#cwealf

Who doesn’t love a Top 10 List?

You’ll want to bid early and often to get to take home these special items. Buy your event tickets today since the RSVP deadline is September 24th! Join our event on Facebook to stay updated leading up to and after the event!

10. Thomas Hooker Brewing Company

The brewery owner says that during the holidays, nearly 50% of the sales come from people with the name Hooker. You don’t need a last name of Hooker to bid on four passes for a brewery tour and tasting.

9. New Britain Museum of Art

 You can snatch up four guest passes to use for family members that come to visit you for a weekend. You can show off this museum as the first designated museum in the country of strictly American art. Go USA!

8. Christina’s Cookies

I’m in a sugar trance just looking at all the cookies that I could savor from Christina. You can take home a gift certificate to choose the ones you want to dunk in milk.

 7. Gouveia Vineyards

Cheryl Curtis won our online quiz contest guessing this location. Hints: This location adheres to skills of Portuguese wine making. The town of this location starts with a W. None other than the beautiful Gouveia Vineyards in Wallingford where you’ll enjoy 5 wine tasting passes.

6. CT Science Center

Did you know it is the first science center to generate most of its needed power from an on-site fuel cell? Bid on four admission passes to entertain your whole family for the day.

5. Mark Twain House & 1st Edition Mark Twain Book

You can transport yourself to late 1800s Hartford with two passes to the Mark Twain House and then curl up at home with your 1st edition of one of his most popular tales.

4. Lunch w/ Congressman Joe Courtney & Alice Pritchard

That’s right. You get to bid on a spectacular lunch date with our Congressman Courtney and CWEALF’s Executive Director Alice Pritchard. No doubt the value of this item is priceless!

3. Okemo Mountain Resort

Take the trip to Ludlow, VT to enjoy what Parents Magazine named its Top US Family Snow Resort. You’ll bid on two 1-day lift passes to take on the 1,700 vertical foot trails.

2. Hartford Stage

Kevin Bacon may be making the box office sizzle, but any production is worthy of a sell-out. Two tickets to a Hartford Stage production are up for grabs to the highest bidder.

1.      ?

What is the #1 auction item this year? Stay tuned to Facebook for a behind the scenes look at the items you can bid on to support CWEALF!

The Basics

Felice Gray-Kemp is Deputy General Counsel of Amphenol Corporation, a Fortune 500 electronics manufacturer for which she and her team provide global legal support for all matters globally. Prior to joining Amphenol, Felice held several legal leadership roles at Chemtura Corporation, Honeywell International, and United Technologies Corporation. While at UTC, Felice co-founded the Aurora Women and Girls Foundation with a group of dynamic, accomplished women who serve as her mentors to this day.  

Felice is a New Bern, NC and Long Beach, NY native who came to Connecticut in 1987 to obtain her B.A. in English from Yale University.  She has considered Connecticut her home ever since.  She received her J.D. from the University of Connecticut and an LL.M. in taxation from Boston University. 

Who is one woman that has made a difference to you and why?

Of course, I would have to say my mother. She is my template for enduring strength, creativity and resilience.  She met my father at age 13 and was married and a mother in her twenties.  She was my parent, best friend, supporter, and coach.  Over the years, the relationship has evolved from me being an adoring fan who thought Mommy was a superhero, to bratty teenager to a woman with my own child who has a fresh appreciation for the sacrifice and devotion that she showed me.  I come from a line of strong, no-nonsense women with incredibly generous and self-sacrificing spirits. 

  If you could sum up your life philosophy is one sentence, what would it be?

Never look back in regret, only forward in hope and wisdom that the lessons of the past will provide the road map for success in the present and future.

Looking back on your own leadership path, what advice would you share with younger women today?

Find your authentic voice--what works for you, keeps you grounded and true to yourself. It is the voice that guides you so that you think and do things in a manner of which those who came before and after you would be proud.  Don't try to be someone else.  That job is taken.  Be the most authentic, turned on about life person you can be.

