#cyberpride23

Ry's attitude sometimes. He just amazes me. He's just so difficult to explain. See, he's outgoing but at the same time he's not. He wants attention, but again he does not want it. He's out and proud to be gay and definitely makes no secret about it* and if you don't like it, well — 'dann bekommste schon mal eins aufs Maul'-Motto to say it in German. shoulder shrug *Around females however he can be cagey. To his hard luck he turned out to be a 'babe magnet' as well — he appreciates the compliments but well, sorry girls! Before he's gonna tell them his preference he tries to flee unseen in the right moment as in 'excuse me I'm right back' or something like that because he does not know how to explain, feels awkward and does not want to hurt anyone's feelings.

“Fuck that was amazing!” Denny exclaimed as she freshened up, making sure her make up was good and changed into something better to party and walk around in.

Johnny was quiet, already drinking a beer and lighting a cigarette. The rest of the band took the hint and left the two alone.

It was rumored that Johnny and Kerry were sleeping together, they weren’t wrong but also weren’t ready to explain whatever weird situation they had going on. But never in a million years did Kerry think he’d be kissed on stage by Johnny.

“You wanna-“

“No.”

“J-“

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.” Johnny went to leave but Kerry stopped him, holding his wrist. Johnny glared at him, cigarette hanging between his lips and beer in his other hand.

“C’mon man… it’s me! You know I don’t judge-“

“Stop it. I don’t want to talk about this.”

“You have a bi flag on your face, and kissed me on stage. There’s a few things to talk about.”

“There’s not. Nance didn’t make a big deal out of it, why are you? I was copying you.”

Kerry knew that wasn’t true, but also knew Johnny wasn’t comfortable in his sexuality like he was. He knew Johnny battled with his sexuality and masculinity on a daily basis, especially with his band being so shameless about who the slept with. Not that Johnny had any shame when it came to women.

“Fuckin- Fine! You wanna talk, you won’t let this go until we do. Let’s talk.”

Johnny shoved passed him so he wasn’t cornered into the door. Kerry was worried he had crossed the line so far he couldn’t see the line anymore.

But he persisted, as he always does and took a deep breath.

“I just… J you know there’s nothing to be ashamed of right? Especially with us. We won’t judge you for liking dudes. We’ve shared a bed since we were sixteen for Christs sake! Look, I get it-“

“No you don’t get it!”

“Shut up and let me talk.” Kerry’s voice was low, but Johnny lit another cigarette and sat back in his chair.

“I do get it. My dad treated me like fucking trash after he found out I liked men. Called me names, isolated me- Why do you think I ran away to live with Thea?” Johnny was looking down, unable to look at Kerry, who was so unapologetic about what he had been through. But he was here now, and he was so fucking proud of himself for making it here.

Kerry squatted next to him. “Hey? You don’t even need a label okay? As long as you don’t hate yourself for liking dudes. There’s nothing wrong with it. And we sure as hell won’t judge, okay?” Kerry asked, squeezing his knee before standing.

“Now, I’m gonna go find the gayest drink I can find. When you’re ready, you can come find me okay?” Kerry knew he needed space. He wasn’t going to deprive him of that.

Kerry was at the bar with Nancy when he felt a warm chest bump against his back and heard Johnny order a drink. He turned saw the bi flag was still on his face, and he made eye contact with Kerry. Kerry smiled.

“You gonna dance with me?” Kerry asked, making Nancy laugh.

“Do I have a choice?”

“You always have a choice. But no.” Johnny snorted and nodded his head.

“Fine. But Nancy has to come with. I’m not embarrassing myself alone.” Kerry twisted his nipple and huffed.

The rest of the night was perfect, the band danced until they dropped, having to call Rogue to come get them because they were too wasted to stand up. Kerry remembers how Johnny stayed close that night, danced with him, laughed with the others. That was before he truly lost Johnny.

But this isn’t about that. Kerry has always fought for the things he believed in, he was proud of his sexuality, he always had been. He had been made to love as his mother said when she picked him up after a particularly bad night with his father.

Johnny had never cared how people saw him, but he could accept the fact that he was bisexual so easy. But he knew one thing, when he was on that stage with Kerry that day, kissing him in front of everyone, the pictures made headlines and blogs, and everyone saw the pride flag on Johnny’s face.