#creatorinterview

If you’ve had the pleasure of meeting Fay, then you may already be familiar with the term “polymath”, even if you don’t know it. This term, coined in 1603 by Johann von Wowern, describes a person who is talented in many manners and fields of study. /*

I, for one, think that Faytalepsy - who’s a fanfic writer, digital artist, traditional artist, singer, actress and a biology major, among many other things - definitely qualifies for the title. 

We have our interview on Thursday morning, after trying and failing to set up a meeting twice before because her schedule is beyond filled. Nevertheless, despite the hectic procedure that is setting up this meeting, Fay’s the type of person to put everyone at ease. So, despite our lack of familiarity, I feel myself slumping on my chair and relaxing as I hear her narrate the shenanigans happening in her current play - which is a romantic comedy that would be opening that weekend.

It’s listening to her mellow voice and calm personality that I ask her how long she’s been in fandom overall and, to my surprise, I come to learn she’s much younger than the way she sounds. She’s just starting college after a gap year and she’s been in fandom, actively, for something like seven or nine years, qualifying her as a creator who grew up in the internet, submitted to its critical eye from a young age. 

Anyone who has put forward work to be reviewed by strangers online will know how nerve wrecking it is and yet, she tells me she’s entirely self-taught. Never took a single drawing course, definitely not one for writing either. No, Fay’s unbothered by the external criticism, because she’s a perfectionist and an overachiever. Art classes used to piss her off, because all they did were collages and she wanted to do more.

It’s this desire to see more and beyond that got her started into fanarts in the first place, she tells me. “I’ve always loved to draw, but I wasn’t really good at it, since I only did it in my free time. Being engaged with fandom forced me to practice more, because I wanted to draw the scenes I envisioned, but didn’t have the skillset for it yet. So I practiced and I practiced.” 

I tease her about her type A personality and she doesn’t seem bashful or even shies away. Instead, Fay owns it up with pride, a true overachiever who tells me, “I’m definitely a perfectionist, but I don’t want to hold myself to ‘perfection' standards anymore, I want to have fun. A few years ago I was nearly mortified whenever I started something new, because I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it and then would become discouraged, but now I’ve grown and I've embraced having it be just ‘fun’ and not as perfect. I try loads of things and I will continue to do that, because you find a lot of things you enjoy and are good at, if you try a lot of things.” 

Of course, this isn’t always easy and perfectionism still creeps up here and there. Her writing being the biggest point of contention. 

“I have lots of unfinished works, such as the next chapter of “Sweet Nectar Of Life”, because I can’t post it like this. It isn’t perfect!”

This brings me to our next topic, a question sent in by not only @septemberrie​, but also @lizzabet​. With so many WIPs and different endeavors, how does she manage her time? How does she juggle so many works in progress?

She pauses, weighing the question carefully before explaining, “a year back I didn’t have a good balance. I wrote whenever I wanted to write, only drew when inspiration hit and then I’d go weeks without one or the other. Now I try to actively change that by sketching everyday for 5 or 20 minutes. I don’t want to have too much time pass between publishing new fic and releasing new art, I want to keep a steady progress. If you let weeks pass before you look at your art again, then it’s easy to feel demotivated, because when you come back, you’ll find a bunch of mistakes. So now I really don’t allow myself so much time in between those.”

With such discipline and so many projects, I ask her how she decides to make the leap and upgrade a concept from mere “idea” to “work in progress”?

“Oh, I just write whatever I want to write,” it's her easy answer, “Sometimes one gets neglected for the other, but that's alright. I have a folder for all my works and every once in a while, I switch the documents around, so I can visually see what I have to work on next. Still, even then, it depends on inspiration. For example, some of my multi chapters were never meant to be multi chapters, they just spiraled into it.”

And how’s your writing process?  

“It depends. Usually I have an idea, in Yield I just knew I wanted to write something about them sparring. Then when I have some down time I try to think about how to link the scenes and how they develop. Sometimes I write down the first scene that popped to mind and then later I come back and link the scenes together. Sometimes I have a plan, for example in my multi chapter fics, I always knew what I wanted to happen. I’d write down the topics, like “nightmare”, and then write the scene from that. The writing process itself is a little chaotic. I do always try to have one chapter be at least 1,5k words, because I think it’s the necessary amount to develop the plot. My optimal word count per chapter is between 2k and 3k.”

