#csssa accepted

here’s my application to csssa’s cw program for 2017! reading everyone else’s apps saved my ass while i was writing mine, so i thought i’d add to the lot (i decided against posting my personal statement). 

update: i just got accepted!!! message me if you did too!!

assignment B: memoir

I never looked forward to visiting here.

I had grown accustomed to the metronome of endless beeping machines syncopating to my heartbeat and footsteps. I knew what it was like to walk alone through the doors that open with a happy “ding!” and to be greeted by faces of people whose minds would rather be anywhere but here. I memorized every last crack in the sterile white flooring, every last wrinkle beneath the eyes of the woman at reception. I could never forget her face; shining and sparkly, a firework in such a bleak atmosphere. She pointed me to your room, and I walked down the corridors, eyes on my feet. Left, right, left, right.

Conversations started out uncomfortable at first – they always did. Your mom was there, doing work in the recliner chair she now called home, surrounded by an army of water bottles and tissues. She and I exchanged small talk before she left you and me alone. You already had enough teddy bears to last a lifetime, so instead I brought you a book to read. Every smile you made was forced, even if you meant it to be genuine. I heard your breath rasp in your throat when you inhaled through your lungs. I wondered how you breathed when there was a tube in your chest. I didn’t ask.

Your grandpa walked in with two bracelets. He told us they’re “wish bracelets” and to make wishes when we put them on. When they fell off, our wishes would come true. Light had returned to your eyes in the moment I placed the bracelet on your brittle wrist.

My bracelet fell off within a month, yet you were still in the hospital.

assignment C: dramatic writing

A quiet night in the streets of California. NICK, a pale boy dressed in all black, is walking down the street alone. He falls onto the side of the street, wincing in pain.

Enter LAURA.

LAURA: Oh my, are you okay?

NICK: (pained) I’m fine.

LAURA: Are you sure? You look like you’re hurt.

NICK: Not hurt, just hungry. Haven’t eaten in a few days.

LAURA: Oh! I have a granola bar in my bag if you want it.

NICK: That’s not exactly the kind of food I eat.

LAURA: Are you on a diet?

NICK: No.

LAURA:  Oh, well. I shouldn’t have assumed, I’m sorry. Can I get you anything else? I wish I had a salad on me. You can eat salad, right?

NICK: (shakes head)

LAURA: What can you eat, then?

NICK: (shrugs)

LAURA: I can’t help you unless you tell me what kind of crazy food you like! I don’t want you to pass out, you’re already so pale and all. Can’t you tell me what you’ll eat?

NICK: (quietly) Blood.

LAURA: What?

NICK: (louder) Blood.

LAURA: You’re bleeding? Where?

NICK: I drink blood. (pause) I’m a vampire.

LAURA: That’s funny. (more hesitant) You’re funny.

NICK: Look, I don’t want to scare you, but I’m starving. (LAURA backs away) No, no I don’t want to eat you! I just need blood. I need you to help me.

LAURA: Why can’t you do it by yourself?

NICK: I’ve been walking for hours trying to find food — I’ll collapse again.

LAURA: But you can’t die. You’re already dead.

NICK: Pain is pain, nonetheless. Please? You don’t want to make an enemy of a vampire, do you? (he smiles, revealing pointed teeth)

LAURA: What are you saying?

NICK: Could you help me find something to eat?

LAURA: You mean “someone?”

NICK: More or less.

assignment D: prose fiction

I need a new heart.

My old one is shattered beyond repair. It was made of glass and filled to the brim with water. I liked it that way. My heart had never broken before, but then I met this girl. She was an enigma to me. She tucked secrets under her ink-stained arms, she stuffed her words in her mouth even though she knew just what to say. I’d like to describe her as invincible, maybe a goddess, but I know that’d be a lie. I think she also had a glass heart because she protected it like a hawk to its nest.

She was more careful with her heart. I let her feel mine when we first went to the park, and I showed it to her later that night. She never let me see hers, not even after she would fall asleep with her head buried in my hair, or after her needlepoint arms would reach to me and grasp onto my wrists during her nightmares. She confused me, infuriated me, mesmerized me; I was infatuated with her. Every time I thought of her I would imagine her shoving skeletons haphazardly in her closet behind dusty sweaters, and I found myself wondering what she could be hiding from me.

I had never truly been close to her until the night I caught her weeping on the steps of my apartment. Her eyes overflowed with the black ink that coursed through her veins. It spilled from her eyes and stained her slender fingers. She collapsed on my shoulders and told me that when she was little, her mother found her kissing Charlotte and took her heart away for a week. She confessed to me that the last time she found herself with a girl, she felt so guilty that she had fractured her heart herself. I told her that if she ever felt like she couldn’t be alone with her heart that I would keep it safe, but she shook her head. We sat in silence until morning.

I know we all have secrets; mine is that I gave her my heart. I took the glass out of my chest and placed it in her hands, still filled to the top with water, glowing ever so slightly against her dark hands. I told her that I wanted her to keep it safe for me because she kept hers so well hidden. She stared into my eyes. She stared into my heart. She shoved it back into my hands. It fractured. She opened the door to my apartment. It began to leak. The moment the latch clicked shut, water had erupted onto the carpet. All that my goddess left in her wake was the shattered glass in my hands.

I want my next heart to be made of iron.

assignment E: poetry

I know a hallway

where time

stops,

where secrets

are tucked under

the wooden slats

of its walls

and are held

captive,

only to be shot

at me when

I am

frozen.

I know a hallway

where shadows

are cast

in pitch,

the loud shouts,

the stifled cries,

taken hostage between

the cracks

of its paint.

I know a hallway

where reality

ceases to

exist, and

I am

left

glued

to the floorboards

with you

and your steel

fists.

I know a hallway

that slips

a leash

around my neck

just loose enough

that I think

I am

free,

but pulls me back,

bruises me blue,

(Sorry assingment A looks so monstrous in size compared to the others, and also if your using the tumblr app on your phone th colors look REALLY dark...i dunno how to fix that...) Anyways...This is my Accepted CSSSA application for CSSSA Animation 2016! (I’ll include the accepted animation assignment in a different post.) My biggest recommendation for animation applicants is that you include some sort of figure drawing or drawing from life for assignment C, because a big part of animation is learning to draw the figure and drawing from life, and CSSSA would like to see that you have some experience with doing that! I drew my three pieces for assignment C a couple months ago while staying on a cruise ship, and i’m not going to lie, it makes me cringe a little bit to look at it now XD (The man in the front lowkey has a dipper pines hat)   From the top down: Assignment A, Assignment B, Assignment C

These are the guidelines for the assignments (btw this is for 2016, keep in mind that the guidelines may change in the future):

A. One drawing or painting that shows what you feel is unique about yourself.

B. One drawing or painting of any subject that interests you. You might consider an emotion, memory, song, place or thing. Upload an explanation of the work. Include the poem, or lyrics if appropriate.

C. One drawing or painting that you feel demonstrates your technical skills.