#cwcdefense

Caption: Epilogue: Agust 9, 2008, CWCville Forest…

WILD: No way! Is that…?

MAGI-CHAN: It is.

WILD: Okay. But how?

MAGI-CHAN: The moment has finally arrived. It is time to rescue our master and creator from the void of time.

MAGI-CHAN: Your Vine Whips are required as a form of rope.

MAGI-CHAN: I will go in, secured with the vine, then I will tile a portion around Chris as well, and after I tug three times, you pull us out of the void. Whatever you do, do not cut or let go of the Vine Whip.

WILD: I’m secured to this tree. Just go, I’ve got you.

Caption: A minute later…

CHRIS: Cool, let’s get out of here.

Caption: Fifteen minutes of dialogue, and a transformation, later…

CHRIS: …And that’s the plan. Y’all will meet up with me in Tennessee at 2:30 PM, eastern. I have my to-do list to check-off. !Hasta luego!

WILD: Good luck, Christian!

We cut to two months down the line, when it’s finally time to revive Chris. Wild and Magi-Chan find a time portal over the jungle, they retrieve Chris from the Time Void lickety-split, and it’s like nothing ever happened. In contrast to the whole issue’s worth of plot that preceeded Chris getting lost in the void, his rescue happens in the space of a page. Chris even lampshades how much he just wanted to get this scene out of the way by cutting out the dialogue and the transformation sequence entirely by way of a jump-cut and a joking caption. That said, given what Chris and Sonichu do in Tennessee the next day, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was intentionally done to obscure the true nature of the plans he was concocting.

Chris seems to have had a wardrobe change in the Time Void as when he fell into the void he was wearing The Classic, now he’s wearing what’s called “The Impostor”.

CHLOE: Noooo!!!

CHLOE: Sarah’s panda-ear headband… she knew she couldn’t escape, so she set us free so we wouldn’t burn with… waahhh!!!

BLAZEBOB: I know, Chloe, but you and I, we have to move on and continue in honor of Team Panda-Halo.

CHLOE: You’re right… but I just can’t believe she’s really gone…

Caption: In memory of Sonichu/Rosechu fan, Sarah Cassandra McKenzie, who died January 2009 in the Australian bushfires. She remains my good friend in my heart forever.

MARY LEE {thought}: Oh well… he wins this time. I’m tired and I’ve done enough for now.

MARY LEE: Count, ensphere me and take us home.

COUNT GRADUON: Yes, Slaweel.

COUNT GRADUON {thought}: She’ll fall soon…

Caption: Meanwhile, below…

SONICHU: Thank you for catching me, sweetheart.

ROSECHU: That’s okay, honey-bolt. We watched your bought from down here. Why did you save her?

SONICHU: Well, as a hero, I could not help but to answer her cry. Besides which, the true final blow on that witch belongs only to Christian. Now, let’s help put the city back together, then let’s head home for dinner and “Mary Poppins” with our children.

Sign: Country Cookin’

Sign: CWCville Shopping Center

Let’s be clear here - Sonichu retreated. No one said that Mary Lee accepted defeat until she said she accepted defeat. Mary Lee was just saved by Sonichu, then he ran away, and then she said “I’m going to throw in the towel”. And despite the fact that Graduon just said that he was more than okay with letting Mary fall to her death, she tells Graduon to make a bubble, they’re going home. Graduon even ominously states “she’ll fall soon” - but Graduon, you’re carrying Mary several hundred feet above the ground. Unless removing this psychic bubble at this height would be liable to kill you too, why don’t you take the opportunity to kill her right now? Nevertheless, we’re meant to take away from this that Graduon and Mary’s formerly solid relationship is now on the rocks and their partnership will soon come to an end.

As an inverse of the earlier scene where Sonichu caught the unconscious Rosechu, Rosie returns the favor by catching Sonichu. She questions why Sonichu didn’t let Mary fall. He answers with the expected “I’m a classical, bleeding-heart hero who saves friend or foe”, with the added note that he believes he shouldn’t be the one to finish off Mary Lee, rather since this has been Christian’s vendetta all this time, only he has the motive to do her serious harm.