Her writing process is very clear cut, incredibly methodical. I ask her if her approach to the characters is equally ruled, if she tries to write them to follow canon or if she allows herself to steer away from canon, in the name of fanon and entertainment. 

I can almost hear her shrugging, as she answers, “I don’t think anyone has the 100% true to canon grasp of the characters. I try to do my take of them, which while close to canon, can move away if the situation asks for it. For example in Checking The Inventory, where Farah and Saul make out in the closet, I don’t think it would happen in canon, but I was willing to do it in my own writing. Regardless, one thing I enjoy about Fate’s loose writing is that it gives us a lot of freedom to play with.”

And how does Faytalepsy interpret Farah and Saul in canon, how does she envision their relationship? 

“I don’t think that in canon they’re romantically involved, they wouldn’t dare to take that step. However, they clearly both care about each other, because they went through so much, and both have this desire to be more than a friendship. They have roles to fulfill and responsibilities, so they’d be waiting for the right moment and this moment never comes,” she pauses then and I ask about inspirations, which seems to tip Fay to continue on her previous answer as she stitches the ending, “I’m not sure how my interpretation of their personalities came to be, but probably through reading other people’s fanfics and chatting about it.” 

Because all art is referential, a constant taking and picking from other, never ending telephone game. Nevertheless, even in this eternal game of telephone that is producing content, especially transformative works such as fanfic and fanarts, you can see a person’s personality shine through. In Fay’s case, her fanfics are lyrical, emotionally loaded and incredibly immersive. Fay’s works will suck you in a character’s head space and you’ll come out dizzy with her beautiful descriptions and her ability to put a character under the microscope. Her fanarts are filled with color, dramatic lighting – look no further than this drawing of silrah in a dramatic sunset – and very sensual, showcased by the many many drawings of Saul almost worshiping at Farah’s altar — such as here.

Her drawing and painting inspirations are diverse, a mismatch between indie instagram artists and the grand masters, because she really loves walking through museums. Nevertheless, if she had to pick one piece, it would be Van Gogh’s Starry Night. 

Always the overachiever, though, she has projects still waiting for the perfect moment to happen, the perfect “skill set” as Fay herself puts it. One example being a painting of Saul in his cell after he’s captured, with Farah’s ghost appearing in the cut outs of the moonlight, which leaks in through the bars before him. 

What about her expectations for season 2? Or even, the hanging conflict between Andreas and Saul? 

Her answer, very much as her art, is dramatic: 

“I want to see Sky kill Andreas and ultimately choose Saul as his father. In fact, I want to see Sky killing Andreas more than Saul killing Andreas. I wonder if all those years in isolation made Andreas a little crazy… I want to see Saul struggle with what Sky did, but eventually for him to realize he did the right thing by killing Andreas.  In regards to season two… First of all I’m really afraid. I love Farah and I’ll spend all my wishes on her coming back. I’m really excited to see in what direction the show goes and to learn more about Rosalind and what her goals are. I’m not as interested in the teenagers, shocking I know, but because I’m not as emotionally invested, I’m open to a lot more things. I really want to see what’s going to happen with Beatrix. She has the potential to become Rosalind’s henchwoman or to turn against Roz and I like either option.”

We then move onto the quick fire questions, the one she doesn’t have as much time to ponder over and definitely my favorite part of the interview, seeing as sometimes you can see a person shocked by their own answer. 

What is she expecting from Saul’s character development in season two? (It’s important to note, this interview happened before the trailer had been dropped).

She hesitates, “expecting or wishing for? Wishfully expecting, given that he shows up at all, I want him to face his demons. He’s been suffering from it, but he just projected it all onto Sky. He hasn’t really worked through his trauma and now he’ll be forced to do it. I really really want to see him grow more into the role of a father to Sky, accepting that over the years he has raised Sky. Of course, I want to see how he deals with Farah’s death, I don’t want this swept under the rug. I can’t say what I expect there, because we’re all in the dark when it comes to Farah… Oh and I want him to survive!” 

