#crowvyn asks

love can be simple and domestic

when i look back on the (few but long) relationships that i've been in, i always remember falling in love with the simpler things. there is a beauty in watching the person you love put on their makeup at the start of an early morning, seeing their eyes nearly closed as eyeshadow colors their lids, the small faces they make when trying to focus on not messing up mascara, the flinch that happens when they inevitably fuck it up. there is a beauty watching them come back to the room later that same day, hair drenched with drops still leaving their hair and running down their neck and shoulders, watching them put their things away and hurry to rest into your arms because the shower was so warm and leaving it was a pain and you're the sense of warmth and safety they can get after facing the cold

love can be fearful and exhilarating

landing your eyes on their form for the first time, not quite knowing what the feeling is just yet, but feeling the pull towards them all the same. getting to know them, feeling a lightness in your chest as they make you laugh, finding it easier to smile when you're in their company. then there's that feeling you get after a while, when you've made the realization and know what exactly that emotion is. that 'oh no,' that 'it can't be,' that feeling of your heart dropping to your feet because you know it's going to be harder and harder to push down as the days pass. that nervousness you feel before asking them, before telling them exactly how you've been feeling is as terrifying as it is liberating

love can be lost or unrequited

there has come a time in some of my relationships where i felt the downwards slope in more ways than one - physically, mentally, emotionally - it was all there. the gut wrenching feeling when they respond less, when you know you're not in their thoughts as much, when they no longer do the things they used to but in a way that is so obvious that you know where it's going to head. you can come to hate it, and that part is the most miserable to me. there is also the feeling of your brain stepping in before your heart, the logic built within the walls that you have up because you know that deep down that ending is too good to be true, that the ending you have in your head will only be in your head and you need to learn to let go of it.

love can be safe

this is my favorite part.. the gentleness, the passion, the drive that is found within you both that makes it feel as though your hearts are interlinked. this is the time where the other person feels like your home, where the other person doesn't complete you, no.. only you can do that, but draws out all your strengths while also letting you display your weakness in their entirety. when you sleep next to them and wake up in the middle of the night, darkness encompassing you both, but when you turn around, their arms wrapped around your waist and you beat yourself up for waking them out of their slumber.. where they look at you, soft, vulnerable, loving.. and you know they won't remember this in the morning or understand just how much the small act will mean to you but they pull you closer.. bury their head into the crook of your neck, nuzzle themselves against your skin and take a deep breath in. you feel them relax just as you do, a small 'sorry' slipping out of your tired lips and all they can do is give a small 'mm' back because they're so tired but oh so happy that you're there

love and i have a complex relationship.. love is my enemy just as much as it is my best friend. i fear it just as much as i adore it. i just simply wish, like most people, that my person finds me soon

i know it'll be worth the wait

xx,