#crazylily

In the middle of Robin’s smurfette rant Lily intercedes as the very typical, very over emotional female friend. As Robin rags on women, Lily begins to tear up. Typical girl move, right?

Acting as a foil to Robin’s smurfette character in this episode, Lily is the stereotype of females. Crying, whining, oversensitive...everything that Robin was complaining about a second before that. This portrayal of Lily-which occurs quite often throughout the show I might add- serves as the perfect compliment to Robin, and is the icing on the cake to the sexism that the show demonstrates. Robin demeans women, and Lily proves her point with her oversensitivity and waterworks.

Once she has composed herself, Lily comes to the conclusion that Robin needs another female friend. But don’t worry; the best of Lily is yet to come. After finding Robin this female friend, Lily realizes her mistake. Robin and this woman are actually hitting it off…and the stranger is moving in on HER best friend! As a female, the only natural reaction to this is sheer jealousy, right? That’s what this scene teaches us at least. Lily’s reaction to Robin’s short-lived friendship is the epitome of the female stereotype: jealous, impulsive, and a bit nuts. Lily moves in on the girl, warning her to “stay the hell away” from Robin, or else.

This whole encounter is more over-the-top than the usual subtle sexism that How I Met Your Mother portrays, but is extremely effective in showing women as envious and sensitive. Lily has definitely had her moments previous to this episode as well, and is portrayed as the “stereotypical woman” numerous times throughout each season. Despite being the kick-butt and confident woman we know so well, at least once an episode she loses her composure for some reason and spirals into the stereotypical female, either crying or raging about something seemingly insignificant. This seriously undermines the female gender as a whole, portraying every woman as mentally unstable and sensitive. Thanks, Lily, for making us all look crazy!

On the surface, Lily is seen as a pretty independent and “b.a.” character. She has a career for most of the show, isn't afraid to speak her mind, and is the more dominant one in her and Marshall's relationship. That's why watching her brag about her "Marshpillow" is so disappointing. It tears away any respect we have for her as a character, belittling her to nothing more than a needy wife, completely dependent on her husband's presence to fulfill her.

With Marshall still MIA from the Barney/Robin wedding, Lily has succumbed to alcohol to get her through the day. Be at a wedding without her husband? No way José! The only way to get through her husband's absence is to down drink after drink, hiring Linus (a bartender with a gorgeous smile) to ensure that she has a bottomless cup. This needy behavior comes to a climax when Lily brings out the “Marshpillow,” a life-size replica of her husband in pillow form, which she substitutes for Marshall every time he is away from her for any extended period of time. Seems a bit over-the-top, right?

The gang plays it off as totally normal, however, sympathizing with Lily for needing to compensate for her absent husband. That's what any woman would do, right? Without a man to complete them, women become helpless and lonely, doing anything to fill the void that their man has left them with. That is the picture that Lily paints in this episode. The “Marshpillow” perpetuates the idea that Lily, and therefore women in general, cannot really be happy without a man actively in the picture. It tells women that they are expected to feel lost and alone without a man in their life, and that they should take whatever action necessary to fill the hole that must be present whenever a man is not present.

The “Marshpillow” scene of this episode is a great example of the “cuddly sexism” that fellow blogger E. Sinkhorn uses to describe How I Met Your Mother in previous seasons. Basically what Sinkhorn means is that the sexism in this show is less noticeable because the male characters are viewed as decent guys, and the female characters are okay with the way they are treated. Since both Lily and Robin-along with the guys of course- are completely okay with the idea of a “Marshpillow,” it makes the idea seem way less sexist and stereotypical. The way that the pillow is played off as completely normal and used in the rest of the episode further emphasizes that a man’s, in this case Marshall’s, presence, is much more valued than a woman’s could ever be. But, by portraying the “Marshpillow” in a casual and funny way, we don’t notice the stereotype that is being used to label women. This does exactly what Sinkhorn describes, softening the sexism until it is subtle enough to go almost unnoticed.