#crashdowncafe

Synopsis: Bizarre things start happening in the little New Mexico town where UFOs were spotted in 1947. Cut to 1999, when a cute high-school student saves the life of a teenage waitress. Surrounded by cliques of clever, angst-filled classmates, the two form a bond that threatens the survival of a secret universe involving superhuman powers, a yen for hot sauce and an alien gene pool.

Note from me: This show was terrible the first time around and still continues to be terrible. It is delightful! 

S1E1: OMG, this is where I discovered my love for Dido in my early 20′s. Angsty young unrequited love FTW! Worst fake gunshot wound ever. C- on special effects guys. Get it together. I do love me a show that jumps the shark in the pilot though!

S1E2: Wow, I forgot how much of a spazz Kyle was. Also, what is wrong with everyones hair? Max is essentially a stalker.  Ms. Topolsky is totes a spy. 

S1E3: I kinda like Mean Isabel, she is such a whiny mess later. Also, OMG the cell phones KILL me! So HUGE! Would teens in 1999 even have cell phones? *I* didn’t even have a cell phone in 1999. 

S1E4: Poor grandma. I wonder how many older actresses have these jobs - oh hey, you’ll be the beloved grandmother that no one had ever mentioned come to visit and then promptly die because we need an emotional death but don’t want to actually kill off any of the lead characters. You’ll get about three speaking lines before death onsets. K-thx-bye

S1E5: Lolololololol of course Liz’s journal has gone missing. Didn’t see that coming at all. 

S1E6: I really delighted in the geometric dome. Long live hippy alien conspiracies. 

S1E7: All the Native American/Indian reservation stuff makes me uncomfortable. It’s New Mexico, so I get it. But my guess is it is very appropriation-y.

S1E8: When are these two finally going to kiss, this is ridiculous. They must be masturbating 40 times a day with all that tension. Also, poor Alex. 

S1E9: Whelp, they finally kissed. Thank god.  Also, they are really going to try and put Alex and Isabelle together? They have like, negative a million chemistry.

S1E10: Meh, next. But seriously, his hair! Wtf?! It’s so distracting. Also, those healing stones are so tacky. 

S1E11: I’m sorry, mom only just NOW decides to question/remember Max about his strange behavior and healing abilities? I call shenanigans. And who doesn’t know about grease fires and water? Maybe mom is just not very smart?

S1E12: This episode is also hilariously bad. So far fetched. Does New Mexico even have woods like this? 

S1E13: Oh great, that couple again. The convention is amazing though. I really hope Roswell has a convention like this. The alien hunter bringing Max and the sheriff together. What an unexpected 180. 

S1E14: Max drunk is literally the best. Hilarious. This whole episode is so embarrassing. I loved it.

S1E15: Again, no one picked up on Michael’s foster Dad being abusive? Also, how in the world did that guy become a foster parent? Were are the case workers? Also, LOL on Michael being emancipated in one afternoon. 

S1E16: This episode is amazing! How to have teen sex and talk about orgasms without actually having teen sex. I laughed, I cried. I swear there is like 30 mins of making out for the 40min episode. Making up for lost time. Probably down to only masturbating 20 times a day. 

S1E17: It was all fun and games with this rewatch until Tess showed up. Blech. 

S1E18: Gross. Gross. Gross. Gross. I hate Tess. I suddenly understand why I have not liked Emilie de Raven in literally anything. The Roswell effect. Harding is spooky AF, wasn’t this actor a creepy alien in something else? Side note: Poor crazy conflicted Topolsky. RIP with your tin hat. 

S1E19:  Harding/Nasedo continues to be a creepy MF. Also, Michael and Isabel...okay? But mostly blech. Tess is literally evil incarnate. Also, wtf, who is set design on this show. They get an F. 

S1E20: Again with that ridiculous book. Set design still gets an F. They must have had a really low budget. Even for the 90′s this is bad. A metal spiral notebook? I was so distracted by this I think I missed half the episode. Nasedo is soooo gross as Max.  Agent Pierce/Deputy whatever is ridic, this guy is like a month older than the other actors, how could he be the lead guy of that unit?

S1E21: Poor Max. Poor this shows special effects. I legit enjoyed Max’s brush off of Tess for Liz though.