#criticaldependencies

The Box can cause the development of strong dependencies especially in the cases of highly victimized persons. These dependencies come in many forms. While they offer highly victimized people some momentary satisfaction, becoming too dependent on people or other things can lead to mental, emotional, and even physical deterioration. How so? When we submit to someone or something, we become vulnerable to grow dependent on them for our well-being over an extended or a harsh period of time. A steady diet of The Box, or abusive forms of it, causes us to “cave-in” due to its intense control over us. As we form habits in order to please or appease that person or thing we grow more and more dependent on it. Relationships formed based on strong dependencies can actually become our reality, or our perception of reality. Let’s discuss the two types strong dependencies that arise: DEPENDENCIES ON CONTROL: too many abusive forms of directions coupled with threats and use of punishment cause people to “cope” by becoming dependent upon control as their means of being motivated.  In fact, they begin to view the dynamics of relationships in terms of pleasing, manipulating, or escaping those in control—underneath they tend to distrust authority figures.  Over time, abusive and controlling relationships tend to materialize for those who are abused or over-controlled by directions and punishment. DEPENDENCIES ON A HIGH: too many rewards coupled with too much entertainment cause people to constantly expect something good and/or fun as their means of being motivated. In fact, they begin to view the goal in life is to have fun or find pleasure—their work ethic suffers greatly and they tend to act as if they are entitled to feeling high—they tend to get no enjoyment or self-satisfaction from work well done, and grow to hate, fear and/or avoid mundane or hard tasks that are necessary. Over time, parties, fun-loving peers, sexual fun and games, and/or alcohol and drugs tend to become driving influences for those who are abused or manipulated by rewards and entertainment. Two additional points need to be discussed concerning the strong dependencies that arise from abusive or overwhelming forms of The Box. The dependency can be formed in two ways: by making the person more of a vulnerable victim of other controlling types of people, or by causing the person to become too controlling of both others and themselves. A controlling person uses aspects of The Box to control others—some of these people are very likely to develop abusive personalities.  The other and very sad point is that those who are dependent on being controlled will often gravitate to be with abusive or addicted partners. And unless they get the right help, they tend to pick abusive or addicted partners over and over again—a repeating cycle of pain and suffering because of their own dependencies and enabling tendencies. Unfortunately, many consequences of what we do to cope with these growing dependencies also cause us to become embroiled in other dependencies.  Many people get caught up in running up debts, gambling, drinking, taking drugs, needing sexual satisfaction, or resorting to controlling others.  In other words, people create new dependencies in order to ease the pain of the ones they cannot escape or stop.  Some even resort to abusive forms of controlling others. The frightening thing about this is that it can make people feel good about themselves or their situations just because they feel like they are doing something about it.  It is as though they start to feel better about themselves even while they sink deeper and deeper into their dependencies – it’s addictive.  And these growing psychological addictions eventually cause the brain and body to adapt and attempt to help as well – often leading to actual physical or biological addictions.  Dependencies unchecked are nothing to sweep under the table.  Victims of strong dependencies need professional help and understanding -- not criticism, abandonment or relationships that simply keep the dependency alive..     Read the full article