#cupcakeode

I opted to eat a regular ol' yellow cupcake con vanilla frosting.  One for many a day within a row.

I am faced with the consequences. 

Was the sickness caused by the sugar and gluten or was the craving caused by the sickness?

My mind is swirling of sorts.

I cannot make sense of such choices when I know now that I have sensitivities which wreak havoc when ignored.

Pretension or option?

Processed or organic?

Probably the latter because of the sensitive nature of my person.

Could I wish to be different on some days I would make that wish... knowing there are two more wishes so I could safely wish myself back. 

Wish for wellness?

Perhaps an option.

Only with rules.

The ascetic choices are hard but the softness is suffocating.

Someday I hope to be healthy if only in spirit.

Someday I hope to fully embrace my sensitivity without an ounce of fucking shame.

No, I don't want your smells and your tonics and potions.

I don't desire temptation in the form of taking the gray from my hair or the red from my face.

I want peace, fully.  I want understanding funnily.  I want love and a sense of family that I can try to create all day yet my age makes me in a line to a throne I do not own.