who is this clover fourth tier royal? what is she about? what is she hiding? and who is she paying attention to?Â
though she is not one to abide by orders and do what she is instructed to do to make her be ranked up to higher tiers, she didnât think that filling out a report would be much of a big deal. a part of her wonders as to why the queen would want her to do this in the first place, considering she expected to do something more⌠verbal rather than something written. but sheâd rather be writing about her experience so far as a âprincess in trainingâ in her room rather than going out and making sure sheâs drinking tea the right way at a garden party.Â
as she reads the prompts of which she should answer in her report, her brows furrowed. why was there so many questions? surely, she isnât expected to answer all of them, is she? no. she is only expected to answer three at least⌠but perhaps she could get on their royal highnesses nerves as a way to continue with being at the fourth tier. she was comfortable here, even if she could be possibly be kicked out of this life if she continued with her fooling around any longer. sheâll give them what they want⌠sheâll give them way more than what they want from her.Â
what would you say is your biggest fears? how would you cope if you were to face them in your life as a princess?Â
what a loaded question! she already knew the answer to this question, but she wasnât sure if she wanted to let it be known to them of all people what it was. then again⌠perhaps if she went on about her answer, theyâll grow tired and end up not reading it all. perhaps she should do that with all of her answers from here on out! that wouldnât be much of an issue, would it?Â
she decides to save that particular question for later because obviously, she wants the least vulnerable answer to be the one the royals will be less likely to read.Â
in fact, she finds herself looking through past a lot of the prompts. of course, she plans on answering all of them, but she wants to make sure she doesnât immediately make the queen think sheâs putting her heart on her sleeve. sheâd rather die than let anyone be aware of that.Â
TRIGGER WARNING FOR DEATH, DEPRESSION, EMOTIONAL ABUSEÂ
in the case you were not in your position in your kingdom right now, what else would you be doing in this moment?Â
an easy question, really. she feels like sheâs made it obvious to everyone about how she really didnât want to be here. she did not wish to be living this life of luxury and power like her mother forced her to. sheâs pretty sure she made some people question why she was here in the first place. even now, her heart still yearns for a certain path that grows distant from her every second she spends in the clover kingdomâor any of the kingdoms, for that matter. the most she can do is daydream⌠that, or have this whole competition for the throne to be over so she can go back to her normal life like she wanted to.Â
she writes the following:Â
âi wish to be a performer like my father. it has been my dream since i was merely a child. i have grown up loving music ever since the day i was born. had it not been for certain circumstances, i would try to pursue my music journey in another country far away from where the kingdoms are. perhaps, even farther away than where my family are. iâd like to believe my father would be happy for now, had i gone for that path rather than the current one iâm in now. as of now, his opinion doesnât really affect my future anymore⌠unfortunately.âÂ
what would you do if your title was suddenly stripped and you were banished from the palace?Â
an interesting question to consider and most definitely something the girl wouldnât really seem to mind that much. though sheâs found some company thatâs made her stay at the clover kingdom, let alone the other kingdoms that surround the center of diamonds, she still would rather be anywhere else but in the position she was in right now. royal life was simply not ahyoungâs calling, no matter who or what tries to convince her otherwise. so, even though many people would consider banishment to be an awful punishment, she mainly saw it as an escape. a ticket to freedom provided by whatever action she has done. of course, she doesnât have the balls to actually do something scandalous enough to get her banished, but if the opportunity was easier than it sounded⌠who was she to reject it?Â
she writes down:Â
âperhaps, iâd continue to live my life as it was before i arrived at the palace. even if my father is not here with me, meaning my journey to having a music career will be more difficult than it was before, i will continue to try and pursue that career path, as i believe it is my destiny. will it be even more complicated, as iâll be known for my banishment? perhaps, but i could also use that as an opportunity to gain attention for what i wish to do in the future. the more people who will pay attention to me, the more likely i am to be successful in the music industry⌠right? thatâs how it works, nowadays!âÂ
onto the next question that wasnât anything too uncomfortable for her.Â
if you could do something that would normally cost you your title but without receiving those repercussions, what would it be?
