#courageneeded

and as usual i get distracted but this time its by the realisation that 2015 isn't too far away and 2 months into the new year i'll be 21 ..

21 why is is more significant then 20 ? I'm being urged to have a celebration but as i remind my family id actually just appreciate the day in bed boring perhaps but that is me 

from i can't even remember how old I've had this idea in my head that 21 will be the year .. now i do not know for what but it will be special i will i repeat  or the purpose of the universe I WILL GRADUATE WITH A GREAT DEGREE please and thank you 

but i have the strange urge to go and volunteer in brazil or something along those lines i know it involves going out into the world and helping something I've dreamt of doing for a while now 

but then i have that fear .. trying to organise with friends take effort so why not go by my self and make new friends find out who i am learn a new language and find love do something extraordinary but then the fear , the i will go and spend all my savings and come back broke , will i have a job when i come back what will i do with  my time ... will i even make it back home 

but the pros out weigh the cons and i hope it happens .. just the thought of being able to go and impact a strangers live and having experiences beyond my wildest dreams me thrills to an extent I'm not even sure registers .....