#cricketclaw

In this reply I respond to various questions that have been popping up about minor things in the Bonefall Rewrite, including some clan culture tidbits and general narrative direction

I’m replying to @halogenwarrior, I hope you're cool with me paraphrasing your exact questions and comments. I’m also breaking this up into two sections, one for Rewrite stuff and the next for Clan Culture things

Bonefall Rewrite

Leafpool being mistreated by StarClan is interesting, the motivations of the Three and Squirrelflight are better off for removing StarClan forcing them to do things, but is there a way to keep that struggle for Leafpool? (Reply to this post)

I’m keeping it in mind, but I haven’t thought of anything yet. It’s especially difficult because Leafpool is also unable to ‘drag‘ Jaypaw into the medcat role thanks to Longtail jumping in to train him as a warrior, so there’s very little opportunity to show StarClan sending Leafpool mixed messages.

But on top of it, I’m not sure I want StarClan to just do things that are bad for the sake of doing things that are bad. I’m quite fond of how I’ve fixed their malicious incompetence and made them much less horrible. I can’t figure out a goal that would make them bully Leafpool; in my Rewrite, they do not want the Three and are generally terrified of them. I’d rather have StarClan be consistent than force conflict in where it no longer is.

But, I’m thinking about it.

The title of Bonefall Bluestar’s Prophecy

Right now it’s Bluestar’s Friends because I think that title is delightfully cute in contrast to how the book is about Blue’s friend group forming, falling apart, her being subject to a terrible fate, the death of so much of her family, etc. But I can pitch some other titles and go with the most popular one

I’d like for each redux to have a new title to reflect how it’s different; so other titles could be

Bluestar’s Fate: Emphasizing the StarClan trial that frames the book

Bluestar’s Purpose: Pointing out how Goosefeather has foreseen her destiny and how Bluestar breaks predestination with her actions

Bluestar’s Flower: Referencing thistles as well as forget-me-nots

Bluestar’s Friends: Her friend group is the biggest change about this redux

Will every reduxed arc of the Rewrite have 6 books?

It’s not a hard rule, but it seems to be happening that way. Bonefall TPB perfectly fits into the 6 books of the original arc. Bonefall AVoS will probably be 5. At first I figured Bonefall OotS would be 4, but the more the Dark Forest Trainees get buffed up, the more it seems like 6 books may happen anyway.

TL;DR I just do what feels right but based on how much material I’m adapting, it’s looking like it’ll fall into place as 6-ish books an arc anyway.

Thornclaw and Brightheart Adoption; The Distinctive Tabby Queen

I’m not fully committed to Thornclaw and Brightheart being not biologically the children of Frostfur yet, but I am leaning towards it because everyone seems to find it to be a really interesting idea

If they were found and retrieved from the ShadowClan nursery...

Bluestar and ThunderClan would make some kind of effort to reunite them with their parents, but months go by and they are not found. Their mother may be a dead WindClan queen, or stolen from a rogue, but the trail goes cold and they’re already bonded to their mother Snowfur.

If they were the children of the Distinctive Tabby Queen...

It’s true that it would present a problem to the family tree, since I already had to wiggle and squeeze to fix the tree as it was...

But I could bump Speckletail out of the Tawny/Rain family like I was already considering, and put Distinctive Tabby there instead... she could even be the sister of Darkstripe and a child of Dappletail, Cricketkit.

To the tree it wouldn’t matter because the parentage of Bright and Thorn would get swapped to Frost/Lion for all intents and purposes (adoptions in the BF Rewrite only count towards the adoptive parents), but genetically it could mean Thorn and Bright could qualify for getting great hair.

Cricket would either invoke the Queen’s Rights, or I could simply have it that their sire was Lionheart anyway. As for her full name, Cricketleg or Cricketclaw would be good titles.

Or I could just keep the Frostfour as Frostlion kits biologically and split the litter.

That is the simplest option.

Clan Culture

Aaaand here’s the section for some misc logistical questions

How do Clan Cats make sausage casings?

