Concert Joy - Hyeju
You are uncomfortable.
“Oh my god, I can’t contain my excitement!”
“Me too! I’ve been waiting for this day for so long!”
It’s not as if you aren’t looking forward to the concert. Let it be known that you were one of the earliest people to book the tickets, right as the website opens. It’s just…
“Kya! I can’t wait! I’m going to see him up close!”
You bought the tickets so that you can come here and enjoy the music and live performances from one of your favorite artists, and not listen to almost 100 thousand people yelling their lungs out due to excitement.
If you had it your way, you would have been content to just stay at home and wait for some low-quality videos that will be uploaded later on YouTube. But things rarely ever go your way, well, at least when it comes to her.
“Isn’t this exciting, hun?” Directly to your right you can see your girlfriend’s excited face as she looks around in awe of the venue, and the numbers of people surrounding her.
“Well,” you take a few minutes to formulate an answer in your mind. “Partially. You do know I prefer somewhere quiet to enjoy music.”
“Don’t be such a party pooper.” Hyeju scrunches her face. “You can’t always hide inside the house; you need to go out and experience things like this as well.”
You hum at her answer, chuckling slightly. “You’re making me sound like I’m a shut in.”
“Well, you’re basically one.” Hyeju snickers, earning a flick on her forehead, courtesy of you. “Hey!”
“Am not. I just don’t like going to crowded place.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. But you must admit, this place is so huge.” Knowing that staying on the current topic might just bring your mood down, Hyeju diverts to a different one. “How many people can this place hold?”
“As of now, we have more or less 100 thousand people in the venue.”
“100 thousand people, just to see a single person perform…” Hyeju falls silent at the thought, seemingly thinking of something.
“What’s on your mind?” Seeing your excited girlfriend’s mood suddenly fall off worries you for a bit, especially when it’s her who wants to attend the concert in the first place.
“Nothing, really. It’s just” Hyeju pauses, looking around “I don’t know, I’m just jealous, in a way? Like, imagine 100 thousand people gathering in one place to see you perform, how would that feel I can’t even imagine.”
“Well, maybe you should have auditioned to become an idol back then.” You chuckle, waiting to see Hyeju’s elbow hitting your arm as per usual. But instead of that, you are met with a crestfallen Hyeju, who’s fidgeting with her hands.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” You lean against her, placing a soft kiss on top of her head along with your apology.
Hyeju remains silent, which worries you greatly since the girl has never let you off without a snarky comment of her own. Her silence speaks volume, and that means you fucked up.
Fortunately for you, it is right then that the concert started with the idol walking onto the stage, giving you an excuse to brighten Hyeju’s mood up.
-----
Your ears are in pain.
And not just your ears, you can feel your heart beating loudly to each beat of the music, which can be said a lot about your current state of being. Many associate that feeling with excitement, with enthusiasm and exhilaration.
But not for you, you feel suffocated, and overwhelmed. You feel exhausted from your heart beating so loudly, and you feel that your eardrums are ringing loudly, giving you fear that they might erupt at any given moment with all the yelling around you.
Surrounding you on all sides is a sea of excited people yelling their lungs out to cheer for the idol. your girlfriend included. It truly didn’t take much to cheer her up. One minute into the first song, and she is already singing along with her low, but warm voice that you can barely appreciate with all the other voices from the surrounding audience. Really now, why is it so hard for a guy to appreciate his girlfriend’s voice?
Of course, with all the loud music and yelling around you means that you can’t help but focus onto the performance itself instead of distractedly falling into your own thoughts like usual. While the performances are good, you can’t help but lament the fact that you can’t really hear it all that well with the yelling mixed in. You’ll have to watch it again on YouTube then.
But then, you glance to your side, seeing Hyeju genuinely enjoying her time at the concert, even if her yelling is one of the main causes giving your eardrums their ringing. If Hyeju is happy, you don’t really mind.
And so, you reign over your annoyances and enjoy the music and performances, since you have already paid for it.
Things are going well, that is, until….
“Kyaa!! Oppa!”
“Oppa! Notice me!”
“Oppa! Oppa!”
“I love you, oppa!”
Oh yeah, this.
As if the combined voice of 100 thousand people isn’t enough to deafen your ears, the cheering really takes things up another notch, with how random and chaotic they are.
It’s ok, it’s fine, you think to yourself. This is normal. Fans just really love their idols, you understand. You keep telling yourself that and just try to enjoy the music.
“Oppa! I love you!” You feel your heart drop as you hear Hyeju’s voice joining in with the cheering. Despite thinking rationally to yourself that this is normal, you can’t help but be shocked a bit.
