#crabnon

So in your tags I saw you asked whether the pillars are butterflies or moths I’m thinking a good mix.

Mama Pillar as a butterfly and his Pa as a moth so howdy is a bit of both(? He doesn’t even really know what he is exactly and neither do his parents)

Also Mama Pillar has so much ✨fizz✨

Mama Pillar has had six husbands before Howdys Pa. It’s also why howdy has so many siblings, most are his half siblings.

Speaking of Mama Pillar she is one of the shortest members of the Pillar family but she is SUPER strong.

Instead of her Pa carrying her over the threshold after they married Mama Pillar carried him. (There is a four feet difference between them with Pa being taller)

Mama Pillar can even pick up Howdy still! It’s also what she did when she heard about his attitude.

She immediately went down to his store, picked him up with one set of arms and proceeded to use her other set to absolutely DESTROYED him.

Mama Pillar is the type of ler to use sugary sweet teases to make her lees go as red as a tomato.

And Howdy is indeed as red as a tomato and slowly getting redder.

Howdy: mahahahma please!

Mama Pillar: Nope I won’t hear it young man!

Mama Pillar: Especially after you were mean enough to use Barnabys mama against him!

The tickle sponge trio watched along side Barnaby and cheered Mama Pillar on.

Finally Howdy knew what it felt like to be attacked by four “mean” arms.

Tldr: Mama Pillar is the #1 rizzer and Howdy gets his cocky self wrecked!

🦀 anon

Damn, spoiling me and the people Crabnon! I kiss your forehead in the most platonic way possible!

I swear I am growing obsessed with this woman the more you talk about her. The fact that she is also small and mighty gives me the greatest kick in the world, I swear!

She is having none of her boy's nonsense and she's gonna teach him to mind his manners in the best way she knows how! By absolutely tickling him to pieces in front of his little friends (and best customer).

The good boy and tiny trio were absolutely bamboozled to watch the 'ultimate tickle monster' be reduced to a giggling, blushing, blubbering heap by his own mother! And she's barely over half his size!

Julie and Sally were 100% playing cheerleader while Barnaby just stood smugly and enjoyed the show. Wally however was low-key suffering because her killer teases and 'ruthless' tickles were giving the poor boy the worst second-hand 'Lee mood.

Howdy has three younger siblings Harvey, Timmy and “Lucy” Lucrecia the triplets.

Howdy hasn’t spent that much time with them actually. (At least not as much time as his parents or his older siblings)

The triplets where born a little over four months after the big argument between Howdy and Pa (Howdy was 16 close to 17 at that point)

When Howdy turned 19 he moved out to start his own business so the triplets where 2 about to turn 3.

But Howdy obviously visited quite a bit as he was just running a small store at the time.

He’d often come babysit the triplets whilst his parents and siblings worked and was basically their nanny up until they were 5 years old.

When howdy had turned 22 he’d moved out the neighbourhood, which is a three and a half hour drive from the family businesses/homes.

Mama and Pa tried to get them another nanny but the triplets just wanted their big brother and ultimately they ran out over 16 nannys before Mama and Pa called up Howdy to try and talk sense into them.

At this point the triplets where 8 years old and it was the first time they truly experienced a Howdy wrecking given that I like to imagine Howdy is even “meaner” than their Mama.

Ultimately the triplets agreed to try and give the next nanny a chance and now they have a sweet lady named “Abby” (Abigail) although the twins now 22 years old insist that they don’t really need a nanny (although Abby is now officially a maid) anymore but Mama and Pa are a little more than overprotective over all their kids due to their own upbringings so they’ve had no luck.

The triplets have never actually tickled Howdy they’ve tried but Howdy always either:

A: tickles one of them to pieces when one of them tries

Or B: he calls in Mama or Pa for backup when two or three of them try (Mama and Pa always come to help him)

The triplets where originally going to the bugdega to destroy him as well but they realised they were to late and Mama and Pa had already gotten to him.

Timmy: GOD DANG IT EVERY TIME WE TRY TO GET HIM WE ALWAYS FAIL!

Lucy: So why don’t we do in there and help out Mama and Pa? *lucy smirks*

Harvey: No guys that’s a bit to mean even for me. He’s already being destroyed by our parents and teased by our siblings he doesn’t need anymore.