Hog hunting is very rare because wild boars in England are themselves are both rare AND extremely dangerous (I am, in fact, going to be largely replacing deadly badger and fox encounters with hogs). But it isn’t impossible to hunt them, either. The Tribe would be able to kill them, along with sheep and deer, on a regular basis.

(I would like to make an entry on hog hunting, one day, basing it off medieval boar hunts)

But sausage cases can be made out of any intestine, actually. Humans just tend to use the tracts of goats, cattle, and pigs because that’s a good size for a human and those are the animals we hunt.

Clan cats can use geese, ducks, deer fawns, hares, rabbits, even rats. I’m also trying to find if it’s possible to use the intestines of large carp and salmon, but I can’t find the information I need with a simple search and would have to dig deeper.

I’ll do a ShadowClan Sausage entry for Warrior Bites at some point

Do you plan to use more cat-specific diseases?

Yes! I actually want to limit the Color Coughs to legitimately deadly outbreaks. It’s too casually used, I would like it to be associated with serious, encroaching dread.

A black tortoiseshell and white tom. (Ll, RR, ReRe, lplp, whwh, LyLy|XOXo, BB, Dd, dmdm, aa, McMc, spsp, tata, bmbm, ii, wbwb, EE, ShSh, CC, kk, Wsw|acac, sfsf, JbJb, mm, RtRt, mkmk, pdpd)

(More under the cut)

Aliases / Nicknames: Cricket, Uncle Cricket, Ripperclaw, The Mauler, Protector of The Forgotten 

Gender: tom 

Sexuality: homosexual 

Family: unnamed mother, Whitestar (father), Embercloud, Nightwhisker, Thrushleap (brothers) 

Other Relations: unnamed mentor, Specklepelt (best friend, crush), Eelpaw (apprentice) 

Clan: Prairieclan 

Rank: warrior, rogue 

Characteristics: kills to avenge apprentice and best friend, kills to send a message to other cats, methodical and orderly 

Number of Victims: 8 

Number of Murders: 8 

Murder Method: flaying throats open, breaking spines, gouging eyes, ripping out tongues, ripping ears out of heads, tearing off legs 

Known Victims: Brackenstar, Darkeyes, Poppyshade, Frogflight, Icestep, Spiderstrike, Owltuft, Minnowbreeze 

Victim Profile: leader and medicine cat of his Clan, cats who treated others with disabilities poorly, cats who treated their apprentices/children poorly 

Cause of Death: spine ripped out of body, killed by Embercloud, Nightwhisker, and Thrushleap 

Cautionary Tale: don't treat disabled cats poorly, lest The Mauler catch you doing so

Story: 

It was unfair. So, so, so unfair. Cruel, even.

Eelpaw, Cricketclaw's beloved apprentice, who he had loved like his own child, was dead, forced to have his own lungs fill with worms as Brackenstar and Darkeyes laughed at them for wanting treatment. So what if Eelpaw had killed the rest of the apprentices? Those brats deserved it for what they had done to them. 

Besides, Cricketclaw knew that even if Eelpaw hadn't done anything, Brackenstar and Darkeyes would have still refused to heal them. Because they were different. Because they were a freak. Eelpaw's gills didn't change anything about them--they were still sweet and caring and selfless regardless! Why could nobody see that?

To add insult to injury, poor, poor Specklepelt took the death of his only kit even harder. The once boisterous and happy-go-lucky tom broke for good when his kit died, and he refused to eat at all, slowly starving himself to death, all while Brackenstar and Darkeyes sneered at their own brother as he grew thinner and thinner. 

The worst part of it all was that Cricketclaw never got to tell Specklepelt he loved him before he died. Seeing his best friend since kithood--his one true love--lying dead in a corner of the warrior's den, skinnier than a shrew in leaf-bare, all while Brackenstar and Darkeyes pranced about, caused Cricketclaw's heart to burn with fury.

He killed them both that very same night. 

Eelpaw and Specklepelt's deaths had been drawn out and painful, so Cricketclaw wanted to make sure the same was true for Brackenstar and Darkeyes, using only his left front paw to rip open their throats muscle fiber by muscle fiber, blood vessel by blood vessel. For once in his life, he was thankful he couldn't retract the claws on that paw.