an interesting question, as ahyoung couldnât really see herself really breaking any rules just because she felt like it. if she wouldnât have to get a bunch of scary punishments for it, she mightâve considered. but with how over-the-top the kingdoms were, especially the queen of clovers herself, ahyoung wouldnât risk to do anything⌠however, if she were to not receive any kind of repercussions, her mind begins to delve into thoughts of what she could do. when she thinks of some ideas, she immediately writes them down on the paper so that she doesnât forget.Â
âiâd slap the queen of clovers in the face. i know that sounds very bold of me and i would never do that intentionally to hurt her majesty. but i feel like if i did that, iâd prove a point to let everyone know how much this entire process means so little to me. not only that, but if i took the opportunity to disrespect her majesty while also getting away with it, i can already imagine how my beloved mother would behave. and i love nothing more than to see her be embarrassed because itâs what she deserves for being so kind and lovely to me.âÂ
which other royal do you think is your biggest competition and why? would you eliminate them if given the chance? why why not?Â
she wasnât really sure if she had an answer for this. because if she had to be truthfully honest, she really didnât care much about the throne. she was only here because her mother forced her to and she was willing to not try at all until the day she eventually finds herself kicked out of the palace for wasting the queenâs time. but of course, stubborn to make sure that the queen plans to not read through all of her answers, she decides to come up with a random answer to this question, based on how she interacts with others.Â
âif i had to be honest, i think that baek dabin would be my biggest competition, considering we are both on the fourth tier in the clover kingdom. she likes to think of me as her main rival and while i donât really see much point in the throne, i like poking fun into the rival concept every now and then because i think itâs entertaining how she thinks iâm actually trying when it comes to this whole entire âroyalty turns to princessâ thing. and though i wouldnât really consider him my biggest competition, i do want to be able to see if i can try and take choi jaejin down. iâm not particular fond of him. i feel like he patronizes me because of my low tier, but not in the way that han hyunsu does. while hyunsu is vocally arrogant and likes being upfront about his dislike for me, jaejin does it in a way that makes me feel uneasy rather than annoyed. really, i feel like i want the hearts prince to actually leave me alone rather than the other⌠who i donât really mind much. that being said, though those are the people who iâd see as competition, i donât think iâd try to eliminate them. i think thatâs reaching a little too far, not to mention i think they have a better chance at getting the throne than me anyways. at least they want it.âÂ
if had had the choice to either a) gain the crown but your best friend is killed, or b) save your best friend but lose the crown, what would you do?
when she reads the word âbest friendâ, her mind automatically jumps to the thought of him: son junyoung. sheâs known the prince since he was practically a baby and the two have been through a lot together, even spending a few years away from each other before rekindling their friendship when ahyoung arrived at the clover kingdom. heâs the person that made her feel comfortable in this new life of hers, considering heâs had more experience with it and he, being the kind hearted gentleman that he is, was willing to help her along the way. to think of a reality in which she was able to get the crown rather than him⌠that sounded unreal, especially given the fact that she feels he deserves it more than she does. itâs not only the fact that she saw no purpose in being official royalty, but itâs more on the fact that jun needed that crown. he needed it for the most selfless reasons, meanwhile ahyoungâs mother wanted her to get it for selfish reasons.Â
besides⌠if she had to witness another death of a loved one that she could be able to prevent from happening, she could never forgive herself. sheâs already lost her father. with the fact that she just got jjuni back in her life, she didnât want to lose her precious friend yet again⌠but forever, this time.Â
âiâd easily choose option b, in which i save my best friend but lose the crown. to me, the crown is not that much of a big deal. it is not the reason why iâve decided to stay a little longer in the kingdom rather than up and quit. my friendships with everyone here is what keeps me going and what makes me try even a little at staying in the palace for longer than i want to. not to mention, i had just reunited with my best friend. to lose him all because iâve decided to be selfish⌠thatâd be a grave sin that iâd never ever be able to recover from.âÂ
what is your biggest desire?Â
easily a question ahyoung could answer. she feels as if most of her answers from before were already indicating it. at the end of the day, what else could she want in life? her true dream life was answered in the first question she answered and though her path to getting to that dream career seems more impossible than it did before, kwak ahyoung still found herself holding onto a little bit of hope.Â
even now, as a royal, she finds herself trying her best to surround herself with whatever she can get of that desire. sheâd play the piano in one of the rooms in the palace and sing to random songs by herself so that she could be able to relieve her stress or anger or whatever upset emotion she felt in that present moment. no matter where she is, that desire always finds a way to reach out to her in the times she needs it, whether it be as solace or even as a friend.Â
âmusic is my desire. it always has been and probably always will be. i still wish to be a musician, but i get enough joy playing the piano and singing songs to myself. i also enjoy going to opera shows in the hearts kingdom whenever i can, even if thatâs not the style of singing iâm totally experienced in. in general, music is my remedy. it is my comfort. it is my love. i would die without it.â Â
and itâs after this question that she returns to the question that threw her off in the first place.Â
what is your biggest fear?Â
âdisappointing my father.âÂ
she wonders if itâs appropriate for her to write more. after all, she wants to ramble as much as she can so that no one would have the energy to read it⌠but at the same time, itâs hard to talk about. after all, itâs the reason why sheâs here to begin with. her mother told her that the least she could do in honor of her dad is do the one thing heâs worked so hard to keep her from being, making it sound as if ahyoungâs wish to not be a princess was a burden to the whole family. and even if she hasnât said it, a part of her wonders if her mom thinks the same as her. that if it hadnât been for her, heâd still be here right now.Â
itâs all ahyoungâs fault as to why sheâs here. she just refuses to admit it because she wants to still find herself likeable.
