Cursed Cravings, Chapter 21: Return, My Heart
You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. -from "Wild Geese" by Mary Oliver Contains: 2.6k words | Chapter 1 | Read this story on A03!
Danny had never felt so helpless before.Â
She screamed as Christopher was struck with the part of the ceiling that fell, and it did fuck all. All she could do was fucking watch as her friend crumpled to the ground, too injured to get himself out from underneath it. If she was a normal size, she could have lifted it off herself. But she was tiny and useless and trapped on top of this fucking table, and she had never felt a rage or fear like she did now.
âGet these two out. Get Danny out. Please.âÂ
She knew what was going to happenâshe knew it even as the fake plant next to the table stretched up weakly and wrapped one of its vines around her waist, before picking her up and lowering her to the floor. It grabbed Nathan in another one of its stems before carrying them both through the air and towards the gaping hole in the window.
She hardly even got a chance to see Christopherâs face as she was forced out of the mansion.Â
âSAM!â She tried to fight against the vine that held her, and though it was clear Sam was weakened, they werenât so weak that Dannyâs efforts were at all effective. âLet me go! Donât you fuckingâI canât just leave him!âÂ
There was no response, not until they had both left the window and grown back to their normal size outside the mansion. Danny turned immediately as if to try and rush back into the house, but Nathan held her back, easily trapping her in an embrace.Â
âLet me back in,â she cried, struggling against Nathan to no avail. âPlease, I canâtâŠI canât justâŠâ
âDanny, thereâs nothing we can do. Iâm sorry.â Nathanâs voice was raw with emotion, but he held her firmly against him, trying to pull her further away from the house.Â
âYou canât die.â Samâs voice came from somewhere in front of Danny, but it was weak, barely audible amongst the roaring of the flames. âPlease, just go. Get somewhere safe.âÂ
âWe have toâŠwe have to do something!â She kicked and writhed as Nathan pulled her back and away, staring frantically at the way the fire was quickly engulfing everything in its wake. âI canâŠâÂ
She remembered, suddenly, looking at Christopherâs perfectly healed palm only a few days agoâand got a flash of a realization, like a sudden burst of clarity in all of this chaos.Â
He healed himself when he ate me. What if it could work again? Could it heal burns? Could it fix his legs? If he ate meâŠwould he be able to survive this?
âSam,â she cried out, even as Nathan was doing his best to carry her down the steps. âLet me back in. Please. I canâŠI can help him. I can heal him. You know I can, donât you?âÂ
âDanny, noâŠâ Nathan whisperedâbut he didnât know. She hadnât mentioned that part to him earlier.Â
There was silence for long enough that she was worried Sam had disappeared for good, but the voice whispered from the nearby railing. âYou donât know thatâll work.âÂ
âBut thereâs a chance. Isnât there?â
There was silenceâsilence that felt like it stretched for far too long.Â
âThere is.âÂ
Nathan was incredulous. âWhat?âÂ
She tried to squirm around in his grip to look at him, her eyes pleading. âI canât let him die like that. Please. Let me help him. I have to try.âÂ
âDannyâŠhe canât leave.â He sounded deeply apologetic, but she felt his hold on her loosen ever so slightly. âWhat could you even do?âÂ
She didnât want to say itâshe didnât think Nathan would let her if she did. âSam, back me up here. You know Iâm right. You know I can help him.âÂ
There was no response. Nothing but the wind and the flames crackling and sputtering as they ate away at the house.Â
They were running out of time.Â
She was on the verge of tears. âNate, trust me.âÂ
Nathanâs face crumpled with worryâtorn between what should have been the obviously right answer, and between the pleading look on Dannyâs face, an expression of raw feeling that he had never seen on her before. He couldnât ignore itâand despite how badly he wanted to keep her here with him, where it was safe, he knew Danny would never forgive him if he held her back now.Â
He nodded weakly, his arms releasing Danny and falling to his sides. âI trust you, butâŠplease. Please come back safely.âÂ
Her expression changed instantlyânow one of determination, and a deep, sincere gratitude. She nodded. âI will.âÂ
And then she was offâcharging back into the house through the open window, not even stopping as the world grew a hundred times larger around her.Â
This close to the ground, the smoke was less of a problem, even though everything still smelled like burning wood. There were other humans inside the house, some trying to escape through the hole sheâd just come through, and others whoâd forced their way in as well, looking for their loved ones. She ignored them all, and in the chaos, they ignored her too.Â
She tried not to look at the pile of rubble Christopher was underâtried not to think about any of it as she sprinted at full speed towards his face, only focused on putting one foot in front of the other as quickly as she could, her lungs burning from the exertion and the ash in the air.