When the deed was done, he fled from the Clan that had caused him so much heartache. He knew that the deputy and his father, Whiteleg, would find both of their bodies, and Cricketclaw at least wanted to spare him and the rest of his family from that anguish of the realization. 

Cricketclaw intended to spend the rest of his days roaming the forest alone, mourning his lost loved ones. But a few moons later, he ended up stumbling into Bushclan territory, and came across the warrior Poppyshade verbally abusing her apprentice Robinpaw, who had been born with a twisted spine. 

Poppyshade was calling Robinpaw worthless and questioning why she had been apprenticed to her, and it made Cricketclaw seethe. It was Eelpaw all over again! Why couldn't they see that apprentices with disabilities were just as capable of being warriors as so-called "normal" ones?

Without even thinking, Cricketclaw sprung out of his hiding spot, bowling over Poppyshade and pressing on her spine, breaking it over and over and over again, only stopping when Poppyshade's body looked like a crushed twig. He then looked up at Robinpaw, calmly instructing her to go back to camp and tell her leader that Poppyshade had been killed by a tree branch. Robinpaw looked up at him with gratitude before nodding and turning back to camp. 

That look of gratitude caused a warm, fuzzy feeling to bloom in Cricketclaw's cold heart--a feeling he hadn't felt since Eelpaw and Specklepelt had died. He vowed to spend the last days of his life killing cats who dared to treat younger, disabled cats with such awfulness. It was the least he could do to honour Eelpaw's memory.

In his murders, Cricketclaw made sure to dole out what he believed was the proper karma to the abusers. Frogflight of Treeclan had been mocking his apprentice, Moonpaw, for being blind, so Cricketclaw gouged out Frogflight's eyes. Icestep of Oceanclan had purposefully not been training his deaf apprentice, Quietpaw, claiming that they were worthless, so Cricketclaw tore off Icestep's ears and left him to bleed out. Spiderstrike of Cliffclan had outright been striking his apprentice, Stonepaw, for tripping over his own twisted front leg during training, so Cricketclaw tore off all of Spiderstrike's legs. 

But in Cricketclaw's wanderings, he had seen way too many cats mistreat not only their own apprentices, but their own kits, even those of fit condition. It made his heart hurt, and he decided to change his goal to freeing all young cats in need from their pain and suffering. 

His first targets in this new endeavor were fellow Clan cats-turned-rogues, Owltuft, formerly of Treeclan, and Minnowbreeze, formerly of Oceanclan. They had left their Clans to raise a family together, though frankly, Cricketclaw suspected that they left so the Clans couldn't see how poorly they mistreated their own kits in broad daylight. 

The poor things were barely two moons old and already quivering in fear at their parents' treatment of them. Unlike Owltuft and Minnowbreeze, Cricketclaw at least had decency, so he lured them both out of their den before slowly flaying away at their throats with just his left front paw, exactly like he had killed Brackenstar and Darkeyes all those moons ago. 

It almost made him feel nostalgic. As he stood back to admire his handiwork, another nostalgic scent wafted into his nose. But why would his brothers be here of all places, so far away from all of the territories? 

He never got to answer that question, as soon, three heavy masses launched themselves out of the bushes, toppling him over. Cricketclaw couldn't even bring himself to look them in the eye, as the shame took over him. He could feel their claws digging into his back, then a popping sound, and it was all over.

Additional Information:

--Submission by @starfalcon555​

--Cricketclaw was never ratted out because the apprentices were all immensely grateful to him for saving them, so they kept his secret with them. Whiteleg/star wasn't really on good terms with Brackenstar and Darkeyes after seeing how Eelpaw was treated, so he didn't go after his son because he kind of believed he had a point

--Embercloud, Nightwhisker, and Thrushleap mainly went after Cricketclaw because they feared him going mad with bloodlust, and they regretted having to be the ones to kill him until their dying days. 

