#crying!draco

I yawned, bored out of my mind, and threw myself onto the sofa, staring at the intricate details etched on the high ceiling of the dungeon. It was a beautiful dungeon, the one we get to call home for seven years of our lives, but incredibly boring to stay in for a week.

Everyone who hadn't yet left for the holidays was out, of course, it's Saturday and the night is beaming with stars, a beautiful night to spend outside. I knew some friends were going to Hogsmead, get a butterbeer or two, possibly firewhiskey and cigarettes were involved as well.

I sighed, longing for social interaction. I am the type of person that wants what they can't have; I want to go out only when I am not allowed to, I want to do research only when I don't need to, I want to read only when I don't have to, and, obviously, I like the one person who will never like me back.

Oh, me and my poor life choices.

Don't get me wrong, by no means am I saying that everyone here likes me, whatsoever, it's just that the one guy I like is the one guy who is so obsessed with himself (and not precisely because of arrogance) that he will never spare me a thought... or at least that's what I tell myself, it's better than saying that he won't like me because I'm not enough or something of the sort. I am amazing as I am.

The sound of footsteps woke me from my depressive trance and I sat up, looking at the door in wonder of who could be back so soon. After all is just 7 and I know for a fact that not one of my housemates like to come back before 9 or even later, despite it being forbidden.

My breath hitched when I saw him coming in.

His platinum blond hair perfectly combed in a way that made him look... beautiful, not too tightly styled that he looked old but groomed that he looked polished. His pale face glowing with a light rose tint in his cheeks from the cold exterior, his back straight and his eyes... oh, those stormy grey eyes.

I swallowed hard to force myself back to Earth and started concentrating on my breath so it would come back to normal. Easier said than done, especially when Draco Malfoy is standing right in front of me, looking at me.

He said my name with such ease when he greeted me, a small smirk on his lips, and so felt like melting. I loved to hear it from him.

I smiled at him as if he were just another man in the room, pretending as if I wasn’t drowning inside.

“Malfoy,” I greeted back.

"I didn't know you were still here." His tone curious as he took his shoes off and slouched on the other corner of the sofa, a few inches away from me. 

I scolded myself when I started thinking about how much I wanted him to be closer. With the same smile I relaxed back onto the sofa, acting as casual as I always do and successfully hiding my mental breakdown behind a friendly smile.

"Yeah, I won't be going anywhere for the rest of the week." He frowned as to ask what I meant, I shrugged in defeat. "Dumbeldore grounded me for the week."

He opened his eyes in surprise. "For a whole week, during the holidays? What did you do to make him that mad?"

"Well, it was actually Snape who I annoyed that much, I guess he didn't like my pre-winter brake joke."

He looked at me as if disappointed, but a little smirk formed in his lips and gave him out, he found this amusing. "What did you do now?"

I chuckled nervously. "So, I might or might not have stolen from him and I might or might not have made a potion and I might or might not have given in to him and I-"

"Can you go straight to the point?" He interrupted me anxiously and half-annoyed.

I sighed and looked down at my hands, smiling at the memory. "I turned him into a rat." He gawked at me, eyes wide open in shock. "And Norris almost ate him. Several times. And he had a tail and whiskers for hours after coming back to his human form."

Slowly his gawk started turning into a smile until he was laughing his lungs off next to me. I smiled and soon started laughing, too, his laugh was really contagious.

I admired discreetly as he laughed. His back relaxed, his shoulders slouching and shaking as his chest puffed and huffed with every breath he took between cackles and chuckles. His eyes squinted as his smile pushed his cheeks upwards, showing off his beautiful teeth in all their splendor.

It wasn’t frequent one could see Draco laughing so carelessly, so humanly, so I took in the moment every time it happened. He looked more breathtaking than ever whenever he let go of his worries and concern and let himself be.

I looked down at my hands to hide the blush creeping up my cheeks after staring for too long.

After a minute or so he sat up straight again, a huge grin on his face. "Oh, my..." He cackled. "This is a great story." We both chuckled. "So, what are you going to do once you can leave?"

I thought about it for a second. "I don't know, I guess I'll just be staying here for the other week, I don't think I will be the only one." 

Draco frowned. "You won't go home?" I shook my head. "But it's Christmas."

I nodded. "I know, it's just that there's no difference in my house with my presence except for the fact that I don't really enjoy it. Plus, it's a long trip for just a week."

Draco nodded in comprehension. "I see."