MAGI-CHAN {telepathy}: Just an update for you two; we’ve managed to take out some of the baddies, all of the other electric-hedgehogs are aiding the medics with transport of the injured citizens and to-be-unbrainwashed jerkops, all though some of them didn’t make it sadly. The Autobots are cleaning up the the PVCCitizen Decepti-clone parts to be transported to the army bases for recycling. The CWC-Power Rangers took down the super-sized B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic with survivable injuries. Then they both shrunk down to their original sizes. Our police and army forces held their ground very well, again, a few casualties within. The mall’s protective dome is starting to weaken, and Slaweel is closing in now. Our defense volunteers are worn out from their hard labor. We had one casualty here; Ivy was trapped in the elevator; the tremors made the floor under her break; she got her neck tangled in the cable. Billy Mays tired to rescue her by breaking her fall, but she got caught, and he tried to climb up to disentangle a rescue. He could not reach and the walls were slippery… just terrible.

MEGAZORD: !Go-Go!

EXCELINA: Have a safe trip back!

Caption: *In memory of Sonichu-Girl, **Ivy O’Niel**

It seems like every other page Chris tops himself in the massive text block department. This one spills over the background! Magi-Chan summarizes the remainder of the battle that Sonichu was not privy to. The hedgehogs have come out victorious in the battle with the jerkops, though not all of the jerkops pulled through. This is the first mention of the deaths of non-named characters - at this point the only fatalities have been Sarah Jackaras, Pandahalo, and, according to supplementary materials, Punchy’s master Shinabe. Now the masses begin to die, a trend that would continue to spiral downward next issue.

But if you were worried that broken Decepti-clone parts would litter the streets of CWCville, don’t you worry, they’re being gathered up and then sold for scrap. Keep CWCville Beautiful!

While we were watching the fight in CWC-Central Park, apparently Mary Lee Walsh had a case of the Rita Repulsa’s and made her monsters grow - in this case, B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic. Chris countered with the obvious choice to fight a giant monster, the aforementioned team of Power Rangers CWCville has on standby (you can see their Megazord in the back there). Despite the idea of Power Rangers fighting a giant B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic being the awesomest idea ever put forth in this comic, we don’t ever see it. This is the greatest waste in the history of the comic. At least we’re told that the two of them survived.

Alas, Ivy wasn’t so lucky. Granted even less of a memorial than Pandahalo, Ivy’s death was explained in Magi’s massive info-dump. Now, the real Ivy supposedly “died” in July of 2009, about two months after he was last in contact with her, apparently a suicide by hanging. Chris attempted to fit her method of death into the context of the comic, that for some reason she was in an elevator (what elevator we’re never explained - since the section before this was about the CWCville Mall, maybe Chris means the elevator there? I always actually assumed that she was supposed to have died in the same apartment that killed Sarah.) So she was hanging around in an elevator shaft, when the floor out from under her broke, and her neck was trapped in the cables that pulled the elevator, so when the floor broke she was hanged by the elevator cables. Okay, what? There is no floor in an elevator shaft. Either she was standing in the elevator when its floor crumbled (which probably would have sent her plummeting to her death but probably wouldn’t have gotten her hanged by the cables), or she was standing on the roof of the elevator with her neck wrapped in the wires when the roof she was standing on gave way and then she was hung by the cables while inside the elevator car? My head is starting to hurt. Anyway Billy Mays, apparently now working for the CWCville Mayorship, tried to break her fall… before she got hung by the cables? Then he tried to disentangle her body, but the walls were wet? WHAT?! WHY?! Why were the walls wet when it’s an elevator that’s indoors?!?! Whatever. Farewell, sweetest Ivy. So much for your GodJesus blessed romance.

At the bottom of the page, I suppose Son-Chu and Excelina are seeing off a helicopter carrying a crate of Decepti-clone parts headed for a dump or something.

Caption: *Rock Throw*

SONICHU {thought}: Obviously a Rock Type.

Caption: *Iron Tail*

LIQUID CHRIS: Augh!!!

SONICHU: Ah-ha! Just as I thought, paper-thin and Robotnik-powered. Doctors! Take this man in for medical treatment, and check his head too.

