#criptennis

I wrote the words to this song in the spring of 2023. It was spurred by the fact that I had recently gotten my drum set at that time and was thinking about the challenges and joys of playing my drums (and doing other things I love) with cerebral palsy. I sing it with a cool rap beat I found, so just imagine that in your head I guess.

When I was little 

Wished I could ride a bike 

Hopscotch , jump rope, what the balance likes

Living in this body 

isn’t always easy, 

Watching people run, jump, kick, spin

Got me feelin’ jelly

My body moves differently 

Balance isn’t breezy

Now I’m out on the tennis court slayin’

Whackin those balls with my whole heart beatin

I’m doin it for me, cause I feel so happy

Feel the power in my swing, racket’s gonna whack it

When the ball flies it takes some fear with it,

Tryin to let go and also learn to sit with it

Sometimes when I play, the more I feel 

The struggle between hopes and reality is real

I’ll never be the same as those I envy

But I’ll always love life which is pretty damn lucky

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My body is strong and is learning a lot

And I’m learning to be proud of the power I’ve got

Hitting those drums with that same power

Crashin on the crash at a late night hour

I just started playin and already I’m killin it

Better watch me now cause it’s gonna be super lit

Skill is different,  some things are the same

Learning patience, self-acceptance, how to calm my brain

My hands go up and down, my mind is focused

Right hand slower than my left but it’s gettin closer

I play how I can with my disabled body

Try so hard to love myself, even though my strokes are choppy

With each stroke my anxiety wanes 

Feel the rush of dopamine to my brain

When I find myself always wishin

 I had a different body than the one I’m in,

But I’m so happy at the same time 

Of the power in this disabled body

That I call mine

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It feels so strange, this push and pull

Try to love myself,

The ultimate goal 

Also remain curious and not so serious

And also feeling upset

 idolizing others

Tell myself it’s okay to feel 

And let it sit 

Then my power comes in 

And says it’s okay 

This back and forth, it may always be this way

I’ll love you no matter what, at the end of the day