Harvey has always been one of the most level headed of the Pillar siblings (coming second to Howdy himself in most situations)

The triplets get to talking with Barnaby as they wanted to meet Howdys best customer which quickly turns into the good boy and the triplets making a plan to destroy him before they leave which does work actually! With the only hiccup of Howdy getting his revenge on all of them using the tiny trio and Frank.

That’s all for now I’m still so glad you like my Pillar family!

🦀 anon

Little siblings!! I love the little twerps!

Howdy would be such a fun, goofy older brother. No wonder they missed him so much. But the fact that Mama and Pa sicced him on the littles is hilarious. I can just imagine Ma standing there with a grin like 'my boy did learn from the best'

The fact that they never did get their revenge up until that day is so silly and adorable. They didn't get a chance to pounce him before Ma and Pa got their hands on him, probably a good thing Harvey canned the mission (or else there would have been four giggling caterpillars in the store, rather than just one)

Leave it to Barnaby to help the threesome finally extract some long awaited vengeance on their big-headed older brother! They got him good I imagine!

But Howdy isn't one to let a tickle-attack go unreturned! So he rounds up ALL the 'little guys' (the tiny trio and the husbands) and absolutely destroys his little siblings and Howdy delt with Barnaby personally, neither tum nor paws were spared.

His older siblings *dramatic lightning and music in the background graciously given to me by sally*

Howdy (this is back when he was a boy) being the youngest for a good tpfew years before his younger siblings came along was often the annoying little sh*t sibling stereotype.

Trying to steal his older sister’s (Veronica and Hailey) journals, constantly pulling pranks on his older brothers (Harvey and Bailey), telling the most awful jokes etc etc.

So inevitably Howdy was often on the receiving end of his older siblings tickles, his parents still find it hilarious to this day.

As Howdy got older though a small rift began to form due to his fathers pressure on all of them to be successful and his older siblings being well more than successful causing howdy to grow jealous of them and their relationship with Pa.

His older siblings grew to be much, much richer than howdy causing more and more jealousy on howdys end.

After the massive fight with his father,and after his siblings heard about howdys jealousy, they’ve since worked to build up a better relationship like when they were younger.

It has,for the most part, gone off without a hitch except that howdy still to this day still has some small amounts of jealousy towards his older siblings.

So you can probably imagine his embarrassment when his older sibling walk in on their parents tickling him to pieces.

His older siblings don’t tickle howdy (they recognise that having both parents go after him like this in front of his friends was probably enough already) but they do tease him from the sidelines.

Veronica: Daww what wrong baby bro? Can’t handle a little tickling?

Bailey: Poor thing you really can’t handle tickles can you?

Davey: Your face is already redder than your tomato supply god knows how red it’ll look by the time Mama and Pa are done with you!

Hailey: The poor baby bug will have to be put down for a nap afterwards like when we were kids!

Mama: you four better stop it right this instant! don’t make me and your father come over there!

Pa: because we will!

The older siblings immediately backed of lmao.

No one messes with their parents. Ever.

🦀

YES YES CRABNON, I was waiting for this one. I knew siblings were gonna pop up eventually and I love the headcanons you've got for them so far!

Man, Howdy being the buttmunch younger brother makes so much sense considering his personality. I am really happy he and his siblings managed to patch the rift before it became impassable! Relationships like that are like nothing else in the world (as an older brother, I can attest that).

HOO BOY, but when they barge in looking for mom and dad and catch them tickling the poor guy to pieces, it's a treat for the eyes! Turns out their big-for-his-britches little brother is still as ticklish as he was when they were younger.

Naturally they're gonna tease him! Howdy probably figured dying on the spot would be less painful! But thankfully Ma and Pa step in because being tickled senseless in front of his friends was punishment enough. The peanut gallery can save their 2 cents for later!

Pa Pillar tries to be an absolute tickle monster, quote tries to be, Pa Pillar is often outdone by Mama Pillar given that she is an absolute beast when it comes to tickles.

Pa has actually been wreck by Mama more than once actually (howdy and his siblings don’t know that though!)

Pa Pillars worst spots are his hips, his stomach and his antennae (one of the main reasons he constantly wears a ball cap lmao)

Now just because Pa Pillar is often the one being tickled when it comes to his wife that doesn’t mean it the same with his children!