--Cricketclaw is unable to retract the claws on his left front paw because of a snake bite he sustained to that paw when he was an apprentice! It's also the reason why he has the -claw suffix.

It's not a DEFINITE no but TPB is packed as-is, a lot of the conflict is set up around how the Clan has a limited number of cats, especially potential apprentices.

Not to mention how the Tawnyrain Bloodline is alive and well through Graystripe, with Blossomfall and Bumblestripe both alive to the current day.

She DID have kittens in-canon though... which I'm planning to deal with using a novella for my special girl; Spottedleaf's Plague. About 6 months to a year before the events of TPB, a massive plague ravages ThunderClan and takes out many healthy warriors.

Cricket's 3 kits will probably be victims of that plague, along with Thrushpelt, Leopardfoot, Cherrypaw, Chestnutkit, Fuzzypelt, Robinwing, and anyone else who looks at me funny.

I wish! It would be really nice, but unfortunately Cricketclaw HAS to be Redtail's first apprentice. I had to change it away from Mousefur, just to try and avoid the idea that he would end up marrying his apprentice's brother.

I am trying to get Goldenflower, Frostfur, and the other girls more apprentices though. TPB is really bad about the sexism in this aspect.

Aliases / Nicknames: Gillkit, Gillpaw, Gill-cat, Gilly, River Cat, Freak of Nature

Gender: nonbinary 

Sexuality: demisexual, panromantic 

Family: Streamwillow (mother), Specklepelt (father), two unnamed littermates

Other Relations: Cricketclaw (mentor) 

Clan: Prairieclan

Rank: apprentice 

Characteristics: kills cats who have disrespected the environment, has a congenital abnormality that makes it look like they have gills, loves water and nature 

Number of Victims: 5 

Number of Murders: 5 

Murder Method: drowning 

Known Victims: Cherrypaw, Jaypaw, Lizardpaw, Shrewpaw, Redpaw 

Victim Profile: fellow apprentices, bullies 

Cause of Death: parasitic worm infection, neglect

Cautionary Tale: cats should respect their natural environment; those who don't will be dragged underwater by the Gill-cat, never to be seen again

Story: 

Curse. Freak. Abomination. That's all they were known as from the day they were born. 

Eelkit was the result of a forbidden relationship between Streamwillow, the deputy of Oceanclan, and Specklepelt, the bastard half-brother of both the leader and the medicine cat of Prairieclan. That alone would have outcasted them enough, but there was also the fact that Streamwillow had died giving birth to them and their stillborn littermates, dooming them to PrairieCcan, where they were despised for who their father was. 

But more than that, they were despised for their gills. They were born with them, but even if the medicine cat could be half-assed to not snarl at their bastard half-brother's sealogged spawn and actually look at them, they wouldn't be able to figure out why Eelkit had this strange defect anyway. Just another result of them being cursed, the medicine cat--and the rest of the Clan--decided. 

It wasn't much of a shock that Eelkit tried to get out of camp as much as possible, to avoid the sneers and taunts of their Clanmates. As a result, they spent quite their time in the grasslands that dotted surrounded Prairieclan’s camp, and grew immensely fond of all of the natural beauty they held. 

Being half-Oceanclan, they were especially fond of the streams that twisted and turned through the grasslands, and spent a lot of their time swimming or just staring at the rippling water. But they also noticed the increasing amount of Twoleg junk strewn about the grasslands and sunken to the bottom of the streams. They tried their best to clean it up, hoping that the Clan would respect their efforts. But instead, they got laughed at even more. 

The only two cats who encouraged their efforts were Specklepelt and Specklepelt's best friend from childhood, Cricketclaw, who helped the now-single Specklepelt to raise Eelkit. Cricketclaw even went to the leader and requested that Eelkit become his apprentice, which the leader reluctantly approved of.

Eelpaw was over the moon at this, and it was the one big positive for them becoming an apprentice. Unfortunately, Eelpaw very quickly learned that there was a bigger downside to being an apprentice--five bigger downsides, in fact.

