Epicurus Misrepresented, or A Dialogue About the History of Pleasure
Marcus: “My head hurts so much…I can hear my eyelash collide every time I blink, it sounds like a wheat thresher.”
Lucius: “What did you do last night?”
Marcus: “I went out and got super drunk, then left and went to one of those all-you-can-eat buffets. I ended the night at the brothel, where I used some of my tuition money in order to get two girls at the same time! I lived last night.”
Lucius: “Good god man, what is wrong with you. You need to stop living your life like a Cyrenaic.”
Marcus: “…A what?”
Lucius: “Like a Cyrenaic.”
Marcus: “Don’t you mean, like an Epicurean?”
Lucius: “Why would I say that? The Epicureans didn’t indulge in pleasures like that.”
Marcus: “Yes they did; that’s what acting like an Epicurean means, that you act like a gluttonous, lust-filled, orgy lover who lives only in the moment without thinking about the consequences.”
Lucius: “Well, that’s what the modern understanding of the Epicureans is, but it is grossly incorrect. The Cyrenaics were the ones who lived in that fashion, the Epicureans had a lot more in common with the Christian ascetics that followed them.”
Marcus: “Epicureans have things in common with Christians? DO GO ON!!!”
Lucius: “…I shall!”
Lucius: “Epicurus––the founder of Epicureanism, obviously––held that pleasure was the highest good; however, he claimed that the absence of pain was the greatest pleasure. In order to achieve this perfect state removed from all pain, certain pleasures should be pursued and others rejected. Epicurus, therefore, claimed that there are three categories of desires: 1.) Natural and Necessary 2.) Natural and Unnecessary 3.) Vain and Empty. The natural and necessary desires are, basically, what keeps you alive: basic foods and water, clothing to fend off the cold, and some sort of shelter. Vain and empty desires include power, fame, wealth, political office, etc. Natural and Unnecessary desires are a little more hazy. This category includes things that merely vary pleasure: sex, expensive food, exotic wines, etc. Epicurus suggests that the only category of desires that you should pursue are the natural and necessary desires; the other two categories should be eliminated in order to achieve tranquillity (ataraxia). Therefore, once you secure a steady supply of bread, water, any sort of clothing and dwelling, you are set!”
Marcus: “Jesus, that sounds miserably boring.”
Lucius: “Doesn’t it? An interesting doctrine to follow: pleasure should be pursued because it the highest good based on the desires of the majority; however, most pleasures should be rejected because although they might seem like a good idea in the short term, they will result in pain in the long term. Therefore, since the basic necessities can fulfill your needs, you should desire nothing more than those in order to be content.”
Marcus: “Now wait a minute; there has to be more to Epicureanism then that.”
Lucius: “Of course there is, but I am only trying to show you what they believed in regards to pleasure, not their entire system of belief. The Epicureans have an interesting philosophy because of how much of it has been misrepresented throughout the years. I just wanted you to know that when you act like a gluttonous, indulgent, seeker of delights, you are not living in the spirt of the Epicureans, but just like the Cyrenaics.”
Marcus: “And who are these fascinating Cyrenaics then?!
Lucius: “Fuck if I know."
