#crnvn

Adam had never considered settling down until he and Ronan Lynch became an item. He figures this is because of his upbringing. Because he's always too distracted with balancing work, school and his friendships. Because of the relationship he watched his parents have as he grew up. He never believed he could have anything different than that for himself- a thought made shockingly clear when he found himself losing his temper in his apartment above St. Agnes'. He feared the term settling down because he feared somehow becoming a progeny of Robert Parrish. 

He'd dated before Ronan, but it was all so juvenile he never allowed his mind to wander and wonder where he and the other person would be years down the road, let alone a week down the road. He allowed himself far too much time to fall into the spiral of self deprecation. When it came down to the 'it's not you, it's me' speech at the end of every relationship he'd had- he knew full well that the problem was, in fact, himself.

But with Ronan, things are as easy as breathing. With Ronan, he feels he doesn't have to try and make himself into something he's not. With Ronan, Adam gets to be loud for a change. Ronan has seen him at his absolute worst- has helped ice black eyes and bandage open wounds- and he hasn't wavered once in his friendship. Adam doesn't feel the need to try as hard to hide his accent with Ronan, he doesn't panic over him seeing dirt beneath his fingernails or old scars from growing up in the place meant for leaving. Adam doesn't fear his economical status or social status being an issue with Ronan- because he knows Ronan couldn't care less about such superficial things. 

[unseen academicals starters - still accepting!]

noah can barely hold back a snicker. ‘ mindful violence, ’ he says - like it’s a good thing they thought this out beforehand. he has a feeling others might think different after all’s said and done.

as for the now, what exactly are they doing anyway? it takes a moment for noah to remember - ronan’s got a bat, there’s emptied bottles lined up, a trashbag - ohhh, right. they’re smashing these bottles because they’re trash. 

“ mindful violence, ” noah says, imitating gansey’s dialect as he picks up a bottle, “ is the rule of true gentlemen! something, something, dead welsh kings. ” 

he readies to throw. “ mister lynch, up to bat, bat, bat - ” to try and psyche ronan out, noah mimes a toss in one direction, before actually throwing it a bit to the left.

Adam isn’t quite sure what he has to blame for the sudden shift in Ronan’s demeanor. The sudden rush of need and want and hunger that is very evident in the mix of lips and tongue and teeth between them. The same sort of motions that have him pressed up against one of the walls inside of Ronan’s childhood home— hands pinned up over his head in a vain attempt to keep him from moving. He supposes it was the adrenaline of street racing and the fact that Adam had finally, finally agreed to sit in the car with Ronan. Bracing himself as he tore down one of Henrietta’s highways, threatening the integrity of his dad’s BMW with every mile over the speed limit he went in a head to head match with one of Kavinsky’s crew.

He heard Ronan before he saw him. Had winced just slightly when his bedroom door had slammed- the noise echoing through the entire front room of Monmouth Manufacturing. The couch sinks beside him and Adam does his best to ignore the way he can sense Ronan looking at him. Can feel his blue eyes running over the side of his face; taking in the new bruise that's still dappled and darkening by his temple. He feels the swelling starting to encroach over his eyes. It makes it difficult for him to even pretend that he's reading the new entries in Gansey's journal.

The question is a surprise- mostly that it's a genuine question. Not a statement, not an empty threat of retribution or the demand that he leave his home. It takes him a moment and he acts as if he has to think about it. As if he has to try and remember if he'd ever gotten a swing in at all. No- he remembers things well despite the throbbing headache. Remembers hitting the floor after feeling his father's hands on his shoulders. Remembers telling himself to get up and finding out that he'd gotten up too quickly- that his father had perceived it as some sort of sick challenge to his authority. That's when he'd felt the connection. First with his ribs, then with his face when he'd doubled over.

Thinking over Ronan's question for the fifth time, he's forced to laugh. It's soft, it's broken- singular and hollow before he finally speaks.

adam paused- feeling his brows bundling up into a furrow just over his nose, feeling his eyelids coming together in a squint. yes, ronan was being difficult and yes, adam had felt his blood pressure rising as he grew more frustrated with the other boy’s attitude. but to hear those words come out of ronan’s mouth — to hear him dare to sound so defeated — it pulled on each and every sinew and heart string adam contained. there was a multitude of things that could have been said in that moment; encouragement, sarcasm, quick witted remarks. he did his best to come up with something that would be the best mixture of all three.

      ’ — you wouldn’t be ronan if you weren’t like this, though… and i like ronan. ‘