#creatures ot8

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Jordan isn't sure why he does it to himself, why he keeps going as he does. Maybe it is the sliver of hope that still somehow dwells in his mind.

But no matter how many times he looks, there is nothing else that hate spewing in every direction wherever he looks; be it a video on his own or on the Hub. He scrolls past a few pages of mindless comments, most of which don't even make any sense, when he stumbled along a comment that caught his attention.

Tears spring into his eyes as his shoulders sag.

'Jordan is so fucking stupid! I mean, he doesn't even deserve to be in the Creatures! The others could find someone much better without even looking!'

He gives up and shuts the browser down. He looks as the rendering loading bar slowly climbs up with the percentage. He wants to shut the computer off, but he doesn't have the heart to do so. He spent so much time on that new video; it is the first episode of a new series and he doesn't want to lose all the hard work, even if anyone wouldn't appreciate it.

So he just leaves the computer on as he stands up. He wipes the tears off of his face, but he's sure his cheeks and eyes are still red.

He tries to not let the comments get to him, but no one has impenetrable scales instead of skin. Or it's just him - he's not sure. The lingering panic in his body makes him shake; he leaves his office and trails slowly into the kitchen area to grab some water.

He's pouring himself a glass when he hears someone enter behind him. He turns around to face Aleks, who seems to have had the same intentions as him, only that he is eyeing the Doritos bags sitting on the counter.

"Hey, Aleks?" Jordan asks. He is glad that the small gulp of water that he had helped his voice, because he's sure that it would've been hoarse.

"Yeah?" Aleks responds as he grabs a bag of the snack.

Jordan takes in a shaky breath. "You don't think I'm stupid, do you...?" he asks quietly.

Aleks looks at him confusedly, his eyebrows drawn together. "No. What'd you do this time?"

"Nothing," Jordan shakes his head. "Thanks."

He leaves Aleks alone and treks back to his own office. He thinks that he should've grabbed a bag of Doritos, too, but he doesn't want to go back. The video is done rendering already, so Jordan starts uploading it while he closes the editing program.

His Skype went off, a message from Steven popping up in the bottom corner.

'Good morning!'

Jordan laughs at the younger's sleeping pattern. 'It's one PM,' he responds.

Steven calls him, his video popping up. Jordan answers with a video as well. Steven's face pops onto his screen, his bed head and sleepy look and all.

"Good morning," Steven greets again.

"It is afternoon," Jordan rolls his eyes again.

"I just woke up," Steven defends himself. He brushes his fingers through his hair.

"You're fucking lazy," Jordan says. He watches Steven smile.

"I miss you guys," Steven says offhandedly.

"We miss you too. Can't wait until you come again. Your school year's ending soon, right?" Jordan muses. The linger he thinks, the more he comes to the conclusion that Steven misses the others, nit him, because who'd miss him, after all?

"You miss me too, don't you?" escapes his lips with a soft breath. He didn't want to ask, hr just did.

"Of course!" Steven beams at him with a smile so bright that it could light up the entire office if it had been dark. "Can't wait to see you and let you call me a kitten again," Steven laughs, propping himself against the table. "You've got some weird kinks, let me tell you."

Jordan laughs along with the younger brunet, the void that had spread in his ribcage filling itself with the sound of the other's happy laugh.

"Anthony's calling me," Steven says after a while. "We are gonna record together today. I'll call you again later," he says and hangs up.

Jordan sinks back into his seat. No matter how much he thinks it doesn't, asking the others really makes him feel better.

Though he doesn't want to bother the others, he slips out again and makes his way to the others' offices.

He stops at Seamus' first and knocks softly on the door - he isn't sure if Seamus is or isn't recording.

He hears a groan from the inside. "Who's it this time? Come in," Seamus calls out. Jordan can hear Eddie giggling in there, too. He slowly pushes the door open.

"Hey, you got a sec?" he asks.

"Sure," Seamus shrugs.

"Just a question," Jordan assures when Eddie notes to leave them alone. "You guys love me too, don't you?"

Eddie and Seamus exchange confused looks, taken aback"Of course we do," Seamus says finally. Eddie nods vigorously. "Why?"

"Just uh... checking. Y'know, to see if you guys didn't start cheating on me," he jokes. "I'll uh... leave you two alone now," he continues as he slips back out.

He knows that he'll find Dan in his office working hard, and that is exactly what happens. Dan is editing a new movie trip video; he's concentrating and doesn't seem to notice Jordan entering his office until the other doesn't tap his shoulder.

"Hey, Dan," Jordan greets. Dan takes his headphones off. "You don't think I'm stupid, do you?"

Dan shakes his head. "No. I mean, as long as you didn't eat my sandwich," he jokes.

"What would you do if I did?"

"Oh! You didn't!"

Jordan laughs. "Nah, don't worry, your sandwich is safe in the fridge. Also, good job," he says, pointing at the screen of the PC where Dan didn't pause the edited video.

"Thanks, almost finished."

"I'll leave you to your work," Jordan gives a thumbs up and slips out.

Then he aims for James' office and opens the door without even knocking.

"What the fuck?" James turns around to look at Jordan. He's recording.

"Oh, sorry to interrupt you. I just have a question," Jordan explains himself.

"Yeah, what is it?" James asks.

"You love me right?"

"Yeah, of course I do, you fucker."

"And you don't think I'm dumb, do you?"

"That's two questions," James points out. "But no, you're not dumb. Most of the time anyway. Is that all? I've got a game here."

"Yeah, sorry for bugging you."

"It's cool," Jordan hears as he closes the door after himself quietly.

He feels so much better already, he can't believe he actually took the comment to his heart for even a little second. He gets his phone and settles back in his office, in his comfortable chair. He dials Nick's phone and waits for the other to pick up.

"Hel-"

"I fucking love you so much you have no idea at all and I'm so glad to have you and the others because you're the best boyfriends I could ever wish for and I hope you love me back just as much even though I can be dumb at times. You do, right?" he's out of breath as he finishes.

There are a few seconds of silence on the other side of the line, but then Nick starts laughing. "Fuck yeah I do!"

And Jordan grins to himself and thanks the heavens for having such great boyfriends.