Howdy has always been one of Pa Pillars main victims even back when he was a kid.

Pa was the first to figure out that Howdys underarms are one of his worst spots and gladly tells Barnaby about it when they visit.

Once Pa hears about how Howdy asked Mrs.Beagle about Barnabys worst spots and how he had provoked Mrs.Beagle into tickling Barnaby he immediately went down the bugdega to wreck him only to find his wife had already gotten to him and was currently tickling him to pieces.

Pa (after the slight shock of his wife carrying Howdy wore off) had eventually joined in on tickling their boy until he was nothing but a puddle of giggles.

Pa (after he softens later in life) is sugary sweet when it comes to teasing not as sweet as Eddie, if that’s even possible, but he is definitely sweet enough to make someone go as red as a tomato.

He has a sh*t eating grin the whole time when he teases someone as well, he finds it hilarious when he sees a lee turn red.

Pa Pillar: What’s wrong my boy? Is someone a little to tickle,tickle,ticklish?

Howdy: Pahahaha pleahahahas! Dohohohont!

Pa Pillar: Don’t want hun?

Howdy: Tickle me!

*Pa Pillar and Mama Pillar share a knowing look*

Howdy: M-Mama, Pa please no!

*Mama and Pa Pillar proceeded to DESTROY Howdy* lmao

🦀

My friend, this is not a bother at all. I am deeply invested at this point.

I am hopelessly in love with this whole family Crabnon! The way you characterize each member is so precious and I love their goofy dynamic.

Oh Pa Pillar sounds like an absolute doll. I absolutely love big, soft men (+ for father figures). It deeply appeals to me. And the fact that his wife gets him the most is the silliest thing and I love that for him. She makes him laugh so easily.

Howdy really landed himself in the doghouse (figuratively) using Barnaby's own mama against him! Good, 'bout time he did something to get his shit handed back to him with interest. Of course, his own parents would be the best thing! No one would know how to wreck this man's entire everything better than family!

Oh I bet the minute Pa showed up at the front door, the girls were just like 'Ooooohhh, you're in trouble now!'. Barnaby's full-on grinning at this point, and Wally's just trying to keep it together.

Once the old man joins in, Howdy's screwed six ways from Sunday. Pa's sugary teases paired with Ma's ruthlessness are second only to Eddie and Frank's mutual team-up. And these are his parents, he's not gonna try and fend them off, he knows better.

So howdys mom I imagine is quite similar to Mrs.Beagle in the sense that she is embarrassingly proud of her boy.

He moved into a lovely little town, runs his own business and has made so many new friends she couldn’t be prouder.

Mama Pillar even brought a couple family albums with her to show her boys friends much to howdys pure embarrassment.

But that doesn’t “mean” she isn’t mean either, Howdy actually got all of his “bullying” tendencies from Mama Pillar herself!

She would be the one to take Howdy down a peg the most on the visit when she feels howdy is getting to big for his britches.

Once Mama Pillar finds out about her boy asking Mrs.Beagle about Barnabys worst posts and then teasing him for it Mama Pillar goes to wreck her son herself!

Barnaby is on the sidelines the whole time (maybe even with a camera if he’s feeling extra mean that day)

Once Howdys family leaves Barnaby better run because he is number one on Howdys wrecking list and he is bound to be on there for a LONG while lmao.

🦀 anon

Back so soon and with more delicious family headcanon's for me! Crabnon, you're just too kind!

Oh I can just imagine this kind, but very proud transatlantic woman with a huge personality. She's just so darn proud of her self-made son. Runs his own business and is a backbone in this lovely little town with so many friends that seem to just adore him as much as she does!

OH AND THE IDEA HE'S GOT MA'S ATTITUDE. He WOULD be a Mama's boy, I can see it honestly! And naturally, proud as she if of him, she's sure as sugar ain't gonna let him get away with using someone's own mother against them. Not unless he's prepared for a taste of his own medicine.

She certainly still remembers all of his tickle spots! And she's more than happy to go down the list if it teaches him a lesson. All while Barnaby is there to witness a professional mother takedown himself. If watching his mom get him was half as funny as this, no wonder!

Oh the good boy is taking notes, mentally of course. But he's gonna make sure the whole neighborhood knows about this!