#cuckooamongbeasts

🌸  ┊ letter received from @cuckoo-among-beasts       𝑵𝒊𝒆 𝑯𝒖𝒂𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒈  : Huaisang burts into the room, despite the late hour. A chocked, but happy, expression on his face and flushed cheeks. "Dinner! He fed me from his plate I joked about courting and he got angry and left and I followed and we fought and he called me an idiot and shoved me into the railing and kissed me and then he panicked and ran off again but i grabbed him and kisses him back and he said he likes me. He likes me!" It all comes out in one long ramble before Huaisang has to breathe. Yes, he appears a little crazy, but Wanyin had just kissed him and declared he's interested in Huaisang too.

          mulan had never been one to sleep for long, nightmares had always been a plague to her ever since she could remember. tonight had been no exception, after all she had only just gone to bed two and a half hours ago only to awaken in a cold sweat and a slightly terrified cry. after a few minuets, she had forced herself to sit up and assume a meditating pose, trying to calm both her racing heart and mind. it was part of her recovery from the dreams of war and blood, to sit there in silence and try to push the dark thoughts from her mind.

          she had not expected any company, especially at this hour and just as she felt herself calming and regaining a normal breath, a startled cry left her as the door behind her shifted open loudly. turning herself, she watched with wide eyes as huaisang entered into the room with a giddy excitement. part of her wondered if he were drunk and was in need of company ━━ especially since his cheeks were flushed and he seemed to be staggering. it took her a moment to realize that this was not the case as she twisted around fully to face him.

          for a moments breath, she said nothing as she heard him speak in excitement. it was not every day that he got this excited for something, let alone mention how he was spending time with her sect leader. but soon his excitement caught, especially after what he said fully registered within her mind. jumping up into a standing position she gleefully clapped her hands together in supportive joy at his confession.      ❝  you and 𝑺𝒂̄𝒏𝒅𝒖́ 𝑺𝒉𝒆̀𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒉𝒐̌𝒖 kissed ?  ❞    stepping forward, she motioned for him to take a seat at the table as she moved to rush to the door and close it so they would not be disturbed.

      ❝  sit, sit ! you have to tell me everything ! from the start.  ❞    turning herself once more, she did not care that she was still in her sleeping robes and that her hair was fully down as opposed to halfway up like he was used to. instead she moved to grab a tea pot and glasses before moving them to the small table at the side of her room. sitting down on the cushion, she grabbed hold of some tea leaves before she began to heat the pot with her chi so that it would be made faster.      ❝  this is so exciting ! i knew that you two were destined for each other.  ❞    mulan paused for a moment before looking up at him, brows coming together in curiosity.      ❝  does this mean you two are a couple ?  ❞

he isn't sure where it came from nor why; he isn't sure of a lot of things, in all honesty, and he isn't sure how this jug of liquor ends up half - empty. he cannot give an answer for the other two empty ones to the side, cannot answer to the inquiries of is sāndú shèngshǒu feeling alright? and he most certainly cannot give answers as to why nie huaisang, qinghe nie's sect leader, plants a kiss to his forehead. he feels the area burn, as if an iron freshly dipped in flames suddenly brands itself unto his forehead, and recoils suddenly- his expression is a morph of incredulousness, minute disgust, and extreme shock. even drunk, his expressions remain somewhat stable, his finger trembling where it points at his old friend- despite the steadily growing flush that overtakes his tanned visage, creeping down to his neck.

" wh- what the fuck, nie huaisang! " his knees jerk upwards, the entire table shaking from the collision- there goes another perfectly fine jug of liquor, the liquid spilling to the ground. he hisses in pain, free hand rubbing at his knee, and the alcohol in his system drowns out rationality. for a moment, he forgets of the others in the tavern- in fact, due to the blood rushing to his head and in his ears, he practically cannot hear or see them! jiang wanyin stumbles to his feet, fumbling around for his sword, and continues to wag his finger at nie huaisang. only a stammer of you- you- comes out of his mouth until he's whirling around, a flare of violet and silver, and stomping out of the tavern, palm pressed to his forehead.

