#crywolfhayley

Send ‘✉’ For a morning after note on the pillow

Hayley,

This wasn't supposed to happen. Don't expect this to change anything between us.

I wish I could like this AT LEAST 1,000 more times.

It had been five years and it was the first time Hayley had come back to Mystic Falls. She'd thought about visiting more times than she could even recall, but the pain she felt and the guilt that still hung heavily on her shoulders far outweighed every other feeling that urged her to go. Most of the time, she convinced herself that it was just a stupid stone. That if she wanted to remember Tyler, she could do it anywhere in the world, even though the place he spent a good majority of his life would always hold much more significance. But for some reason, this year was different. The ache in her chest had lessened, and it no longer hurt to think about what had happened to him.  

As Hayley approached Tyler's grave, seeing his name etched intricately into the granite gravestone along with the words 'loving son and friend', (it should have listed leader somewhere in there too, Hayley thought) the werewolf had to bite down hard on her lip to choke back the tears that began to well on the outskirts of her eyes. Pulling her gaze away, Hayley drew in a sharp breath as she knelt down on the grass in front of the stone. This was so much worse than she thought it would be. It became far too real, as Hayley realized this was all that was left of Tyler. A stone, and his memory. No one else would ever be able to enjoy the melody of his ridiculous laughter or the smile that tugged so beautifully on his cheeks when he was truly happy about something. His voice would become a sound of the past, never heard or acknowledged again. This was all it came down to, and despite what she thought she felt, Hayley wasn't ready to accept that.

She composed herself, holding it together for at least another moment longer. I can do this. Hayley repeated over and over in her mind before shifting her attention back to the stone. "I brought you something." She muttered, with a forced smile as she reached into her bag and pulled out a bottle of his favorite bourbon, propping it up against the corner of the marker. Hayley had considered bringing flowers, but quickly discarded that idea. Tyler wouldn't want flowers and Hayley wasn't the type to buy them anyway. He may have not had much use for the alcohol now, but her gift was certainly a bit more heartfelt than a stupid bouquet which would turn up dead in less than a week anyway. "I might need to tap into this before I leave though. I hope you don't mind." She wanted to laugh, but it felt wrong so she kept quiet instead. It felt so weird having a conversation with someone who couldn't respond. Maybe he couldn't even hear her? Hayley had never been the religious type but it comforted her to think that Tyler was looking down from somewhere, watching over her. 

Reaching out, Hayley traced her finger tips in the hollow engraving of his name. Before long, with the silence looming over her head, the sadness crept it's way back inside of her and threatened to burst open the floodgates once again. "I'm so, so sorry." Hayley began, shaking her head at what she figured to be the lamest apology ever. It shouldn't have been like this -- she shouldn't have to apologize. Tyler should still be here, not six feet under the ground. Why did she get to live as a measly mortal werewolf who escaped death more times than she could count when he, someone who was supposed to live happily forever surrounded by all of the people that loved him have to die? "I should have protected you." A hot stream of tears now rushed down her cheeks, dampening the ends of her dark hair. "This was all my fault. It was my idea to un-sire the hybrids. It was my plan that put you on Klaus' radar." She babbled, her gaze bouncing off every surrounding in the cemetery, her sad attempt to avoid looking at the stone. He can still see that you're crying. Hayley mentally scolded herself. "I should have been the one to die. Not you." The girl sniffled as she swiftly wiped the stray tears that blurred her vision away from her eyes. 

Hayley had tried so hard to fix things after she royally screwed them up. Every attempt to make things better had all been for Tyler. She wanted him free from Klaus, and give him the opportunity to be happy even if it meant he would be with someone else, far away from her. She wanted that for him so badly, and it tore her apart knowing that he could never have it and the only person she could blame for that, was herself. "I'll never forgive myself for what happened to you." Hayley squeaked, her voice shaky and uneven. The pain continued to wrench itself deeper into her chest, twisting itself like a serrated blade jabbing at her heart. With her face placed in her hands, she began to sob again in silence. Her back heaved up and down with each powerful choke, and what make-up she wore before now streamed messily down her face. Minutes passed before she began to calm down again. Pulling her head to it's normal, erect position, Hayley drug her sleeve across her face, brushing away any of the remaining tears that lingered on her flushed skin. "Damn it, Ty. Look at me. I'm a fucking mess. And you're not even here to laugh at me for it." She chuckled under her breath, mostly at herself for being like this. Hayley never got emotional, and if she did, she certainly would never show it. But Tyler was the exception to all her rules -- even in his death.

/Because you’re abulous and we all know what those nights are like.

liztheliar replied to your post: [do you ever have nights where everything...

I’ve been having that happen a lot lately. Especially tonight. Doesn’t help that I’m loading up on soda and chocolate ;alkdfs I can’t concentrate on anything.

crywolfhayley replied to your post: [do you ever have nights where everything...

oh do you mean every day of the week? because if so then i totally understand

i DON’T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT WAS GOING ON IN OUR PLOT. -hides- it’s been a long couple of weeks okk. ugh welcome to the TVD fandom where plots and lives are ruined and dreams are crushed. maybe this means we need to reformulate things???

where did our plot go? IDKKk. i don’t remember if i never messaged you back or if you never messaged me back… whatever probably my fault cause i’m a forgetful little fuck

Send me a ‘✉’ for a head canon I have regarding our muses:

i also find it humorous that i’m twice their age and i don’t even know how to play poker… uh