#counter-intuitive

(disclaimer: definitely NOT this calm on the inside)

Originally published on Miki Agrawal May 25, 2021.

Sometimes when I “try and figure things out on my own”, I can get overwhelmed. None of us know how to do this alone, and yet for some reason it feels “hard” to admit we need help. Why is that? Likely because when we were kids, we were taught to be autonomous and told to figure things out on our own so to ask for help has become counter-intuitive. (It’s kind of like being told to use birth control our whole lives and then all of a sudden we are told to make a baby, there is some recalibration that has to happen, right?) I think admitting we need help and then asking for help is a recalibration moment in an adult shame-based society. And it’s brave to do, because it goes against what we’re taught. Yes there is Google to get the baseline info but then admitting we need help and asking for help when it comes to emotional support or anything is not only ok but an important step to getting to where we really want to go. I love admitting I need help and asking for help now. Because when I admit I need help, the help truly always arrives! And life always gets better and better.

Day 40 in the corona house: Don’t clap for me, I’m a cleaner.

Earlier in this series of quarantine posts, I mentioned that I have a tendency to question accepted wisdom. Some see this as being naturally contrarian, others as being a desire to tilt at windmills.

I hope it’s not default contrarianism and I don’t intentionally tilt at windmills, though I accept it may appear as such to others. There are two fundamental ‘triggers’ for me. The first is a…

CrystalPlanet: The Point of disapPOINTment How do you deal with disappointments? https://wp.me/p7D0gK-Ge

The Point of disapPOINTment

With our high hopes, we do face the occasional disappointment. Not getting that promotion you worked so hard for. Having to postpone a holiday because of some reason, or difficulty in scheduling a meeting because someone’s too busy. How do you deal with such disappointments?

Here’s something I have learnt that seems like a great idea.

If you don’t get that promotion…

 You know, trigger warnings seem almost ironic to the whole concept of feminism. Counter-intuitive, even.

A headline that came up recently:

“Feminist Conference says ‘clapping triggers anxiety,’ asks attendees to use ‘jazz hands’ instead.”

...really, feminists? really? You’re gonna tell people to not clap, which is a form of expression, just because some people might get “offended.”

Now, i’m not gonna focus on that, because people can just choose not to go to the conference and all that, so it’s not really infringing any anyone’s general freedom of expression.

...But it’s just so SAD AND EMBARRASSING! 

Feminists, you do remember what your entire activist group was created for in the first place, right? To let people know that you deserve rights just the same as all men?