#cvvalier

A couple drinks later and Mai was feeling the boost in confidence. It had been a while since she’d had a night out like this. Neon lights illuminating the otherwise dark club. The bass of the music almost enough for her to feel it in her chest. She hit the dance floor with a friend until the other spotted someone of interest. And not long after that, they decided to shoot their shot, leaving Mai by herself. She didn’t mind, though. It was, after all, expected to happen. And that left Mai to scout out the place a little better.

“don’t let the door hit you on the way out !” arguments have happened between the pair, but never got to the point of a FULL BLOWN fight. for weeks, tension has grown between the couple  —  fueled by a constant string of seemingly innocent remarks, from a person both consider a friend, but playing the two like fiddles to break them apart  —  until it snapped, and the consequences were devastating. venom filled comments were thrown around, shouted words that could never be taken back and their bond stretched so thin that it inevitably SNAPPED. dakho has experienced loss in the past, and the hollowness carving in his chest from the love of his life slipping through his fingers matched in intensity with losing the one parent that loved him. problem is, he’s too proud to plead for her to stay, and too damaged to show his wounds. “i’m DONE with you.”

it has been eight months since she’s last seen him. three towns, one city and two dye jobs away from when she left him with nothing but a note scribbled i’m sorry. she didn’t write i love you. didn’t have to — she thought he knew and that’s the problem.

there are times when she thought she caught sight of him. the same pitch-black hair, the same mischief gleaming in midnight eyes. her first instinct is to reach out before the urge comes back, the urge to run. still ludicrous, still inexplicable, the things that she does when she thinks she’s in love. but was she — is she? and was he? or was it all a lucid dream meant to be relinquished and forgotten the next morning and the only mistake they made was trying to hold onto it for far too long?

here she sits at the end of the near-end of a lounge, softly humming a tune inaudible to anyone else. another extravagant gala in a different city, the same lavish champagne sipped from her glass as she watches the socialites and billionaires swarm all over the place. if it was easy before, it’s become effortless by now, to make connections as needed and get out once she has her hands on the lucre. lately she’s been itching for more, the notion of partaking in a heist a tempting lull at the back of her mind. her zealous reveries are cut short when she spots him in the crowd but it can easily be another oversight, a second glance confirms that she’s right.

only that this time, she doesn’t want to be. it is risible, how quickly the sight of him fills her with guilt, almost heavy enough to bring the liar to her knees. it’s still the same, he’s still the antithesis to everything she wants her life to lead.

( but was it truly so terrible — being happy? )

“fuck.” she mutters under her breath, clutches her purse and flees the scene as nonchalantly as she can. having made her way through the crowd in the opposing direction, she enters the balcony and finally lets out a breath when her eyes trail and find the stairs. the sky is in a beautiful blur of rosé and violet, almost a splitting picture of how it was when they’re slow dancing in his living room, almost reminds her of how warm it felt in his arms.

“all my demons run wild, all my demons have your smile.” — la la lost you by niki.

      ❛ I feel like all I do is study .. I need to do something fun. ❜