.

“Who’s going to take care of you?” he asked softly. “Who’s going to make sure you are happy and safe and… I just… I want to… uh… I want to be the one…” He trailed off as he met your eyes uncertainly, his cheeks turned pink as he watched you slowly realize what his words meant.

 You took the bag from his hands gently and replaced it with your hands. He suspiciously watched as you scooched closer to him. He could almost smell the sweet scent of vanilla that always seemed to follow you. He had to shake his head to be able to focus on you and not that appealing aroma.

“I was hoping someone special would do that…” you kept your gaze steady on the boy. “Someone strong, loyal, brave,” his chest puffed up but then deflated at your next words, “sweet, caring, and kind.” He let go of your hands slowly, but you stared at him, clearly puzzled.

He wouldn’t look at you, he hunched over as he looked anywhere but you.

“You’re right… you do deserve someone like that. Dammit! I don’t know why I thought…” your heart broke as you watched his confidence crumble, “it could be me.” He whispered.

He cursed himself for letting his hopes soar, but you were right. You deserved someone gentle, not a brash hot head like him. Someone who could actually make you happy. Someone who couldn’t blow you up by holding your hand. Who wouldn’t mind sappy romantic dates and long stupid walks on the beach. He didn’t dare look at you, shame burning through him. Why the hell did he ever think he was good enough?

You studied the boy and began to feel something stir in you. Something hot, fiery, and very dangerous. You felt your hands ball up into fists as the idiot in front of you misunderstood you completely. You felt yourself explode as you witnessed him become so small in front of you. You couldn’t let him feel this way, you hated how doubt filled the boy who had slowly grown his way into your heart. So, like everything you did in life, you followed your gut and you moved before you could think.

 Bakugou blinked hard as your hands grabbed his cheeks and pulled his face towards yourself. Fury burned in your gaze and the poor boy couldn’t understand why. Didn’t you just reject him? What did you want now?

“Listen to me well, Bakugou Katsuki.” You frowned. “I was trying to be romantic and describe you, you idiot.”

“But I’m not…”

“Yes, you are.” You cut him off firmly. “You may be a little rough around the edges and grumpy and hot headed.” He looked away and grumbled, making you smile a bit. “But, under all that gruff and snarky exterior there is an amazing hero. There is kindness, there is tenderness, and there is definitely someone I have grown to care for and like and maybe even-“

 You felt his hard body slam against your chest, his arms wrapped around you tightly. He almost knocked you off the little bench, but you had managed to catch both of you. You did your best to right yourself and felt him slump against you. You tried to catch your breath but his hold on you was almost suffocating… or was that just you drowning in this moment? Your hands rubbed up and down his back soothingly as he carefully let go. You watched in amazement as he settled so close to you, you could feel his minty breath fanning over your face. He rested his forehead on yours and let out a deep sigh. It was as if he was letting himself enjoy your presence fully for the first time. As if all his tensions and worries had been erased with one embrace. You felt him lean closer, but he hesitated. A warm rough hand caressed the skin of your cheek and you nuzzled into his touch.

“Can…I…” He pulled back; cheeks red as he eyed your lips yearningly.

 You touched your lips to his, in answer. It was short and sweet. He seemed dazed by it at first, but then a large feral grin covered his face. Before you could take a breath, he was reuniting with your lips. His hands still on your cheeks as your hands tangled into his hair and grabbed his shirt. It was sloppy and explosive and even a bit wild, but it was all him. And you found yourself sinking deeper into him; you met each other’s lips again and again. Hands tangling in hair, arms pulling each other impossibly closer. Both warming and loosing yourselves to hormones and each other’s touches and kisses. You felt him finally take a breath and separate from you. You felt yourself gasp for air; his eyes never left you nor your bruised lips. You hadn’t even noticed that you were also lightly panting. Your head was spinning from the kisses, you were lost in crimson. You felt like you were burning under his touch and gaze. His eyes shone with desire and tenderness as he brushed your hair back.

“I’ve been dying to do that.” he murmured, as you struggled to catch your breath.

You felt your cheeks heat up as he gently leaned forward and kissed your cheek lovingly. His thumb ran over where his lips had just graced, and he smiled.

 Blood splattered everywhere as you held your lover’s body. Someone shooting him out of the sky, him falling. Helplessly spinning into the earth. Fears that thankfully had never come to be but plagued your mind every time he left on one of his secret missions or patrols. Fears that left you with many sleepless nights and tired aches all over your body.

 You thought you hid it well from him, but you didn’t. Keigo could see how drained you were when you woke. He could feel how you would slouch against him when he hugged you, or how you seemed to never want to let go when he left in the mornings. Like a child afraid of letting go of a parent’s hand, too afraid they would leave them there or lose them forever. It was this hyper awareness, and his care for you, that alerted him of your muffled gasps and sniffles.

 Blearily he opened his eyes and sat up. He stretched his wings, careful not to smack your form with them. After he wiped the slobber trail off his chin, he turned towards you and frowned at the sight. You were a trembling mess. Your chest rose and fell quickly, and a deep unsettling grimace distorted your face… or at least the parts he could see clearly. He gently reached over and took the pillow away from you. Your hands gently let go as you realized you had failed in your endeavor of keeping your pain silent. Shame turned your cheeks a dark pink as you struggled to look away at the broken-hearted look your boyfriend gave you.

 Keigo gently reached out towards your figure. Strong hands grabbed your arm and shoulder and pulled you into his warmth. You found yourself settled in his lap, arms embracing you completely. Feathers brushed against your body and enveloped you in red. He sat against the headboard, pillows cushioning him as he slowly began rubbing warm and sleepy circles into your back. You felt his lips rest onto your forehead and his sweet voice close to your ear.

“Wanna talk ‘bout it?” He whispered tenderly, fingers tangling through your hair slowly.

You buried your face into his chest, and you felt his wings somewhat hug you further against his body. You slowly shook your head and prayed he didn’t push further.

“It’s the nightmares, right? The ones about me.” He felt you tense and knew he was right.

 He frowned a bit and began to slowly lay down with you in his arms. He knew you didn’t like it when he pushed, but he hated seeing you this way. He hated feeling useless. He slid himself slowly downwards until his head was settled once again on his pillow. You were nestled carefully between his feathers and arms, body sprawled on top of him. He gave you the safest embrace he could think to give, he hoped the feathers wouldn’t tickle you awake. He pressed your head against his chest, and you closed your eyes as you heard his heart beating steadily on. No stutter nor care in the world. He nuzzled his face into your hair and pressed a kiss into the crown of your head. He softly caressed your cheeks and ran his fingers through your hair. Slowly your heavy eyes began to droop. You felt yourself fall further in love and into his embrace. His hands slowly melted your worries away. The feathers that caressed your shoulder blades further drowned you in comfort and peace. With each kiss and touch, he mended your restless heart and mind.

“I’m here, nugget. I’m not going anywhere.” He reassured as he finally felt your form relax and your breathing even.

He held himself still and tightened his arms around you, his wings forming a cocoon of feathers. He tried to curl around you as much as he could. His arms in a tight and almost desperate embrace. He wished he could fight your fears, he wished he wasn’t the cause of your pain, he wished he could love you even more than he already did. He wished someday your nightmares would go away. Maybe someday he’ll be able to not have to risk his life everyday and worry you sick.