First of many reflections on CoV4
I am still processing the last several days. I can, however, say that going to the Incite! Color of Violence 4 Conference was one of the most amazing experiences in my life and it could not have come at a better time.
Attempting to organize in Providence, particularly as a Black woman, can be incredibly draining and dispiriting. Recently I've felt particularly disempowered and I knew that I needed time to recharge. The conference was that and more. Going to the workshops, plenaries, and even just walking through the hotel, was wonderful. Being surrounded by other PoC, particularly all of the amazing Black women, is an experience I barely have words for. Seeing the work that other organizations are doing, seeing the love and care folks have for each other and their communities, it was truly beautiful and awe-inspiring. It reinvigorated me to come back to Providence and to keep fighting to build here (and let it be clear that Providence will always be where I build. I know I'm leaving soon for a couple of years but in the end this is my community. I will always return here to fight for and with the Providence community because this is my home and y'all are my people).
I obviously learned very practical things that will serve us well when it comes to organizing as well as critiquing dominant systems of oppression. But, most importantly, I saw how much people took community care, healing, and self-care seriously. Sometimes here it seems like only a few of us are really and truly talking about it (with many more paying lip service). It can begin to feel like caring about these things are not priority, but that is not the case and the conference reaffirmed my belief that if we are not putting community care and healing FIRST as a foundation to a radical and revolutionary movement then we are putting ourselves and others at a great disservice. We cannot continue to focus purely on tearing down if we have not put in the time to *build*. Because, with no true community built, what will exist when everything has been dismantled and burnt down?
The conference has shown me that there is no excuse for the lack of emphasis on healing and community care in activist circles. And this work is not only for SOME of us to do but for ALL of us to do.
The conference was also inspiring in that it gives me hope that we can actually have a movement that is accountable and truly makes the effort to care for all. Not only did CoV4 play an integral part in hosting the first national Trans-Anti Violence Convening but they worked to make the hotel and the conference a safe(r) and healing space for all. The organizers did not only make the bathrooms accessible and available for all, but they did intensive training with the hotel staff to ensure safety for conference participants. They even made sure to pick a union hotel as the site for the conference. There were healing spaces available throughout the conference, as well as a room set up for children with child-care (and while the children's inter-planetary room existed, all of the workshops were open and welcoming to children!). When a problem did occur with an MC who was hired for the cultural event (they apparently made anti-black, transphobic, triggering remarks) the organizers immediately worked to address this transgression and apologize to all of us (whether we were at the event or not). I can continue to rattle off things but this is all to say that there is HOPE that we can actually do these things and do them well--and learn and build from any mistakes that do occur.
CoV4 was an experience I will hold in my heart forever. And it also pushes me to hold all Providence organizers accountable for their actions and lack there of. If we hope to build anything here we must truly begin to put an emphasis on building and sustaining community and finding ways to heal together. We have to build together. We have to learn to trust each other. A revolution will never be successful if it is simply being fought by individuals who think they have some of the same goals in mind. We truly do have to come together to the point where we are not individuals fighting but a collective winning.
I am incredibly grateful to have been able to attend this conference. I want to give a special shoutout to SEAFN (Southeast Asian Freedom Network) and all of the individuals involved in making it possible for me to attend. Spending time with them, as well as things stated during some of the workshops and plenaries, really made me think through the concept of solidarity. To paraphrase some of Ashley Yates brilliant commentary during the opening plenary, we cannot let solidarity simply be a buzzword. So, what does it mean to work in solidarity with others? What does that look like on a macro and micro level? I truly believe that if we are to fight alongside and for others, with the ultimate goal of liberation for all, then we must take the time to truly learn what some of the battles our allies are facing. The nuances in our battles for liberation are critical, and to truly support one another we should work to learn the history and culture of our allies.