Christopher didnât seem to notice her until she was right in front of his faceâhis eyes were nearly closed, and they squinted as she stepped in front of them, as though he couldnât quite see her clearly. And then they opened wide as he realized, his inky black irises full of fear and confusion.Â
âDannyâŠâ His voice was weak and hoarse, like every syllable had to scratch its way up his throat. âWhat are you doing? Get-â
She was fighting to catch her breath, her hands on her knees as she glared down at the floor. âI needâŠyouâŠto eat me. Okay?âÂ
Sheâd effectively stunned him into silence. At first, she was worried he hadnât heard herâhe just stared at her, totally uncomprehending. âWhatâŠare you talking about?âÂ
The heat was making her start to sweat, and she knew she didnât have much time to convince Christopher to participate in her half-baked plan. She didnât want to wait for the rest of the roof to collapse on them both. âListenâŠyou told me when you eat a human, it heals you, right?âÂ
A flicker of understanding passed through his eyes, and she could see it clear as dayâa little bit of hope had been kindled in him, though he still seemed wary of her suggestion.Â
âSo thereâs a chance if you eat me right now, you can survive this.âÂ
Despite the hope in his eyes, there was fear in his voiceâbut she didnât know what it was he could have been scared of. âWhatâŠare youâŠwhat are you saying?âÂ
âIâm saying eat me. Okay?âÂ
It felt almost like time slowed down, like it stretched each second to its fullest as Danny saw the change in Christopherâs expression. For a moment it was like he was at war with himself, his eyebrows furrowing and his lips quivering slightly. She could tell he was thinking something through, running through the plan sheâd proposed in his head. Sheâd expected him to refute her, to argue that her safety was more important or that it wouldnât work. But he didnât.
âYouâreâŠgiving meâŠpermission to eat you, then?âÂ
She didnât understand his rephrasing of her offer, because she didnât think that fretting over semantics was really warranted in the present moment. She huffed with her hands on her hips, hoping to convey more of a sense of urgency. âYes, and preferably before the rest of the house caves in on us. Can you do that, bastard?âÂ
She saw his chest hitch, almost like he was about to cry, and his eyes crinkled at the corners as an unsteady sort of smile wavered on his face. â...yes. Yes I can, doll.âÂ
Though it seemed to take a fair amount of exertion on his part, he brought one of his hands to rest behind her. His giant fingers were shaky and weak as they grazed her shoulder. âIâŠcanât believeâŠyou came back for me.âÂ
Her heart was racingâChristopherâs weakness was just another reminder that they were almost out of time. âShut the fuck up and get me in your mouth already. You can tell me how grateful you are after you survive this. Okay? Donât you fucking die on me.â Despite how strong sheâd meant to sound, her voice broke on the last sentence. She thought she might have cried, if the heat hadnât all but dried her eyes out.
He managed a weak nod, just the barest movement of his headâand then his lips parted. She realized the awkwardness of the task in front of her now, as Christopher couldnât move much more than the hand he had behind her, and only barely at that. There was no monster here to consume her in a blind fit of animal hunger and desperation. Before her was simply a man.Â
She didnât have time to rethink her decision now. She took a step forward, and leaned down to duck inside of his mouth, guided along by his fingers behind her.Â
It was nothing like what had happened just a couple of nights ago. There was no trace of the feral animal, and there werenât claws at her back. Christopher was slow and gentle as his tongue moved beneath her, doing his best to help guide her into his mouth. The chaos of the outside world all but disappeared, leaving Danny to a completely new and horrific environment that was Christopherâs insides. But perhaps it wasnât as bad as it could beâinside of his mouth, it wasnât hot and dry and burning, but merely warm, and wet. At least this time she partly knew what to expectâand she wasnât going to die. Not by Christopherâs doing.Â
There was a bit of awkward fumbling around as he tried to maneuver her into a position that would be easy to swallow, his tongue moving and sliding around under her body. Though it was dark and cramped and she was still partly on her side, she knew it was his throat directly in front of herâa spike of fear, despite everything, pierced through her chest. No matter how much she knew of the giantâs nature, no matter her trust in him, there was still a part of her that was simply an animal fighting for survival, rightfully afraid of something that generally led to a mortal demise. But in this moment, she pushed it aside.Â
The sound of Christopherâs swallow rung loud in her ears, and her body lurched forward as the muscles of his throat pulled her deeper into him, constricting her torso until she was restrained all the way down to her waist.Â
She gasped aloud, but tried not to squirm and make it harder for what she imagined couldnât be an easy task for Christopher. Before, everything had been a blur, going too fast for her to process what was happening to her. She had been more focused on the fact that she could die. But now it was an almost entirely different experience. In a way, perhaps it was more horrific for it to go in what felt like slow motion. But on the other hand, she could feel how gentle he was trying to be with her, despite the fact that he was quite literally eating her alive.