Talking about Farah, does she believe they’ll manage to bring her back? 

Now there’s no hesitation, seeing as it is the number one question on this side of the fandom, the most pressing question in almost any social media when it comes to Fate. 

“I really want to believe it. Because I love Farah and she’s basically the whole reason I watch the show, but I really don’t want to hope as much, because then I’ll be disappointed. Silrah and Farah have been really popular, so it could be that they saw that and worked her in. I don't think they had it planned from the beginning though,” the ever realistic Fay's got her hopes down and her feet firmly planted on the ground, “I hope there will be at least an attempt to bring her back. What about the ethics of bringing a person back from the dead? I don’t care. Personally my headcanon is that she hasn’t really died, as in the cartoons where she’s transformed into a tree. In case she really is dead, though, and they bring her back, then I think the repercussions must be more severe. I don’t want a zombie, but I do want to see some consequences from that act alone.” 

What is it that she enjoys writing about silrah the most?

“I think the thing I love about silrah most is the chance to portray the pining… The longing. The scene that inspired me the most in the canon is the scene at the end of episode 2, when they’re alone in the office. Having trauma but still going out of your way to care for those you love. The aspect I like writing most is angst, in one of my first fics, “Fighting For You” - there’s a scene where he realizes she’s in danger and Farah is fighting for her life, Saul thinks she’s going to die, and all this despair and suspense melts away as he finds her. That uncertainty, the pain and then the subsequent melting off… That’s what I enjoy writing.”

I hit her with the dreaded question among creators, but Fay isn’t daunted by it - she embraces it, with a vivacity that’s present in all of her creations, including in this interview. Fay is just one of those people whose confidence, or rather, bravery, is inspiring. 

Which work is she most proud of? 

“I really liked one of the earlier paintings I did of them dancing, because it was there I realized my art had come a long way from when I started. Also the one I did for the winxsource prompt of Farah and Rosalind. For fanfic this is much harder. I’m really proud of The Seventh Grave. I enjoyed writing Yield and Sweet Nectar of Life, but especially Fighting for You, because it’s been my longest fanfic and, since it is still ongoing, it’s my companion.”

What about her three favorite fic tropes? 

“Slowburn, enemies to lovers… There’s only one bed”

And three tropes she despises? 

“I don't like forced marriages… Sometimes they’re written really well and I do enjoy it, but it’s hard to come by. I don’t understand the hype with coffee shop AUs and I really don’t care about pregnancy fic.” 

When it comes to writing, any specific inspirations? 

“Oh anything by @septemberrie​ - Skye - and specifically “The Grief That Does Not Speak”, written by Sae_G. All of their works are amazing. I do have to say that I’ve read every single silrah fic that is out there, so all these crumbs, they’re a big part of what inspires me when writing these characters.” 

And finally, does she want to shout out to anyone? 

Her answer is heartwarming, but Fay drives home how incredibly wise she is too as she says, 

“A general shout out to everyone who reads my stuff.  I do primarily write for myself, but I love reading through all these comments. Reading through them makes me happy and validates, all over again, what I do. A big shout out to everyone who’s in the discord server, this amazing community we’ve built, and for everyone who talks about silrah,” then with a chuckle, “and for my sister who’s always very rude when I’m drawing.”

I call Mo up on a Saturday evening, it’s 5 o’clock for me, 4 for her. 

"I went shopping today," she tells me, then promptly turns on the camera so I can see a bunch of shopping bags and sundresses, while she's sitting barefoot on the hardwood floor of her house. For the first ten minutes of our interview it is just us, cooing over the new clothing, the good discounts she got and how there's not a single good dress store near her, then, easy like that she tells me, "okay, hit me with the questions." 

That's Monalisa, known as gossipqueen2000 on AO3, for you. The loudest extrovert in the block, who carries the easiest conversations and switches topics in the same chaotic pace her brain works on. 

I ask her the question we got the most, by anons, @blue-aconite and @astrid-v alike, what's your writing process? 

She scoffs, "you know what my writing process is like, it's chaotic." And it is, in the best way possible. Mo continues, “I do go chronologically, but not always in complete sentences, because my brain works faster than my hands. More often than not dialogue comes first and I write it down before I forget and then I come back up and fill in the gaps. Normally I know the ending, or at least wherever I want the story to go… I would love to say I have an outline, but no I don’t often start out with one. I have one in my head and when I do get stuck, then I write it down, if for no other reason than just so my beta can get to know what’s happening!”

