I'd hate to be a bother if anyone has asked this before, but, regarding your redemption post - shouldn't people who have traumatized others permanently (e.g. rapists, pedophiles, etc.) be exempt from this concept? After all their actions, even with their best intentions, can't change the fact someone else has been traumatized by them (not to mention their value system which led them to committing these acts in the first place).
On the contrary, Iād argue that itās especially important for them. Read the post: ā[Redemption is] making the choice to change the way you live your life, to be better, to do good things instead of bad things and try to make up for the bad things.ā If their past actions have been particularly heinous, itās that much more important that they change, stop doing those things, and live better lives.
Youāre right, their actions now canāt change that they already traumatized someone, because nothing can change the past. Killing the wrongdoer wonāt change that. Torturing them wonāt change that. Giving them an ice cream sundae wonāt change that. Because that is how time and causality work. What we can change and affect is the future. If a rapist decides to stop raping people and become a better person, thatās a good thing for everyone. That is the best possible outcome, because it results in fewer people being raped.
Iām not saying that you, personally, have to give a sex offender a hug or let back into your life anyone whoās harmed you or feel any particular way about any particular person. You donāt. But you do need to refrain from standing in the way of positive change. If you (general you, not necessarily anon you) run around telling people that itās impossible for rapists (or whatever flavor of wrongdoer that you personally hate most) to change or, worse, that they donāt deserve to change, then what happens if people believe you? If you convince someone who hurts people that itās impossible for them to stop hurting people, you take away their motivation to try. You also take away potential sources of help with such a change. Youāre basically campaigning for them to continue hurting people. Which, if this needs to be spelled out, results in more people getting hurt. Which is bad.
We could quibble all day over semantics, whether this concept should be called redemption or atonement or something else. But thatās really not the point. The post youāre referring to is about the human capacity to change for the betterāchange actions and value systemsāand thatās even more important, not less, the worse the things are that someone has done. Because that just means the stakes are higher when it comes to what theyāll do in the future.
Thereās also, of course, a discussion to be had about if and how and by whom this process can be facilitated. Thereās a discussion to be had about how to protect people from individuals who hurt others and arenāt currently inclined to stop. There are plenty more discussions, and theyāre important. But we need to start from the knowledge that if a ābadā person decides to do better, decides to help people instead of hurt them, thatās a win for everyone.
















