#cylc

The moment I even thought about Alex leaving, I started tearing up. When we said goodbye, I had dumb tears rolling down. I feel this strange attachment to Alex because I feel like everything I’ve worked for in CYLC these past four years is embodied in him. I marvel at how close we are now, and it’s a bond that I deeply do not want to lose.

In my first year as a Ren Ban AC, I discovered how to become more comfortable around new people. Before, and even during camp, I was awkward and stiff around strangers. I had to learn how to open up. With Alex, what I found most rewarding was watching him open up to me. I don’t even know if I had ever even spoken to him before this year. I’d like to think that my social skills have developed, allowing me to be a competent Counselor, and more importantly, friend.

My second year as an Yi Ban AC, I learned the importance of a strong team, and the significance of a “good run”. During the Touch Game, probably one of the most emotional moments for me was when Alex leaned over and said “Thank you for everything,” when it was really him who I had to thank. His small gesture gave me hope that I gave my ACs a year to remember, maybe even a year they can call their best. I want to have given them what Victoria, Elise, Ben, Anlei, and Aaron gave me: a lasting family.

My third year as a Jia Ban AC, I worked harder than I ever have before. I also began to understand the gravity of the senior year, and I strove to give Shane a camp to remember. I learned about what it meant to be supportive, to always be the third hand if Shane needed an extra. Alex was exactly that for me, and a constant joy to be around. He was my moral support for photo editing nights, he was my rock. He was my “go-to guy” for just about anything that I required—what I hope I was for Shane.

My final year as the Jia Ban C, I found myself. This year was really the culmination of everything I have ever learned. This year I have really realized how far I’ve come. Alex always had a habit of staying latest at all our meetings and waiting with me at night. We’d talk about little life things, casual things that made me feel valued. Even Alex’s smile reassures me that I’m doing something right. And whether or not they tried to, my ACs gave me my greatest year yet—a feat that I didn’t even know was still possible. They are so incredibly important to me, and I still want to be there for them next year, which is the main reason I want to come back as a TA. I love them so much. I deeply appreciate all that they have done for me. I don’t believe that I deserved such an amazing team to back me or someone as charismatic and heartwarming as Alex, but I’m so thankful that I was lucky enough to get all of them. This year, Alex showed me that whatever I was doing, somehow, I was doing it right.