1. They act the same way around you as they do around their friends.

2. They would go out of their way to bring you food and medicine and walk your dog when you’re sick, even though your place is in the exact opposite direction than would otherwise be convenient to them — and they wouldn’t consider it going out of the way.

3. They’re not afraid to call you on your bullshit, but do it in a way that is kind and not judgmental.

4. They don’t freak out if you don’t text them in x amount of hours, because they feel solid and confident in what you have together.

5. But they also know that if they miss you, it’s on them to text — or better yet, call — and say hi… while not overstepping boundaries and bombarding you with messages (especially if you’re in a meeting).

6. They remember little random things like the fact that you’re in a meeting to begin with, even if you only mentioned it in passing and not so that they knew, but rather because you were venting about your stress level or something only marginally related.

7. Flowers for no reason other than “just because.” (Or a steak dinner if you’re a dude or allergic to pollen or something. But guys can receive flowers, too.)

8. They respect your right to personal space, especially when you need your alone time or to cool down from an argument you both had.

9. The apology they give you (if they were honestly in the wrong) is sincere, and not a half-assed attempt to get you off their back. (But also, when you actually love them, chances are good you won’t be relentlessly reminding them hardcore about how much they messed up, anyway.)

10. They ask before they steal a fry off your plate, but don’t hold it against you when you forget to ask and steal one off of theirs.

11. If some big opportunity arises in your life and they’re not entirely okay with it because it’d uproot both your lives, they’ll actively work to see if there’s some happy medium so that you both can get what you want. This is called a compromise. (And if something huge happens in their life, they consult with you before uprooting your world, too.)

12. They do the chore they know you hate so that you don’t have to do it (even if they hate it, too).

13. They respect when your opinion is unwaveringly different from theirs, and don’t press the issue as to why they’re right and you’re wrong.

14. They don’t judge you for that one verging-on-the-insane obsession they don’t share. (But like, there are limits. Don’t expect someone who loves you to understand why you’d be a stalker.)

15. They’re more concerned about how comfortable you are than they are about how you’re stealing the covers.

16. They know that sometimes, it’s the little moments of affection — all the hands held under the table, the inside jokes and glances that nobody else will notice — that matter most.

17. But they’re also not ashamed to kiss you in public and then post a selfie of it to Instagram every now and again.

18. They’ll share the last bite of something, whether they’re full or you just really want to try it at the last minute.

19. They’re more ready to do something for you than they will ask something from you.

20. For your birthday, they’ll never let it stand that you say you “don’t want anything” or that you don’t want them “to make a big deal” — they’ll do something special for you anyway.

21. They will continually listen to you about family and friend issues, but will push you to make the relationship right, because sometimes just agreeing with you is not in your best interests. (But on the rare occasion when you just really need to vent, they will let you but they will know it’s not their place to join in.)

22. They don’t burden you to take care of them when they’re sloppy or if they’re in a really bad situation, but also trust you enough to let you know what’s gnawing on them and to let you in if you show signs of wanting to carry that load with them.