She laughs then, an inside joke because I’m her beta and yes, this is a recurring argument we have. Mo’s got a loud, explosive laugh, the type that makes you laugh in return even if you’re not in on the joke, even if you don’t know the subject at all. 

Still laughing, she tells me, “most people don’t want to admit it, but as writers, we usually don’t control the characters,” finally she’s serious, “we just become vessels for them. Often they just do whatever they want to do and you have to handle it.” 

I ask her if she’s a planner or pantser (question asked by @leadingrebel) and for a second we both scramble, thinking the second term means “painter”. She doesn’t think about it for a second, launching on her answer, “Oh, I’m a painter for sure. To me it’s way more about capturing the emotion of the scene, than getting down the details. I can always come back and add them, like a painter, after I have the whole thing down I can then pause and think oh, here I could add more shadows, more texture, but initially it is about capturing an emotion. Sometimes I find that if I write too much detail down outright, then I lose the will to write, because it’s like… What’s going to happen is on the paper, is it not? Why do I have to bother actually writing it now?”

I let her finish, then I say “It’s actually pantser, I just googled it. Not painter” and she lets out a gasp and laughs, exclaiming, “well I like my version better. It should be painter.” 

I agree, as I know any of her readers would. Her stories are impressionist paintings in words: beautiful from afar, yes, but upon closer inspection they’re a constant breaking of the rules, sentences that go on for too long and read like slam poetry instead of simple prose, an explosive use of adjectives and characters who feel so much, too much. When reading Gossipqueen2000’s works sunlight is not just white, it dances on the water with splashes of orange, red, blue and green. 

What’s the hardest scene you’ve written?

She lets out a morose sigh, “smut scenes! Wait, no, let me rephrase this — Smut scenes are technically difficult. It’s a hard balance to not make it sound like a cheap porno or an anatomy book. It has to be actually hot. So, for me, that’s the hardest to write, which is sad because I think all stories should have some sexy sprinkled in,” then she takes a deep breath before continuing, “now emotionally speaking, I think the fic I wrote for the last Holiday Exchange - Vendetta -, which had a torture scene in it, was the hardest to write. Because I think writing torture and making it physical and equally vulnerable is difficult, a lot of times I pick a perspective to write from and I try to make it hurt me. I have to believe what I’m writing and if it’s not hurting me, then I don’t think it’s going to hurt anyone.” 

And what scenes are you really proud of writing?

“In Love, Lived and Lost there’s a scene between Riven and a flute player and I remember writing it and being really proud of  how the overall story flowed, — that whole story came out a lot better than I expected, it was the first time I wrote something so short, but that conveys such a long period of time and I was very proud of that —,  but specially of how that scene sounded, when read out loud.”

Then I ask her the question all writers hate and secretly love just the same, what’s your favorite work you’ve produced? 

The change in the mood is immediate, gone is the serious tone and she gasps dramatically. I can just see her clutching her chest, the theater kid that she is at heart, “AAH, don’t do this! This is like asking a mom what they’re favorite child is! Can I give the top 3?” 

Sure. 

“Number 1 is Loved, Lived and Lost and number 2 is Fenice; I’m very proud of both, but while Fenice has potential to reach number 1 when I finish it, for now it stays as second. Now the third one… I’m debating between Isn’t Bite Also Touch and Behind Closed Doors…” she takes a long pause and I know she’s got her AO3 open and is scrolling through her works, the same way I am, “but Isn’t Bite Also Touch has too many unpublished parts which are my favorite, so I’ll go with Behind Closed Doors. I’m very proud of this one.” 

Both Isn’t Bite Also Touch and Behind Closed Doors are smut fics, the ones she claimed are very difficult to write. I don’t point it out to her, instead I ask what’s the easiest thing to write and she snorts at my question, because for anyone who’s so much as opened her collection of works, it should jump to the eye. 