JUDGEMENT HAS NEVER QUITE found a way into his heart when the dust settled, nor did it make him feel like a fool for being weaponized once more. It brought him no pleasure still, no twisted satisfaction, watching the crowd turn on someone else for a change – Jin Guangyao had to go, plain and simple, just like Wen Chao had to go, back in the day. And it would be unbecoming of the Yiling Laozu to not appreciate a MASTERFUL SCHEME, or toss aside the fondness for a childhood friend, despite the sorrowful shadow cast upon them for the past few months on behalf of the unfortunate victim of it all. Everything's fair in war, after all. Lives are lost, hearts are broken. He never really learned to take it for granted. Never stopped wondering about the previous owner of this body, to honor the tainted memory of him somehow.

for a good while, jiang wanyin had been unsure of this whole proposal- where nie huaisang wanted to learn to at least feel at ease in the lakes of yunmeng or in general bodies of water. where jiang wanyin had been one of their best swimmers in yunmeng, it had been quite some time that he had taught anyone or eased them into the water; to be honest, the last time he even remembers doing such a thing felt fuzzy in the back of his mind, as if it were a memory locked away for so long that it had begun to erode. still, his hands came to balance huaisang on the man's waist, guiding him slowly into the lake and reassuring him that he is here and he will not let him drown. once they were waist - deep in the calm waters, their feet flat against the bottom of the lake, his hands move from huaisang's waist to sliding up and resting on his back- firm and calloused presences making it be known that he is still here.

" we won't need to float here, a'sang, " jiang wanyin grunts, gesturing with a free hand to the area around the two of them- off to the side, distantly, there were a few younger disciples splashing around in the lakes, ducking behind lotus pods. " you'll only sink if you're trying to swim with all your robes on. " with that said, he pulls his partner close to him with a biting grin, allowing huaisang to cling tighter to jiang wanyin's bare chest. " at least you know that one thing, " he murmurs, rolling his eyes fondly. " i would never allow you to drown, a'sang. " with the man still close to his body, he takes a tentative step backwards and slips the free hand to rest directly under huaisang's forearm. his gaze is steady and firm on those hesitant and uneasy hazels, making a soft noise to get his attention so that huaisang would only focus on him instead of the water.

" keep your eyes on me, bǎobèi. "

for as poetic as his companion is, jiang wanyin is unable to hold a candle to how prettily huaisang speaks- tone soft, gentle, as if to soothe him back to a deep sleep where he is able to slumber without the disturbances of the next day or the last, without night terrors plaguing his every breath. his fingers continue to brush locks of silky hair away from huaisang's visage, tucking them behind his ear, as he stares with a mainly passive expression.

though anyone who peers closely at jiang wanyin's expression is able to pick apart where love remains in between the lines of his visage, fondness peeling sāndú shèngshǒu apart by the layers, spilling his heart open in one swift moment. nie huaisang is special, it seems, to have such an intense effect on the formidable sect leader of yunmeng jiang.

with a soft grunt does his body raise from where he had been resting, sitting up properly as his own hair spills down in waves over his shoulders- deeming it an immediate hinderance, jiang wanyin blindly pulls his locks back into a low ponytail. he huffs out a hoarse laugh, eyes closing as his hands work with his own hair. " words tipped with honey, " jiang wanyin utters, warmly amused. he drops his hands now, resting them over huaisang's own hands. " i did. what about yourself, a'sang? how is your qi? "

he visits the lotus pier, he visits the places he would keep his dogs, he visits the archery training grounds, he visits sunlight on lazy days, he visits heaven amongst clouds, he visits peanuts and alcohol and salty - tasting fingertips. he visits thundering hearts and confusing feelings. he visits betrayal, anger, depression, confusion, guilt. he visits guilt and lingers there. the breeze urges him along.

soft footsteps drift with the breeze, pulling him out of his journey- his eyes open and his eyes sideline to where nie huaisang is making his way towards him, long hair and long robes and pretty fan covering most of his face. jiang wanyin stares at him with a distant look in his eye, moonlight making him look pale in comparison to his tanned and lightly freckled skin, then he turns his gaze away to take a long swig from the jug of liquor he has in his hand. he understands wei wuxian's favoritism of drinking straight from the jug in this moment. there is a shared silence between the men, between sect leaders, and the unclean realm is abnormally still.

perhaps due to how jiang wanyin is holding his breath after he swallows, guilt lingering heavy in his chest- the core churning inside of him feeling like a decorated, gold anchor. " i won't make you happy, " he whispers to the stars. " i'm not easy to love. i'll hurt you. "