Another swallow sent the rest of her into his throat, and she slipped along quickly, dissolving into the blackness inside of him until the whole world became nothing but the slippery muscles all around her. It was odd, for him to be on his side like thisâshe could sort of vaguely sense it wasnât so much of a downward movement as beforeâbut she was quickly losing her sense of direction and orientation. She closed her eyesâit made little difference in the darkâand before long she spilled out into a more open space, cradled now by Christopherâs strange stomach.Â
She hadnât realized how much sound there had been before. The shouting and the crackling of flame were muffled so much that the noise almost disappeared completely. All that remained was the slow thump of Christopherâs heartbeat, and the shaky sounds of his shallow breathing, whooshing all around her. The new sounds, while before they had been foreign, were now almost a source of comfortâbecause they meant that he was alive.Â
The scent of burning wood was gone, tooâit was like she was in a completely different world, removed entirely from the chaos and wreckage she knew lay just on the other side of the skin in front of her.Â
How long will it take to work?Â
Now that the hardest part of it was over for her, she was left only with the aftermath of worry. Would it be painful, for Christopher? How quickly would he heal, if the fire got to him? What about his legs?Â
She hated to know that her friend would be in pain, and alone through whatever happened next.Â
She reached out a hand, not knowing in what direction she faced, and splayed it against the flesh in front of her.Â
Like a lantern being lit in the night, something broke through the darkness inside of Christopher, illuminating first her fingers, then the rest of her. At first she panicked, thinking that the only thing that could provide such light was fire, but there was no heat that came with the light. It took a moment for her to realize that the stomach itself was what was glowing beneath her touch. For just a moment, she saw what before she had only feltâthe strange, smooth ribbons of flesh that made up Christopherâs stomach.Â
And then the light became so blinding that she was forced to close her eyesâand even behind her eyelids, the world was white as a field of snow reflecting the sun.Â
She wanted to call out, worried that something had happened, but her voice didnât come to her. She was weightless, no longer feeling flesh beneath her, no longer hearing a heartbeat or the working of lungs. She could not open her eyes, even if she wanted toâit didnât feel as though she had control over anything at all, like she was an insect trapped in amber. She was suspended in a blinding white nothingness.
Perhaps this was what death felt like. There was a part of her, some part she couldnât reach right now, that reminded her that she couldnât die, that there was something very important she needed to remember, to come back to. But there was hardly space for thought wherever she was now.Â
She had little choice but to submit herself to the light, unaware of what would lay on the other side.Â
* * * * * * * * * *Â
Danny woke in the bleary haze that one often does when they hadnât realized they were sleeping, as reality began to drip back into place like a slowly leaking faucet. She couldnât remember where she had been, or where she was now. Something itched at the back of her mind still, something important. Hadnât she been doing something? She had no sense of time or place at the moment.
Her eyes fluttered open as color and shape reformed in the world, no longer a blinding sea of white light. There was something in front of her, she thought, and she squinted as she tried to make out the details.Â
âNeed a hand, dollface?âÂ
* * * * * * * * * *Â
Hopefully you all can forgive me for the cliffhanger this time - I told you I'd be back to finish it!
All that remains now is the epilogue, but I wanted to leave a potentially sweeter taste in your mouth than the previous chapter. Consider this a valentine's gift to you all - and as always, thank you so much for reading and supporting me all this way. I know this story has been slow going, but it's something that's still quite dear to my heart, even if it is just a silly little AU.
See you in the epilogue!