That comes with knowing what you want.  In the din of the world telling  you what you want or should want, come to know yourself well enough to separate the noise from the truth.  Then, experiences, relationships, jobs, will all feel natural rather than forced; things to celebrate rather than tolerate.  The energy that you would otherwise expend into forcing a fit into others' idealized versions of who you are and what you should be is then transferred to the truth and joy of being who YOU want to be.

To the extent the person you want to be is a positive, open person (even open to being proven wrong sometimes), you will attract more good experiences and people to share life's ups and downs with.  That will help you build confidence not only in yourself but the goodness of others---because we need others, like it or not.  There is not one good thing that any of us have or did alone.

That confidence and positivity will be your sword and shield when you have to speak truth to power (including to your subordinates, who you will find have a power of their own) or otherwise experience self-doubt.  But the confidence cannot extend into arrogance; a negativity that will distract everyone, including you, from achieving your personal and career goals. 

Work life balance is often illusory.  I think of it as more of a see-saw of work-life integration.  You cannot have it all at the same time. We must prioritize.

Outsource what you comfortably can to save your time for what matters most to you and others whom you care about.

Sometimes leading is best done by either doing nothing or following; letting others "step up."  Wonder Woman is a comic book character.  Let's just aim to be wonderful women.

What is your favorite quote by a woman?

“I can show you better than I can tell you.”

This is a complex saying by my grandmother, Bessie V. Dobbins.  She was a domestic by profession, but also an entrepreneur.  Among other things, she sold Avon and was among the top 10% of sales in the North Carolina county in which I grew up.  She was a consummate networker and, had she been born in a different time would have been honored by others more frequently than I.

The quote means "my actions will tell the truth with a level of specificity and consistency that my words cannot."  It also can serve as a slight threat, "If you jump on that couch one more time....well, I can show you better than I can tell you...."

CWEALF was incorporated on August 17, 1973, making it one of the oldest women’s rights organizations in the country.

Over lunches this summer the CWEALF staff has been looking through old photo albums filled with pictures of the founders, early board members and staff, interns and volunteers—all the people that have made CWEALF the vital organization it is today. Along with all the black and white photographs are newspaper articles compiled by a clipping service CWEALF hired to collect news stories mentioning CWEALF and any news related to feminism. It’s been fun and informative to learn about CWEALF’s early work and how times have changed.

Here’s a story worth sharing again. Former CWEALF Executive Director, Susan Meredith, wrote the following piece for CWEALF’s 25th Anniversary publication.

One day in 1976, I came back to the CWEALF New Haven office after lunch to find a reporter and cameraman from Channel 8 in my office. It turned out that the Supreme Court had just announced a decision regarding women’s employment rights, and the television station wanted my comments for the evening news.

The case was Gilbert v. General Electric, in which the Supreme Court decided that discrimination against pregnant people was not discrimination against women forbidden by Title VII of the 1964 Civil Rights Act.  Although we had been anticipating a decision in the case, I had not heard the decision before I faced the television camera. It was quite a challenge to make a quick, articulate response to Judge Rehnquist’s conclusion that pregnancy was not related to gender!

The Gilbert case was my first introduction to the fax machine. I was going to New York University on the following day to talk to the Women’s Law Association about women’s legal issues. I had to talk about Gilbert but there was no way to get a copy of the decision in time. (Unimaginable in these days of the Internet, but true).  Judith Maynes, who was on our board, was counsel to SNET. She said that she could have someone in Washington pick up the decision and send it to her over the telephone. She did, I read it on the train, and the law students and I talked about it. I don’t know whether they were more impressed that I had read the decision or that I had received it on the telephone!

CWEALF is proud of the work we have done to help women, girls and their families, and we are indebted to the many staff and board members, volunteers and funders who made this work possible. Read more about our history and impact and view a timeline of CWEALF’s work through the decades here.  

Pictures: Former Executive Director, Susan Meredith at CWEALF’S 2013 Annual Awards Dinner, CWEALF Summer Open House 1973, CWEALF former Executive Directors Anne Stanback, Leslie Gabel-Brett, current Executive Director Alice Pritchard, and Susan Meredith.