Sonichu and his doppelganger in brown prepare to duke it out in a proper, turn-based Pokemon fight. Liquid Chris throws the first stone (literally) with Rock Throw. Since Rock Throw is a Rock-Type move, and Liquid Chris wears brown not that unlike the iconography of the Rock-Type, Sonichu immediately jumps to the conclusion that Liquid’s Sonichu form is also a Rock-Type. Chris doesn’t seem to realize though that the moves a Pokemon uses aren’t necessarily indicative of its type, and Mudkip, which is a Water-Type that evolves into a Water/Ground-Type (and in fact resists the Steel-Type move Sonichu’s about to use on Liquid), can learn the move (later generations would add the Timburr line and Landorus as non-Rock-Types that can use Rock Throw).

Sonichu dodges the rocks and counters with his own attack, the Steel-Type attack Iron Tail. Sonichu, being part Pikachu, using the Iron Tail move to counter Rock-Types has its basis in the Pokemon anime, wherein Ash’s Pikachu was taught the move during the Hoenn arc, in order to battle Rustboro Gym’s Roxanne and her team of Rock-Types (though the species was able to learn Iron Tail as early as the Johto games). Ash’s Pikachu has known it ever since and the move has become quite tied to it, though unlike Sonichu here Ash’s Pikachu actually had to train for a whole episode in order to use the move properly. Also note that Pokemon famously can only know four moves at a time, and Sonichu has now used Mega Kick, Double Team, Thunder, and more recently, Rolling Kick and Sky Uppercut. Alright, Sonichu, which ones did you forget? Or have you been blessed with infinite Pokemon moves by the all-powerful CWC?

MAGI-CHAN {telepathy}: Sonichu, the Punislav is taking Rosechu to CWC-Central Park; Giovanni, his crew, and Robotnik will be there with a bad deal. But you will be aided with a slam-dunk and a slice.

SONICHU {telepathy}: Thanks for the horoscopic heads-up, Magi-Chan.

Caption: *Earthquake*

LIQUID CHRIS: So, Sonichu, we finally meet.

LIQUID CHRIS: I B A Chandler, and I’m here to copycatly sieze claim of you hedgehogs and this city from your absent mayor’s domain.

SONICHU: I do not know your true name, but you only wish your false ID claims were true. I won’t let you continue your pretend game anymore!

Magi-Chan’s back as the deus-ex-machina guy by giving Sonichu the rundown he needs to save the day. He outlines the plot of the next few pages: Sonichu will arrive in CWC-Central Park, possibly an amalgamation of both New York’s Central Park as well as Charlottesville’s McIntire Park, to find the Punislav that caught Rosechu in the possession of Giovanni, Doctor Robotnik, and Naitsirhc. They’ll attempt to force him to choose between her safety and the city, but Sonichu will never have to make a decision as Bionic (the slam dunk) and Darkbind (the slice) will save the day for him.

Sonichu’s path towards his beloved is interrupted when an earthquake causes a bump in the road (or maybe the bump was already there and there and there was a coincidental earthquake), Sonichu goes flying, and when he lands he comes face to face with his greatest enemy yet - the brown-shirted impostor.

This is technically the first appearance of Liquid Chris in the comic, although I already covered the later written Gun Comic. Clad in brown, like his real world counterpart, Liquid appears in a Sonichu transformation, not unlike Chris-Chan Sonichu, dubbed “I B A Chandler”. Confusingly, IBAChandler was Solid Chris’s handle, hence the “Ian Brandon Anderson” moniker he came to be known as, while Liquid’s handle was “CChanSonichuCWC”.

Caption: *Makes gun do a 180*

“Makes gun do a 180” is perhaps the most infamous “sound effect” in the entire comic. Much like “crash to grass” and “straight as a miracle bullet”, “makes gun do a 180” is less of a sound effect and more of a descriptor.

The action on this page is a mess, and that’s saying something considering the rest of these pages surrounding it. What I think was supposed to happen is that thing in the top left is an SAV pulling out a gun to shoot at Blake. It looks like on this page that Blake is grabbing his tail, but I think he’s supposed to grab the gun, then shoot a pink laser back at the SAV that pulled the gun on him, as well as the other remaining SAV.

SFX: *Thwack*

SFX: *Boom*

MARY LEE: Help!