#crash pops

CRASH DOODLES!!! (I AM GOING INSANE)

(also I forgor about target😭😭😭)

-CRASH-

James would be such a fucking menace because he'd (accidentally?) encourage Duke and blow so many things up.

"Whaaaaaaatttttttttt? You're only taking that little explosives with you? You should always carry extra incase something goes wrong!"

James then proceeds to somehow fuck up every mission yet makes sure they are successful. The team needs that. And for some reason this untrained, very old man can help them with that.

I can see him being called Papa James or Pops Senior.

Pops absolutely despises and loves James. How is he supposed to command an 82yr old man who showed up out of the blue and just joined their team? Command has no idea where the fuck he came from- but he won't leave! And isn't abandoning an old man in "dangerous" territory senior abuse?

He probably tries to put a tracker on James so he can keep track of wherever he is going. The last thing he needs is another JR incident. (James Randal incident ― aka anytime he manages to fuck up n' fix things.) Well, they are a FIXER Team. Maybe he can stay.

And at least James keeps Peanut (sort of) on task!

And Crash is incredibly annoyed by James. But then again, when isn't he annoyed?

Don't get him started on SAMMIE. He thought he was only into houses. Apparently his interest expands to modified Heavy Machine Guns.

"Hey, beautiful. You come here often?" James asks as he wiggles his eyebrows seductively.

Yeah... James has been banned from being alone with any heavy machinery. There's a 110% chance he'll either fuck it or fuck with it. Izzy feels a headache coming on anytime James Randal enters a room.

-RvB (Blood Gulch Chronicles)-

Oh, gods. They're suspicious that he might be an alien at first. Or be some sort of puppet for something bad.

An old man wandering around Blood Gulch looking for the local burger joint? That's... something none of them have ever seen before.

And he's carrying a minigun! Don't worry. He told Caboose it was just a prop.

James Randal is the type of mother fucker to just switch sides whenever he feels like it. They just kind of let him go freely, like a stray cat. He refuses to wear armor because it feels too itchy. He's gotta be free!

And I mean... he's useful. He uses his landscaping abilities to make the dirt and rocks look- even better somehow?

Also, you still can't let this man near any military equipment. Someone is going to end up dead and he'll just say "oopsie!"

He definitely flirted with Donut because of the pink light red armor.

"I already told you Mr. Randal, I'm not a girl!"

"That armor tells me otherwise, sweetheart. Give daddy Randal a kiss on the cheek."

Grif and Simmons are laughing their asses off in the corner. Sarge has to break it up.

Tucker and James definitely get into some shenanigans. Mostly because James is like "what a kind young man. I was even more of a sexual deviant when I was his age."

Caboose and James are besties. They match each other's energy.

James is so ready to help Caboose with his journey on making Church his bff. James is so ready to help the private with his training. He'll even help teach him how to drive Shelia! Does James know how to drive a tank and properly instruct someone on such? Uh, he already taught road safety and self defense. Close enough―!

Caboose just sees James as a nice old man and a really good friend. He likes to give James big hugs. During the time when James becomes tiny because he got stuck in a dryer Caboose stands up for him. He does all he can do to help James adjust to his new life!

(Click for better graphics) Best single father of 5 ^^

‼️TW‼️: blood