Jan 19, 2025
A part of my sexual trauma is I want to avoid sex, but there is also my dominatrix alter ego who wants to suffocate a guy with my thighs
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A part of my sexual trauma is I want to avoid sex, but there is also my dominatrix alter ego who wants to suffocate a guy with my thighs
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Guys, I don’t know if you have similar problems, but no matter how much I believe in being recovered from Polytoxicomania, I always bounce back. I always find myself craving, and when I do d**** I just basically am starting to develop a new addiction every damn time. It actually doesn’t even matter which substance, I just cant stop. I have moments of self-control, but after their passing, it’s even worse than before. It just sucks because although I have so many moments where I am strong and proud about how far I have come; I suddenly bounce back and do stuff I always regret afterwards, but I just don’t have any control. I am just weak and it sucks because I’m somewhere between wanting to recover and never wantingstop doing drugs because at the end there’s just me and my time here is limited. I actually don’t know how to get over this, I feel pathetic, I need help.
Stripped down is where I lay, finding who I am. Life has a way of taking you from what you are, destroying you, breaking you down...uplifting you, enlightening you and then bringing you back to who you always were; just better, wiser, older and healed from the battles that were signed before birth in contract. I'm proud of who I've become✨️ 🖤♥️ Alchemy is truly a beautiful thing~
🖤♥️✨️
May we never linger too long
Trust Yourself,
Listen to your Body,
Love all of You.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
The Unnoticed Toll
TW: This is going to mention abuse, neglect, and a dead parent. As well as just parents being bad, the idea that not everyone should have kids, and mention of inherited genetic traits. Read on at your own risk.
Okay so we all know that the nuclear family isn't something that is real for everyone. So many of us are born into unsafe or destructive homes, and a lot of us have to fight to survive. But this isn't a post just about abuse and how prevalent it is and how no one wants to talk about it or act like it's fucking real when those of us who survived it know how real it is. This is about the part that a lot of people don't ever seem to think about. And honestly until recently I didn't realize just how extreme of a difference it made.
So most of the people who are abused as kids are also neglected in some way, shape or form as well, if not multiple forms. One that I realized recently as my body is slowly giving out due to crappy af genetics, is how many issues, bodily problems etc, can be dismissed, go unnoticed or ignored when you are abused. For example, if my mother had died earlier...I don't think I would have ever gotten glasses until the school forced my bio dick to get them. When they broke and I was in elementary school, I didn't get a replacement for MONTHS.
Now then imagine my surprise at not even being middle aged and needing surgery because my hips have a weird AF genetic condition...which can be found and corrected WHEN YOU ARE A KID. You know...if your parent isn't actively trying to kill you, or scaring you into believing that. Or if your next guardian actually believed you. I was diagnosed with asthma in elementary school and didn't get my first inhaler until I was in college and could pay for it myself. Because "if you were really an asthmatic you would know how to use the inhaler properly the first time." And my doctor couldn't force the evil woman to buy me one! I played sports, I did the stupid PE shit, and I kept having asthma attacks and I could have died from the negligence and NOTHING happened. No ONE did anything.
Back to my point...for kids like me, I rolled my ankles allllll the time, I could have had orthodics to help that...I could have gone to PT to help all my joints stabilize. They could have looked into my hypermobility...but they didn't care. So I did sports that were especially hard on my body because I didn't know any better. I put myself at risk in sports because I needed to get out of my house for as long as I could. For a decent chunk of my life I had food and shelter and clothes (though there were times I didn't because I was being abused) but besides the basic needs *minus safety and good sleep) being met...so many things that could have helped future me, kept me strong and set me up for success...medically and physically...were ignored and neglected. And to me, that is something we should talk about more. It's not just the emotional and mental toll we take as we are living in unsafe environments, its the medical neglect and the physical tolls all that abuse takes on our bodies that should be talked about as well. And if no one else is going to talk about it...I fucking will.
"When everything feels like the movies, yeah you bleed just to know you're alive"
When what you are running from lives inside you
Sit still, breathe,
It will leave.
It is not you,
You are SO much bigger than this.