" i would let you rip me apart if it meant loving you. " says nie huaisang! ( @cuckoo-among-beasts / darker vibes, always accepting )

almost instantaneously do his eyes snap back to the sect leader beside him, a look of bewilderment and incredulousness flickering through his eyes, and then he turns away with his brows still pinched in annoyance. there is a purposeful sense of pushing huaisang away here, feeling as though this affection he receives from someone he was once so close with ... he does not deserve.

water is something he is accustomed to, something that he's spent his entire life being beside and befriending- the murky depths that many have nightmares about in the cultivation world don't inflict fear within his heart. jiang wanyin is not rashly curious about what may linger underneath having lived in yunmeng and swimming within shallow and deep bodies of water, he simply knows of the monsters and spirits that linger deep on the bed of the sea or at the bottom of the rivers. to live in yunmeng, by the docks, one has to be fearless to an extent- to feel free and at peace with the water, to find a friend in it; jiang wanyin truly loves the rivers winding in and around the region, connecting yunmeng to lanling and to other ports as well.

still, he acknowledges the fact that there are those who, due to different regions and different conditions of those regions, cannot swim or cannot get used to bodies of water. jiang wanyin glances warily at nie huaisang just a boat down from where he is- he keeps an eye on the man as the fluttering is enough for him to piece the future together and practically envision what happens next. he makes sure to keep the boat steady and slow as they drift along the river, the fish that swim close to the sides making their occasional appearances before hiding away within the shadows deep within- to be fair, the fish darting away should have been the first warning. the current shifts and the boats rock a little too severely, knocking a couple people over in their seats- jiang wanyin steadies himself, core strength tensing as his feet plant firmly on the floor of the boat, but it's as he predicted ...

a splash and a yell catches his immediate attention. his brow twitches, watching the others on nie huaisang's boat scramble about, figuring out who will dive in and save the man overboad. the indecisiveness decidedly pisses jiang wanyin off, " a man has drowned and you all will be standing there, debating to see who will save him? " incredulous and annoyed, he strips off his outer robes and steps out of his shoes immediately- removing any article of clothing that may weigh him down. he glares at the withering group of people. " useless, the lot of you! " then he's diving into the chilling, shadowy water himself, his eyesight struggling to adjust for a couple of seconds until he can vaguely make out the outline of robes fluttering like a fish with ruffling fins. outside of needing to help nie huaisang, jiang wanyin cannot help the thought of him looking like a showy fish with showy fins. if he were on land, the thought would force a snort out of him but he keeps it to himself and grabs at the clothing fluttering smoothly in the water. initially, he uses the robes to pull huaisang up and then he shifts the hand to his bicep, which then moves to his arm winding around the man's waist as he propels upwards- breaching the body of water with a gasp and heavy breaths. he glares to the side at the lolling head of the unconscious man in his arm, rolling his eyes soon after as he's hoisting huaisang onto the boat he had been on previously.

after some time, jiang wanyin watches as nie huaisang finally comes to- he had no doubts that the man would eventually wake up so he simply sat in the sunshine to dry, wringing out river water from his inner robes and his hair with an irritated string of grumbles. when huaisang does stir to life, jiang wanyin rolls his eyes again and looks away. " can you not find balance on a boat? how did you fall over like that? " in other words- it's nothing, huaisang! as long as you're alive and well!

" you’re not perfect, and i’m sure not. but you’re better than they are. " ( @cuckoo-among-beasts / red dead, always accepting )

nie huaisang's words register slowly and he picks them apart quietly; his brows relax on his visage, wrinkles smoothing out into something of a younger look- youthful, as he should seem. though anger has aged him further than he'd like, not that he particularly cares. he lets it all sink in between them, taking another sip before settling the cup down on the railing. lanling jin sect has thrown a banquet for whatever reason, whatever occasion, and jiang wanyin has overstayed his welcome for far too long ( being jin rulan's uncle and whatnot ) so he finds himself feeling rather detached from everything. he exhales through his teeth, the sound more of a hiss, and hangs his head low.

" we have all done away with our grievances and old blood, huaisang. i would not consider myself better than them, nor would i consider yourself better than them. " jiang wanyin turns his head to glance at his fellow sect leader, then to everyone around them- eyeing the firecrackers with unbridled glee. " ... i wouldn't consider myself better in any aspect, huaisang. "