“Angst, duh. Pain. I love a good angst. I love a good hurt. Pain is a solid bed fellow and I’ve hooked up with it a couple of times. You can make it diverse, you can sprinkle variety, but pain is always amazing to write.” 

In a teasing manner, given the previous answer, I ask if she draws from real life experience.

“Oh my god, all the time. ALL THE TIME. So much of who I am seeps into it, but I do think this is true for all authors. Especially with a material like Fate, where the characters are in our age group,” then she pauses “or should be,” Mo says, a jab at the characters who supposedly are sixteen year old, but all look like college kids. We both scoff at this and she continues, “So much of who you are when you’re this close in age to a character – from the fashion sense, to the food they eat, etc — ends up inevitably leaking into the story.”

What do you do for a living? How and when did you choose your career path? — I ask this in a somewhat hesitant way, because I know Mo values her privacy and she too stops before answering. 

“I work in public service and I know it’s vague, but I want to keep it that way,” she says cautiously, “I always knew I wanted to be in public service. My entire family’s made of people who are in the public service and I grew up knowing that my job, whatever I chose it, would be something that could help others. I didn’t have a straight line of career and if you’re in your twenties, my one advice is take those small roads. There’s no shame in working retail, there’s no shame in working for others and we do what we have to do… Just keep your eyes in the big picture.” 

This answer is very reminiscent of how she writes, of the little rich channels and tangents that flourish in the midst of thousands and thousands words, all coming together in the end to form a beautiful larger picture. We leak into our writing, as Mo said and we leak into our interviews. 

We jump into the last segment of the interview, flash questions, but I already know she’s going to take me on a trip, because Mo’s never done anything “quick and done” in her life. 

Describe your writing in three words? (question asked by @lizzabet)

“Chaos, passion and… Vulnerability.” 

Do you have a somewhat bad habit that you don't want to give up? If so, why?

“I start WIPS all the time, even though I have no time. I don’t want to give it up, though, because ideas slip through our fingers sometimes and just because I don’t have time right now, doesn’t mean I won’t have time later. This translates in my real life too, I have a lot of goals and I like to know I’m having some movement in them, even if I don’t get to accomplish them now. The bad side of this is that sometimes having so many tabs open makes the actual accomplishments diminish in comparison and I have to remind myself when I finish a chapter that this is worth celebrating, even if I didn’t finish all the other 30 fics yet. YET!” 

Which unexplained thing in the world would you like to explain in one of your works one day? 

“What is an unexplained thing in the world? Like if we’re talking about real life mysteries like loch ness monster, folklore, etc. I’d like to have a crack at all of them, eventually.”

Which fate character do you consider to be the most realistic? 

“As a highschooler, none of them. If we think of them as college kids, I can't believe I’m gonna say this, but I think… Aisha, Musa and Sam. Sam because he’s so bland, he’s got no personality and I’m sorry, but if he just disappears I wouldn’t be mad. Musa because I think tuning yourself out is a very natural reaction to trauma and grief and I’ve even done this myself. I think she’s very realistic. Aisha because I’ve known people who were very type A and I like that they showed us one character who doesn't think checking out the weird noise in the night is a good idea and I think she’s very real in that regard.” 

What type of fan content do you make (Fics, gifsets, videos…)? 

“I only write, I don’t know how to draw or gif.”

Since when have you been making fan content? 

“I’ve been reading fanfics since I found out about the internet, far too early for some of the stuff I read. The first time I wrote fanfic I was 13 or 14 it was for another fandom, but I wasn’t involved WITH the fandom then, I just produced it and left it there.” 

How did you get involved with Fate?

“When I found Fate, I had very low expectations, which worked in my favor and got me hooked! I’ve been in this fandom since the start. “

What part of fandom are you most grateful for?

“I think the real friendships I made are the ones I’m most grateful for. I was never active in fandom, truly, until pandemic hit and I’m grateful for having it when the world was/is going insane.” 

Based only on likes and comments, how many people do you think read/see your work?

“Fifty people, but they’re the best fifty people.“

I have to pause at this and roll my eyes, because with Fenice sitting on 400 kudos and 10.348 hits, she must be really bad at math. Writers, sigh. 

Do you find reviews of your work useful?