Cherrypaw, Redpaw, Jaypaw, Lizardpaw, and Shrewpaw. They had already been rude to them when they were all in the nursery together, but now that they were apprentices, not held back by the mildly disapproving glances of their mothers, they ruthlessly tortured Eelpaw to the ends of the prairie and back.

They started off relatively mildly at first, calling Eelpaw a curse, a freak, and an abomination as they had several times in the nursery. As they learned more fighting skills, they progressed to beating them up in sparring matches with their mentor's encouragement and despite Cricketclaw's best efforts. 

But the worst part was yet to come. The other apprentices approached Eelpaw one day, acting oddly nice, asking then if they wanted to see a pretty spot they had just found. Overjoyed that they had finally accepted him, Eelpaw had accepted without hesitation. 

Instead, the apprentices led Eelpaw to one of their favourite streams, which they had filled with Twoleg junk as a cruel prank. Their sick laughter bounced off of the water, reflecting only disgusting Twoleg junk instead of the gorgeous pebbles and fish, and landed right in Eelpaw's ears. And it broke something.

They wanted to treat them like a monster? Fine. Then they would play the part of a monster...

They started with Lizardpaw, easily the dumbest of their bullies, purposefully aggravating them during training until they demanded a fight near the stream that night. Lizardpaw easily fell for it, just like Eelpaw wanted. Once in the water, their Oceanclan blood allowed them to get the upper paw over Lizardpaw, holding him down at the bottom of the stream until his eyes glazed over. 

Shrewpaw was Lizardpaw's twin, and thus only slightly less dumber than him. His grief actually made it easier for him to fall for Eelpaw's taunting, and the twins were reunited sooner rather than later. 

Jaypaw, their brother, was the only one with any brains in the litter, and quickly confronted Eelpaw soon after, demanding for them to tell him what they had done to his brothers. Oh, Eelpaw did more than just tell him--they showed him exactly what they had done, same fate and all. 

Redpaw fell for the same trick as Lizardpaw and Shrewpaw did, and that only left Cherrypaw. Admittedly, Eelpaw did feel pretty bad about killing her--she had always been the nicest to them out of their bullies, and that niceness intensified as all of the other apprentices "disappeared.”

But they couldn't trust her after how she had participated in the cruel prank. She would probably just put more trash in the streams anyways. Cherrypaw begged and pleaded with Eelpaw as they held her under, saying she would help them clean up all of the trash. But Eelpaw wasn't a fool anymore. They knew she was just trying to trick him. So they just held them down even harder. 

With their goal accomplished, Eelpaw set their sights on being the best warrior they could possibly be. But less than half a moon after Cherrypaw's death, Eelpaw started to feel something wriggling within their gills, and saw pale yellow-white heads sticking out of them. Parasitic worms.

The Clan hated Eelpaw even more after the deaths of the other apprentices, and despite Specklepelt and Cricketclaw's desperate pleading, the leader and medicine cat refused to have them treated. The worms spread further and further down their body. eventually getting into their lungs. From there, the end was thankfully swift and painless.

Additional Information:

--Submission by @starfalcon555​

--Originally wanted to make them more of a Gill-man, but added Swamp Thing aspects for a stronger motivation.

--Their gills are supposed to be on their neck and not on their shoulder, but, you know, picrew.

--Eelpaw got a parasitic worm infection because they liked to eat freshwater snails, which are notorious for being filled with parasitic worms.

--Cherrypaw actually had a crush on Eelpaw, but was goaded by her brother Redpaw and the three brothers into bullying him instead. She always regretted it and wanted to get closer to him, but by the time the bad influences were gone, it was too late for them to forgive her.

--Had they lived to warriorhood, Eelpaw's warrior name would have been Eelpelt, partly for their very thin fur that's as smooth as an eel's skin, partly after Specklepelt.

--They’re probably going to make Cricketclaw a future resident bc they really like his name.

--In the Dark Forest, parasitic worms hang out of Eelpaw's gills 24/7. I Basiltooth would grow fond of them because of this, and he and Smalljump would be like older brothers / fun uncles to him.

got a little bored and made a ref for my boy Cricketclaw!