How long did it take her to say it to you? How long did you have to wait to hear it from her own voice? And this idol just…gets to hear it? Like that?
Safe to say, the rest of the concert goes by with you hardly paying attention to the performances, feeling like a puppet whose strings were cut off.
-----
After a few hours later, you now find yourself back in the comfort of your bed, resting away from the long day. Well, as best as you can of course, because your mind seems to not want to give you a break.
Tossing and turning for a bit, you end up laying on your side, thinking back to the concert and the cheering that you’ve heard. Certainly, it isn’t uncommon to hear cheering like that. You have followed the idol scene enough to know that cheering can be considered somewhat common, so your girlfriend joining in the cheering should be normal. It is completely normal.
But why do you feel so disheartened still?
Letting out a sigh, you decide that it would be better to try and sleep than torment yourself further with useless questions that only serve to keep you awake at night. However, imagine your surprise when you feel a pair of arms wrapping around your torso, and a presence pressing against your back. Didn’t she fall asleep the moment she lay down on the bed?
“Did I wake you up?” You feel her head nodding against your back.
“I’m sorry. Let’s go to sleep now-” You hold onto her arm, rubbing it gently as she hugs your chest from behind “You were thinking something again, weren’t you?” Hyeju interrupts you, sounding not as sleepy as you thought.
“I’m sorry?”
“You were thinking of something. That’s why you weren’t asleep yet.” Before you have the chance to counter, Hyeju continues “It was the cheering, wasn’t it?”
“…” Hyeju hits the bullseye, making your tongue tied for a while.
Taking your silence as confirmation, she then rolls you onto your back as she leans her body up, resting her arms underneath her chin as her eyes look at you, smiling gently.
“I was caught up in the moments so much, I failed to realize that I hurt you unintentionally. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize, it’s not your fault. I was just being dramatic, as usual.” You manage to say something, your hands reaching up stroke her messy hair gently. Hyeju leans slightly against your palm, humming a bit.
“You know. I realized something at the concert.” She says, with you raising an eyebrow as your response.
“You know people always say that idols are humans too, and that they deserve to be respected and not to be put on a pedestal.” You are losing her more and more as she goes on. “But a part of me believes that: being an idol means that you are already putting yourself on the pedestal to be admired by everyone, to show your best self to the whole world.”
“Uhm-” You are once again interrupted by Hyeju placing a finger on your lips.
“Shush, let me finish please.” You nod. “Thank you hun. So, what I was saying is that idols are meant to be admired and appreciated from afar. They do not know each one of their fans, and they can’t be blamed for that. You can love them all you want, but inevitably they can’t reciprocate it. Because they might not even know who you are.”
Hyeju head lowers down to your chest, her ears resting right above your heart, feeling every beat of it. “Me cheering for him like that doesn’t mean that I truly love him the way that I love you. I am not delusional enough to think that one day my favorite idol might notice me thanks to some random luck, and he magically falls for me. That just isn’t happening.” Her hand finds its way to yours, intertwining softly.
“The love I have for him, simply is the admiration and appreciation I have for him as a fan for all his music and effort. That’s it.” Her head is raised again, now hovering above your face, as you can feel her shoulder length tickling your face a bit, but you don’t mind, as you gaze into her eyes.
“Honey, the love I have for you, is indescribable. I love you with everything you do, no matter how big or small, no matter how smart or stupid.” She smiles, ever so gently. “With you, I can be myself wholly, without afraid of showing you my best or worst, because you’ve already seen and embraced me for who I am.” She lowers ever so slightly, your lips touching for a quick kiss. “An idol might never reciprocate the love I have for them, but you are different. When idols inevitably retire, new ones shall replace the old. But no one can ever replace you.”
“I love you, so, so much. I’m sorry for making you worried, but I’m also thankful that you indulged me so much.” Without waiting to hear your reply, she places her head at the crook of your neck, digging herself deeper into you.
“I love you too.” You finally process enough of her words to utter three words. Yet she can feel your sincerity. Of course, she can, she’s your girlfriend.
“That is obvious, stupid. Let’s get some sleep.”
Wordlessly, you embrace Hyeju, laying there listening to her breathing until it becomes even again, before managing to slip into sleep, your mind truly at ease.
What is but a few simple cheering when you already have her heart, and she yours? ~~~~~~
A/N: A little piece I wrote up for CKF and I hitting 2k followers recently, I will personally be taking a break from writing as life is catching up to me. I'm sure CKF can handle things without me for a little bit.
Till we meet again. - Ghost
