i’m surrounded by people who don’t understand me. who will pick on me the moment i slip up. who still blame me for things that happened years ago. i feel like i’m nothing. like problems would be solved if i just wasn’t here. one less mouth to feed. one less person to worry about. one less person using utilities. 

so yeah my paranoia, I don't even mf know if its paranoia.

but basically I took a shower in this different shower and I got nervous about bugs, people, people killing me, hiding behind me, him, shower filling up, haunting. like a hella lot of other shit too, and I was just crying the whole time, but I also had to shower because being clean and being like OCD but not actually OCD.