#creature update

Jufly day 13 - Swarm

Despite being like...85% floof, nymbak will form a surprisingly strong swarm around the queen to protect her from anything they deem a threat. For pilots intent on capturing the swarm, they need to get to her, for where she goes, the swarm goes. 

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For months, I have zero active interest in the water - then by chance, I happen to aquire an aquatic OC - and now, for the past month, ocean is all I have been about.

Motto from a wonderful piece of japanese media, Soul Eater.

There definitely is quite some truth in that!

Pre-2020 was the period I was at my peak physical form. I used to go out alot, run around, climb walls with friends, ride bikes (both mtb and bmx).

Although I was under a ton of stress at the time, overall, I wasn't doing bad. I had hobbies, friends, and plenty of activities that kept me busy. I knew my struggles were temporary and my life would change after I graduate, I knew only then I would start living my life.

With 2020 came covid and lockdown - a period, which for me personally, wasn't too bad. I'm a solitary person by nature, so I didn't mind staying home. It made studying and school life much easier and more bearable if anything.

I did, however, stop going out - and with that, stopped exercising.

It's 2023. I've since graduated, started making my own decisions in life, trying out different jobs. Most of my highschool friendships faded out, but that's ok. Majority of my social life was with online friends anyways. I tried going back to exercising a few times, though it never lasted long, so my physique weakened lots and I gained 20kg overall. That didn't matter to me though, as I've had many other achievements and reasons to be happy about.

2024 felt a bit more bland. The first half was decent, I tried going out with my irl friend more (I couldn't do it much prior, due to work travels). My online friendships were slowly fading though, which I'd only realize much later down the year. With that, my mental health began fading too.

2025. I changed my approach to exercises, decided to focus on training at least one day a week, with goal being two days (previously I tried to keep a streak of days and that always failed eventually). Most people stopped poking me for conversations, I felt more and more alone each passing day.

February came, and with it the end of a relationship I cared alot about. I went through all the stages of grief, and a month out of my life felt like a year. I'm not gonna go into details in this post, but that definitely was the darkest point in my life and something definitely died in me.

I can be proud though. I didn't stop exercising. I kept my routine throughout everything that went down. Two days a week, sometimes three. Calisthenics and cardio, if I couldn't run I'd take the skiprope and jump.

It's April. I'm not quite fully healed (doubt I'll ever be), but I'm doing fine. I'm nourishing my friendships, I'm spending a bit of time everyday on my hobbies, and I stick to my exercise routine.

I looked in the mirror today, and to my surprise, I couldn't find it. The small dad bod I've grown used to - it's fading out, and when I sit down, my belly doesn't fold anymore. I've been a bit under the weather, but this realization filled me with hope and motivation again.

The efforts I've been putting in are being rewarded, and all it takes is a little discipline.

...and I better remain, because I sure as well am not looking forward to updating all my posts in the future if my opinion changes

#creature posts - whenever I write something

#creature enjoys - things and posts I like

#creature admires - art made by other people

#creature draws - art made by me

#creature ponders - whenever I leave thoughts on something, either as my own post or as a comment

#rel and #relv - something that I relate to or is relevant to my person

#perrsonal and #creature update - something deeply personal or a life update

#why so serious - memes and posts of otherwise non-serious tone

#nature iz kool - animals, plants, anything nature related

#tech is cool - computers, mechanics, science, anything tech related

Which is why it baffles me so, that I made a conscious decision to begin writing posts here on this website

They will serve as an archive of mine, above all else... though, if an unfortunate soul stumbles along, they are free to comment, of course.

I yet have to figure which tags I'll be using, and for what. So that may be my next post. And some more personal stuff right after - they're still in my head, thoughts and reflections, but that won't last forever, so I'd like to archive them while I still can.

And in case I don't see ya