“OMG yes, sometimes they’re the best motivators and they help you flesh out your stories. Especially before I had a beta, a lot of times I didn’t know exactly how my scenes were coming across and the comments really helped! Now, even though I do have a beta, I still think they’re very inspiring. It’s satisfying to see if the scenes I wanted to hit actually hit. They’re the best part of writing, hearing that people enjoyed your work!” 

“I also want to brag that I get the best comments. I love @leadingrebel​, she used to leave the best comments on Fenice, they made my day. I used to really get the best comments on that story!”

What type of content do you interact with more often in the Fate fandom? Do you have favorites or recommendations? 

“I love reading and I really recommend How the Night Changes by @skloomdumpster​ and A Man Plants a Tree in Whose Shade He May Never Sit by @septemberrie​, not just because I beta-read both of them. Tempting Fate by both @fitztragedy​ and @septemberrie​ was fantastic and that anonymous writer who did the rivusa series at the very beginning, their work was great!”

What are you working on at the moment? Can you give us a sneak peek?

“I’m still working on Fenice, but right now I'm also working on an unpublished story called Troy and I don’t think a sneak peek would make any sense. All I can tell is that it is a fantasy/historical AU, centered around my favorite ships rivusa and skloom. I’m not publishing until I have written everything, because the thing I learned the most while writing Fenice is that, especially with such long works, it really helps with the cohesiveness of it all to write the entire thing first, before publishing. You can always come back and add more, but it’s good to have the entire material done.”

We both stop, take our drinks and stretch. Now’s the time for the dreaded questions she’s known I’d get into from the start. 

Fenice, easily one of the most well spoken fics in the fandom and that is an epic in itself, as it is nearly a hundred thousand words, still unfinished. I start easy: 

Where did you get inspiration for Fenice?

There were several works that were coming up back to back when Fate just came out. Several that definitely inspired me: there was this writer who was anonymous and did the rivusa series, Breathe Again by @alphinias​ was one, Too Much Too Little by @fitztragedy​ and @skloomdumpster​/lilshitwayne was another and the one thing I noticed was that they explored the war times we suppose are gonna happen, but I wanted to explore the aftermath. I wanted to skip the war entirely and deal with its aftermath, but it also started as a need to see how these two people could come together and grow with each other, supporting one another. 

If you were to change something or rewrite, how would you do Fenice now?

“One of the headcanons for Fenice was that Riven was kinda stuck, he was in no man’s land. He was with Beatrix and Rosalind, but he had also helped the heroes. At the time my understanding of Riven wasn’t so great and now, after writing more and reading more, if I was to rewrite it I’d make Riven a lot more loud in terms of pushing back against the ‘adults’. He wouldn’t be as quiet as I made him, in terms of how he deals with Saul, but I also think his quietness has a purpose in Fenice.”

“Once you flash down these characters, I can see that Sky is the Prince Charming archetype, who will sacrifice himself to save everyone if given the option. It’s a line he’s willing to cross and we know it from the start.”

“Riven’s character has always been the Pirate archetype: he’s the rebel and antihero who doesn’t respect authority, but he has rules and morals too, except it’s his own code. It’s not that he likes chaos and wants the world to burn, but that he’ll do it if it benefits him and helps those whom he loves. I think now if I was to rewrite Fenice, Riven would start more vengeful, which he didn’t really get to do. I’d make him more angry at his situation, than sad.”

 And finally, When are we getting the final chapter of Fenice? 

“I feel so bad whenever someone asks me about this! Not because I don’t love Fenice, but because it is so close to the end – I think we only have two chapters more —, but I’m nothing if not a slave to my muse. My absolute aim is that this will be finished before season 2 is released. I also want to say that I never thought I’d get such loyal readers. I never thought the story was that unique and it’s beyond humbling to see people actually care and continue to want to read it.”

We both breathe out as this is the last big question and I ask her if there’s anything she wants to tell but that I haven’t asked?  

“Writing is my therapy.” 

I remember one last question @septemberrie​ sent, in gif format, a simple “How dare you?” regarding all the tears she’s made us cry, all the cliffhangers she’s left us on. 

Mo takes a pause, then I can hear her shrug and can see her easy smile as she answers “when one has such great friends, such as all of you, how can one possibly not dare?”