IT'S STILL WEIRD TO BREATHE IN FRESH AIR AGAIN ; a goddamn year gone by with only high walls to look at , confined to a courtyard that had been too small for the amount of ego it used to pack . he's not sure what to do with all that space he has again , since she's picked him up from Fort Wayne ( her , not his parents , who apparently believe that the time their son is getting out of jail would be ideal to go on vacation to escape the winter cold ) ; pacing around , taking it all in without constantly being told to step back or get in line . the simple ability to grab his keys , walk outside , close the door behind him , get in a car , and go wherever he wants to is one Tommy won't take for granted anymore . especially not when it leads him here - nothing but a hilltop and a familiar view of the city still semi - asleep before them . he can't recall the amount of hours they've spent here before , just like this ; looking down , drinking , talking , occasionally finding a fun way to end the night in the back of his Alpha . . .
he's not delusional enough to think that a year apart could fix what happened , but there's not denying that she's here . right by his side again , her form still fitting so perfectly against his own , his arm around her shoulder , and the way her fingers run across his knuckles conjures up memories , too . he's fucked this up royally . he knows it , too . if anything , jail provides you with a lot of time to think , up to a point where even Tommy couldn't feign ignorance anymore . there's nowhere to run when those intrusive thoughts hit in the middle of the night , confirming what he's known anyways : that he's a hopeless asshole who had chased away the one good thing in his life . probably . . . maybe . . .
the flame of the zippo illuminates his freckles for a moment , smoke sucked into his lungs along with the cold winter air , just as Carol looks up at him and Tommy , ever the idiot , teasingly blows some of the smoke into her pretty face . he expects protest and one of her familiar slaps . what he receives instead is a sudden lurch forward and an abrupt stop , followed by brief moment of surprised silence - and a question pressed to the corner of his mouth . one he , frankly , doesn't quite understand . for Tommy , there is no scenario , not a single moment , no lifetime when he wouldn't want Carol . she could kill him over and over again , and still he'd come back to her . that one drug that's always been more addictive than booze or coke could have ever been .
he shifts the arm slung across her shoulder , lifts the hand until he has her jaw in a gentle grasp , thumb briefly running across her cheek , and tilts her head towards him fully - his lips finding hers for a real , proper kiss . it takes less than a second for fireworks to explode in his chest ; all new and unexpected and familiar at the same time . she still tastes the same , feels the same , soft and sweet with hidden little promises in the way her lips move against his , and after more than a year of deprivation , his head spins a little easier than it usually does . it's one of those kisses that start out slow , testing the waters , but soon enough there's a touch of desperation added , mixed with relief and some desire that's not entirely sexual , but deeper than that . the cigarette burns down without him even noticing and even when they eventually do part again for air , he stays close ; his forehead leaning against hers , refusing to let her slip away again . " I'm so sorry . " a low whisper only she can hear .