"What about you, why haven't you left yet?"  He sighed and threw himself against the backrest of the sofa with his head resting on it as well. I frowned. "Is everything okay?"

So, the reason why I like him so much is precisely because I know him. When I first got here I didn't really like him, I just thought he was a meanie with a pretty face. Later on, as we were forced to spend more time together as Slytherins, I grew more fond of him, realizing he's just a softie hidden behind a mask of an arrogant bully. After a year and something Draco and I became best friends, and he started telling me about his family problems. Now the only one I hate is his dad.

Out of the blue, he got up and started making his way to his dorm, I followed him, reckoning he would have told me to do otherwise if he wished it. I walked a few meters behind him, seeing how he dragged his feet through the marble floor, crestfallen and with his shoulders hunched. Finally, we got to his dorm, where he sat on his bed with his back against the backboard. He tapped his side, I got the message and sat right next to him after quietly locking the door, we didn't need interruptions.

After a few more moments of silence, he answered with a sigh. "Yes, everything is okay." My frown deepened, he wasn't being honest.

"Draco, you know you can trust me, right? You don't need to lie to me." 

He remained in silence for a really long time, I just looked at him the whole while. His eyebrows were slightly raised in the middle, his bottom lip was a tad more stuck out than his upper lip and his arms were slumped to his sides. I couldn't see his eyes from where I was sitting, but by the looks of it he was just looking at the ceiling.

Suddenly, he looked at me, I didn't even pretend not to be looking at him, and I didn't hide my worry either, last time I saw him like this...

His eyes were filled with tears to the brim, his bottom lip shaking slightly as he tried to fight it, as he tried to hide the vulnerability from his face.

My heart sunk for him.

"Do you need a hug?" He asked quietly, his voice tight and a tiny bit higher than usual.

I spread my legs a bit and opened my arms, knowing that that was his way of asking for a hug because he needed one.

He came closer and threw himself on top of me, fitting just right in between my legs, burying his face on my chest and hugging me by my waist as tight as he could. When I felt his grip get tighter and his shoulders shake, my whole world fell to pieces.

I hugged him back, stroking his back and his hair knowing that it calms him down. I didn't say anything, there's nothing I could say that would ever make him feel better about that situation, it was out of my hands, instead, I just held him as tight and as close to me as I could.

A sob from his part brought a few tears to my eyes, it hurt me so much seeing him like this, knowing what he has to go through and not being able to help him.

It pains me an awful, excruciating lot to watch the person I love the most falling so deep into the abyss while I just stand and stare with my arms crossed.

I just let him be, caressing his hair and rubbing his back as gently and firmly as I could. He kept on crying silently, only letting a few strained sobs out. I frowned, almost drowning in my worry, he was holding back.

"Darling, let go." I whispered softly, I was scared I might trigger something worse with just my voice volume. "Draco, love, it's okay, you're safe with me."

And just like that, with just that sentence, he started crying so loudly it was almost like screaming. His grip got so tight I genuinely feared it might bruise me, but I didn't care, he was all I cared about. He became an uncontrollable sobbing, whimpering and moaning mess, I could feel my hoodie getting soaked with his tears and he was shaking so violently it even shook my body along with his. I hugged him as tight as I could, trying to show him that way that I was there for and with him. 

Around half an hour later he finally stopped crying, but he hadn't let go of me just yet, his arms were still wrapped around me and his head was still on my chest. I just stayed there, still stroking his hair and rubbing his back. 

And there we laid, in silence were it not for Draco's sniffing and hiccuping. I realized in that exact moment that this was the first time he cried like that in front of me, and I felt honoured, it means he trusts me and that he actually feels safe with me.

After a few minutes I was taken aback when I heard him chuckle. I relaxed my hold and he placed his hands on either side of my waist, lifting himself up so that we were face-to-face.

I saw a little smile on his lips and decided it didn't look that good with the mark of his tears on cheeks, so I brought my hands to his face and wiped his tears with my thumbs.

He grinned and I stopped my every action to look him in the eye. 

"What's so funny?" I asked in a murmur, somehow it still felt like a delicate moment.

"That I met you not so long ago and still you are the only one who takes care of me, better than anyone else in my life." 

Than my mum, I know he meant, but I didn’t acknowledge it. Narcissa was a whole other problem in his life at the moment.

I gave him a sad smile and started mindlessly caressing his cheeks with my thumbs. "That's not funny, that's sad."