CWEALF is honored that Karen DeMeola is one of our 2015 One Woman Makes a Difference Awardees. As we countdown to the October 6th event (get your tickets here!) we have a chance to learn more about our honorees. To get beyond their impressive bios, we’ve asked each of the awardees several questions that illuminate even more about their own leadership journeys. Get to know 2015 awardee Karen DeMeola:

The Basics

Karen DeMeola currently serves as Assistant Dean of Student Life at UConn School of Law. She received her undergraduate degree in psychology from UConn and her J.D. from UConn School of Law. After graduation from law school, she was a civil rights litigator whose practice focused primarily on employment discrimination, police brutality and housing discrimination.

Dean DeMeola is the Vice President of the Connecticut Bar Association and serves on the board of the Family Equality Council. Her prior volunteer board service has included True Colors Inc.; the Lawyers Collaborative for Diversity; and the Law School Admission Council Subcommittee on Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender Issues.

Who is one woman that has made a difference to you and why?

 My grandmothers both made significant difference in my life. They shared similar stories; immigrant parents and siblings, financial difficulties and the necessity to quit school in their early teens to work at the Seamless Rubber Factory in New Haven. Through both of them I learned that despite what life might throw at you, whether poverty, the loss of a job, a spouse or a child, we all have the strength to persevere. We might not all use that strength or know, in our darkest hour that we possess that power, but it is there. Their stories shaped how I think about love, loss, family, faith, and life. I miss them terribly but they are so much of who I am and how I see the world.

If you could sum up your life philosophy is one sentence, what would it be?

Live the best life you can, laugh a lot and let people know they are loved.                                     

Looking back on your own leadership path, what advice would you share with younger women today?

I often tell young women to be true to themselves, to not compromise (too much), to learn from everyone they encounter and mentor those behind you. I realize that I say this from a privileged vantage point. It is not easy to stay the course and be outspoken about issues that are important especially when you are just building a professional identity. It is not easy to jump in and be a leader when there are political and social barriers to doing so. Young women who are hesitant to lead in their current workplace or who are unable to do so for other reasons should find other avenues to gain the experience whether through volunteer work, participation on boards of directors or community involvement. Watch leaders to determine what style works and what doesn’t. Be authentic and listen.

 What is your favorite quote by a woman?

 “The caged bird sings with a fearful trill of things unknown but longed for still and his tune is heard on the distant hill for the caged bird sings of freedom.” - Maya Angelou I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

As CWEALF honors our One Woman Makes a Difference honorees at our Annual Awards Dinner, there is actually one woman’s name that is a part of every year’s celebration. Since the start of the annual event, Maria Miller Stewart is the name that has adorned each award.  

 Maria Miller Stewart is not a name often known in our country’s history. But, once you start to learn about her it is easy to see why Maria was chosen to be a part of CWEALF’s legacy and inducted into the CT Women’s Hall of Fame in 2001.

Maria’s life was one of domestic servant, activist, and educator but, she is most widely recognized as the very first known American woman to lecture publicly on any political issue. Imagine that. In 1832 in our country, no woman before her had stood up in a public forum to share her political beliefs. Maria is also the first African American woman to lecture about women's rights and black women's rights, the first American woman to speak to a mixed race and gender audience, and the first African American woman to make public anti-slavery speeches.

For Maria in her time, just using her voice was seen as a defiant act. CWEALF is grateful that Maria led the way for our organization and each of our honorees to use our voices to stand for gender equality.

Last Friday, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples have the fundamental right to marry in every state. In the historic 5-4 ruling, the Court declared all states’ same-sex marriage bans unconstitutional under the U.S. Constitution’s 14th Amendment’s Equal Protection and Due Process Clauses. The Court also found that same-sex couples have the right to have their marriages legally recognized in every state.

This case,Obergefell v. Hodges, was first brought in 2013 by a same-sex couple who married legally in Maryland but lived in Ohio, which banned same-sex marriage. When one husband was not permitted to be listed as the other’s surviving spouse on an Ohio death certificate, he filed suit, claiming that the state law was discriminating against same-sex couples legally married in other states.