she doesnât want to believe her motherâs words, no matter how much they apply to her.Â
what is your biggest secret? (when answering this question, know that this answer is confidential and only the highness of your kingdom will read it.)Â
âfuck off.âÂ
they did not need to know about her guilt over the accident. no one needed to know that she was the one who was driving the car. that had she been more careful, this whole entire situation couldâve been avoided. sure she didnât mean to do it. the accident was simply an accident! but even then, the girl wakes up in the middle of some nights drenched in sweat, haunted by the nightmares in which she sees the car crashing right into them, the car flipping over on its side and how she screams for her dadâs name before she sees black.Â
she doesnât trust herself to get behind the wheel. hell, she canât even trust herself to be at the front seats. she knows itâs not her fault. she knows that itâs not her fault that the car came at her. their light was green, after all. it was the other driverâs fault. but even so, she remembers waking up in that hospital room and crying when she heard of the news. because at the end of the day, she was the one near him. she couldâve saved him at that moment.Â
but she didnât.Â
what is your biggest regret?Â
kwak ahyoung is a flawed human being.Â
regardless if it was against her wishes, she could have complied with her motherâs pleas of getting her into the royal life earlier on. that way, she wouldnât be as much of a burden in the family.Â
she wouldnât have burdened her father with a wish that heâd have to fight with the hopes of it coming true and seeing her smile. so that way, on the day after his funeral, she wouldnât have been told by her mother about how she had to make it up to him for burdening him so long until the day that he died.Â
that way, she wouldnât have yelled at jun for leaving her for the royal life, seeing him doing it for his family as an âact of betrayalâ because he told her a completely different reason. she wouldnât have cursed at him and told him that she hope sheâd never see him again.Â
she wouldnât be here in this palace, despite her wishes against it, because of the accident that was caused by her. because of her fatherâs sacrifice for her.Â
with a sigh, she writes down her last answer before completing her report.Â
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i donât know whether i should be happy or upset that iâve run into you @cwnjunâ
past thread (again!)
dread had been accompanying her to this kingdom ever since her mother told her the news of what would happen now that her father was out of the picture. but the moment she stepped foot out of the ride and onto the entranceway of the clover palace, she knew that all hopes and dreams of becoming a singer were farther than they were before. perhaps she shouldâve given them up after waking up from that car accident, but who is kwak ahyoung if not stubborn until the very end?Â
after her tour on the very first day, she immediately resorted to her room and stayed there for the rest of the night. she did not bother to come down for dinner, saying that she was âexhausted after all the packing and unpackingâ when in actuality, she wanted to take some time to reflect on how sad her life had gotten ever since that very day. though she was in the kingdom of clovers, she felt as if sheâs been cursed with bad luck.Â
she wasnât able to sleep on her first night there. hopefully the longer she stays there, the more comfortable sheâll be in a new environment, regardless if she liked it there or not.Â
after drinking a cup of coffee and eating a small breakfast, she takes the moment to explore the palace by herself. she thought that maybe if she took the time to explore the palace by herself, sheâd be able to enjoy it herself as well. the palace is beautiful, as she remembered it to be the first time she visited when she was a child. it was so long ago, so there was certainly some changes that she expected to see as well as places sheâd recognize because it hasnât changed at all.Â
the star maze was definitely a place that caught her attention while on the tour, so she found herself wandering back there to admire it. it reminded her of a time in which sheâd felt more at peace... more happier, even. she wouldâve loved this if she was that same little girl that dragged her father by the hand so that heâd run after her while she would excitedly wander. but of course, carelessly wandering as an adult comes with consequences as she bumps into another person while there. thatâs expected of her, though. though her distracted soul has never gone away, there was something new that managed to make ahyoungâs unlucky life more difficult: her clumsiness.Â
âah, sorry. i wasnât paying attention,â she says with a light bow of her head. as she looks up to see who the tall figure that she bumped into was, her childlike smile drops into a look of shock. itâs a bit hilarious, considering the fact that she should already be aware that this familiar face would be here... but of course, he was the only change to this palace that she didnât expect to run into.Â
â...oh... junyoung... long time no see...â she starts off awkwardly.Â