He kept his grin. "My life is sad." I pressed my lips in worry. He seemed to have realized my change in expression because he dropped his grin enough so that it was a small, genuine, close-mouthed smile. "Hey, darling, don't worry, I'm okay." I looked at him with a poker face, he had almost dehydrated crying and now he says he's okay? "Really, I am, want to know why?" I tilted my head in curiosity and he grinned once again. "Because I have the girl I like and love the most taking care of me." He remarked huskily.

I opened my eyes as wide as they could, utter shock showing on my face. "Excuse me, I don't think I heard, what did you say?" I managed to squeak out.

He looked me dead in the eye, his silver eyes shining due to the wetness of his previous tears. "You like it when I'm straightforward, don't you?" I nodded, I really did. "Okay, then listen closely. I like you, and I love you an awful lot.” My heart was beating so fast I was sure I was about to spit it out. “I know, we are young and we should live our freedom like most people say,” he rolled his eyes, “but I really like you and I am so thankful to have you in my disgusting life."

I gawked at him. What? Did he just say he likes me? The boy who I thought would never get over his issues? My ultimate crush?

Was Draco being grateful? Vocally greatful? Had he just cried his sad little heart out on my chest, told me he loves me and thanked me? Is this a dream? Did I fall asleep on the couch? Did Snape drug me?

"Don't worry, you don't have to say anything.” He said after a beat, I suppose my silence gave him the wrong idea on my stance on the subject. “If you don't feel the same way it's fine,” he started getting off of me, “we can keep on as before, I just needed to let you know.

I slowly started to grin, excitement filling my chest and washing my worries away. "No."

He frowned in confusion, his movements halting. "No what?"

"No, there's no need to stay as friends." 

He smiled excitedly at me, clearly unsure of what I truly mean to say. "Do you mean-?"

"I like you and love you, too." I said with a chuckle, my cheeks a furnace.

He cackled with joy clear on his face, like he didn't believe what was going on, no guilt on his beautiful face.

"So, does this mean I can finally get to call you my girlfriend?" He asked, leaning in closer to my face.

I blushed harder, my breath hitching, my heart beating in my ears. His proximity finally affecting me now that I came back to my senses.

"I don't know, you haven't asked." I played coy.

He lifted his eyebrows, peaking at my lips every other second, making my stomach flutter every single time.

"Oh, I need to ask." He chuckled slowly. "So, my sweet, loving, darling, beautiful angel,” he begun, his face getting closer with each word. “Will you give me the amazing and magnificent honour of being my girlfriend?" He asked with a grin, his nose grazing mine, his gaze feeling more intimidating than ever before.

"Only if you get to be my boyfriend." I joked nervously, licking my lips when I felt my mouth run dry.

"Deal?" He asked in a murmur, his face even closer, making our breathes mix.

At this point our lips were almost touching, to the point where if one of us pouted, we would kiss. I inhaled his words as he spoke them and shuddered.

I grinned. "Deal."

He smiled and closed any distance between our lips, pressing them against mine in such a sweet way I found it hard to believe it was actually happening. I could taste the saltness of his tears on his lips, the warmth of his body towering over mine making me feel safe, it made me wonder if this is what he feels when I hold him close.

My mind went wild when I felt his hands softly and almost undetectably on me, snaking almost innocently through my body, only to then set one on the bed, by my neck, and the other on my jaw. His thumb caressed my cheeks and I swear by Peeves I was melting under his touch.

After a few seconds we pushed away enough to breathe, he was still basically on top of me.

That was my first kiss ever. I felt like I was flying right off the edge of the earth into an abyss of candy and chocolate and clouds and love. My lips tingled with the phantom feeling of where his warm and wet lips had touched and pressed and sucked.

My stomach was pretty much holding a concert with the butterflies flying wild in it, my heart beating so loudly I was sure he could hear it.

With a swift move, he grabbed me by my waist and changed positions, sitting me on his lap, I blushed mad hard when I felt his... mate under me, this escalated way too fast for me to understand what in the world is going on.

Still, he made no other move. Just sat me there, slow to him, holding me and looking at me like I was the finest piece of art his eyes had ever come across. I felt exhilarated.

"My girl." He said with a smile, his hand on the side of my neck, almost under my ear. His thumb started softly rubbing my cheek while his other hand rubbed the side of my thigh.

I copied his expression with both my hands on his cheeks, I gently gave him a kiss on the forehead and then gently pressed my forehead against his.