#crazyexboyfriend

Good morning and Happy Sunday. It's almost a new month. Again. January of 2022 is finishing and I can already feel that 2022 is going to go by faster than last year. I'm here today to talk about my ex reaching out to me on Facebook only to find out that he had actually been reaching out to me from jail. First off I have not seen my ex in probably 8 or 9 years. He was my first real boyfriend, the first guy I ever said "I love you" to. I went out with him when I was 18-19 if I remember correctly.

I had broken up with him because I felt like he had nothing going for himself and I realized he really was not the guy for me. More and more I felt like I was the only motivation he had in life to do better and it just got to a point where I had all of these great things going on to share with him and he would have nothing. When we broke up it was a civil and healthy break up but then he deleted his Facebook account and completely cut me off.

It was a long time ago so I'm not remembering the details but I just remember him falling off the face of the planet. I also remember having a hard time being with other guys shortly after him. Guys were reaching out to me but I did not feel comfortable going out with someone new yet because I could not get him out of my head for a while. In all honesty it hurt at the time that he cut me off with no explanation but now I realize it forced me to forget about him and probably was just his way of moving on.

Anyway. To my surprise he sent me a friend request on Facebook recently and he private messaged me asking how I was doing and asked for my phone number. Thinking nothing of it I gave him my phone number and the following day I got a phone call from jail. What the heck? Why is he in jail? Why is he calling me? What is the real reason he's reaching out to me? Is he okay? He called me back to back four times and I did not answer.

Shortly after I got another Facebook message this time saying that it was actually his mom messaging me and that he just wants a friend to talk to. First of all it felt shady that his mom began the Facebook message acting as if she was him. It was nice that she explained things to me after but the fact that she started off the conversation as him made me skeptical. He kept calling my phone after that multiple times throughout the day and I never answered. He ended up sending his mom a message to send to me and while the message seemed honest and heart felt I could not bring myself to reply. I don't regret the decision of never answering the phone and here's why:

This was another test from the universe testing my commitment to protect my energy. I am healing from the biggest break up of my life right now and I do not need to be offering emotional support for another guy. Looking back at my dating history I feel like part of where I went wrong was I never quite dated with intention. I kind of let guys into my life just because they were attracted to me and I liked them. I let guys use my time, my body, my energy and my emotional support because I didn't know any better at the time. In the message my ex sent to me he used the word "friend". Referring to me as "a friend" he needed. As far as I'm concerned though, we aren't friends.

I know nothing about him and he knows nothing about me. He wasn't there during these past 9 or 10 years of my life. I shouldn't have to welcome him back into my life after all of this time because he's in a time of need. As I am writing this now I am so proud of myself for sticking to that decision. Myself 5 years from now would have answered those phone calls. If he had called me 5 years ago I would have offered my support. Not today! I am tired of being an emotional support pillow for messed up men. Tired! I am drained. For once I need a man to be there for me. I need a man to never give up on me and to lift me up when I'm down.

I've learned my lesson and I think I passed this test. Am I going to keep allowing scrubs in my life (for lack of a better term) or am I going to set a standard for myself to attract real men in my life? I'm gona go with real men! The scrubs stop here. Right now. Cue the TLC No Scrubs music ladies!

Thank you for reading this little story of mine. Peace and love.