This Supreme Court decision means a number of important changes for same-sex couples who now can marry in all states. They will now be able to adopt children, be put on their spouses’ health insurance and visit their spouses in hospitals. They also have access to all governmental rights and benefits always accorded to straight married couples, including tax benefits and immigration status protection, as well as rights to Social Security, military and veteran benefits, and pensions.

When CWEALF helped to establish Love Makes a Family in 2000, we expected a long journey to full equality.  We worked hard to educate legislators, community leaders and members of the faith community about the importance of marriage equality for same sex couples.    We held rallies, press conferences and house parties to drive home the need to protect and respect same sex couples and their families.   When Connecticut’s Supreme Court decision came down in 2008 declaring same-sex marriage legal in the state, we were elated but we all knew that the real fight was at the federal level. Last Friday will go down as one of the most important days in our country’s history and we are so proud to have played a part in this national movement. 

Congrats again to all who made this victory possible, especially Mary Bonauto from GLAD in Boston who argued the case before the Supreme Court. 

Love Wins!!!!!!!!!

Amidst the media frenzy surrounding Caitlyn Jenner this month (who – fun fact - is a graduate of Newtown High School), Connecticut quietly joined the likes of Vermont, Rhode Island and at least five other states by adopting a law that will modernize the process for transgender people to change their birth certificate to accurately reflect their new gender. The bill, which would permit people to change the gender designation on their birth certificates by obtaining a statement from their physician or psychologist, now awaits approval from Governor Malloy, who has long been an avid supporter of transgender rights.

Connecticut policy currently requires a court order as well as an affidavit from a surgeon performing gender reassignment surgery to change a birth certificate, a law that does little to reflect an understanding of the challenges transgender people face in aligning their identified gender and documentation. The current law fails to take into account the experiences of the majority of the transgender population without the resources or celebrity of Caitlyn Jenner who are unable to undergo surgery for a variety of reasons, such as an absence of insurance coverage or a disqualifying medical condition.

The new change reflects an increasing awareness of the workings of gender dysphoria, a condition for which surgery is just one of multiple treatment options. Gender dysphoria, previously named gender identity disorder, is identified by mental anguish and distress resulting from a misalignment between an individual’s biological sex and one’s gender identity. Because relieving gender dysphoria is a highly individualized process, nonsurgical procedures are often more affordable, accessible and appropriate treatment plans.

Rather than requiring gender-confirming surgery, the change will enable transgender individuals to modify the gender marker on their birth certificates by instead providing proof of “surgical, hormonal or other treatment,” a more appropriate standard that better supports the needs of a diverse population. The bill will also align birth certificate amendment policy with requirements for changing other types of documentation in Connecticut, which surprisingly are not uniform. The bill’s requirements, for example, are the same as changing the gender indication on a Connecticut driver’s license.

The benefits don’t end there. Aside from the awkwardness of having to explain why an individual’s sex listed on his or her birth certificate does not match with the identity he or she projects, inconsistent documentation can also lead to denied employment or housing. As a result, transgender people are significantly more likely to rely on state assistance in both of these arenas. This change will lift an economic burden not only from the shoulders of transgender people, but from the state’s as well.

CWEALF, a historically strong supporter of LGBT rights, joined forces with organizations including the American Civil Liberties Union CT, Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition, Gay & Lesbian Advocates and Defenders (GLAD), Hartford Gay & Lesbian Health Collective, National Center for Transgender Equality, Planned Parenthood Southern New England, Quinnipiac University School of Law Civil Justice Clinic, True Colors, and the UConn Rainbow Center, to advocate for the passage of the bill, An Act Concerning Birth Certificate Amendments. Its approval in both the House and Senate marks an important and progressive step towards justice for the transgender population. As one of the first states to acknowledge gender identity and expression in its laws, Connecticut achieved yet another step towards accepting people as they self-identify, especially with regard to their gender.